Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

shit scared of having a cleaner

59 replies

Sloven · 30/10/2017 10:21

NC for this as I don't want to be outed.

I am a single parent to one DC, and we live in an old largeish 3 bedroom house. Cheap rent because it is damp and falling apart around the edges and not in particularly good nick.

Over the last few years my health has taken a turn for the worse and I can no longer be as physically active as I used to be, especially in winter. I have joint and mobility problems and can't keep the house as clean and tidy as I would like it and the mess makes me very irritable and depressive. I finally bit the bullet and have hired a cleaner, as I also work full time and feel that it would be a good use of some of my income.

I'm sitting here waiting for her to turn up and starting to get really really nervous - to the point of feeling like cancelling - because I am embarrassed at the state of my house and I don't know what I can reasonably ask her to do or what to expect. I was raised a working class girl with no airs or graces and have been a chambermaid, scrubbed toilets, done a lot of domestic and cleaning work myself over the years and part of me is very uncomfortable delegating those tasks to someone else now (even though a lot of my closest friends and my DP have been gently suggesting it for a while knowing that I struggle with heavy jobs).

I am painfully shy with new people and a bit of a doormat. I've booked her for 5 hours - what can I reasonably expect? Do cleaners wash up? Make beds? Clear surfaces? Generally tidy? Judge you for dried in sauce stains you never even noticed clinging to cupboard doors? Change bins? Should I go out? How do I pay her? Do I make tea? Would that be weird? What if she thinks I'm a slob?

Can people with cleaners advise? I posted on my FB and took it down a few mins later as distant family members who have no idea how unwell I am started weighing in calling me 'lazy' and 'up myself' for getting domestic help. I feel enough of a failure as it is without their sly digs.

OP posts:

brasty · 30/10/2017 10:48

I have been a cleaner. Yes cleaners judge, but the kind of things we judge that I have seen - used sanitary towels left on the floor, dog poo obviously been there for a few days on the floor, etc. Although these type of people do not keep cleaners long.

Ordinary dirt is fine. Please don't panic.

Viviennemary · 30/10/2017 10:49

If your house is as untidy and in need of a clean as you say maybe she could do extra hours for the first few weeks to get the house up to scratch. If you can afford it that is. Don't be embarrassed by the state of your house. If everybody kept their houses sparkling themselves cleaners would be out of a job. And they wouldn't be happy with that. I'm sure it will all be fine.

sparechange · 30/10/2017 10:52

It sounds like a cleaner is more of a necessity than a luxury for you, OP.

Cleaners definitely don’t judge or gossip, and all the ones I know love their job and love seeing everything sparkling and in its place

I have a cleaner for 5 hours a week and in that time she:
Changes the beds, puts the sheets on to wash and then hangs them out to dry (and puts them away if they are dry in time)
Cleans the bathrooms
Cleans the kitchen - wipes surfaces, cleans hob and extractor, empties dishwasher, hoovers and mops floors. Once a month, she descales the kettle, cleans the inside of the fridge, etc
Hoovers everywhere, gets cobwebs, wipes any marks off the walls and doors
Empties kitchen and bathroom bins
Takes cushions off the sofa and plumps them up, has a general tidy up
Irons DH’s work shirts and puts away the clean laundry in the right rooms
If she has any time left over, she cleans the inside of windows, or pulls the furniture out to hoover underneath, or does other ‘deep clean’ jobs

Original poster

Sloven · 30/10/2017 10:53

@Worra

Without wanting to out myself my DP is a bit like an MP and has her flat close to work because she works bonkers hours (very early mornings, very late nights). I live near my DCs extended family 40 miles away. We make it work and have a lovely life together, just sleep apart a little more than I'd like but no different to an MPs wife or a shift worker I suppose

OP posts:

Original poster

Sloven · 30/10/2017 10:55

@brasty

Already had it as a given that all bodily excretions are my responsibility as long as I am physically able to deal with them!!

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 30/10/2017 10:56

Ahh I see OP.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 30/10/2017 11:01

5 hours sounds plenty, if it's going to be that much every week I'd say there was time for a bed change and an hour's ironing. Leave the place as tidy as you can.

derxa · 30/10/2017 11:12

If you can go out after your initial chat then it's better for some reason.
But if not then just go where she's not working. A cleaner has saved our sanity over the years. It's lovely coming back to a clean and tidy house.

DistanceCall · 30/10/2017 11:52

You are paying the cleaner, aren't you? Someone gets to be paid for their work, and you get a clean house without damaging your health. Win-win.

The family members who call you lazy are arseholes. I would cut them off if that's their attitude towards you.

Urubu · 30/10/2017 11:54

I have the same kind of house, OP. My cleaner comes 5h a week and she cleans the house (vacuum, dusting, mopping, bathroom&kitchen, windows and mirrors), changes the bedsheets, irons 4-5 items of clothing, takes out all the bins, plus one specific task which changes each week (clean the oven, clean inside the fridge, clean the outside of the front door, etc).
I tidy up the evening before she is due to come as I want her to be able to focus on cleaning, so for ex will sure the floor is clear so she can vacuum easily even if it means piling up bulky toys on the sofa.

Original poster

Sloven · 30/10/2017 12:06

Thanks @urubu that is super useful. I have stripped the beds and left clean bedding in place, and picked up what I can off floors and surfaces.

That makes me sound awful - my floor is generally clean I just mean bags and those piles of kiddy crap that accumulate in corners!

Is it worth putting post it notes on cupboard doors for a while eg cutlery, pans, crockery, food store, bedding, etc?

OP posts:

Original poster

Sloven · 30/10/2017 12:10

Also this may sound odd but what do you all do about bedrooms? Blushing furiously here but my bedroom is...uh...well shall we say DC is probably oblivious to the reasoning behind industrial strength D rings screwed around my large velour bed, but a woman of the world may not be quite so naive ...and my bedside cupboard is a rival for any back end of an Ann Summers flagship store. I may have a displaced hip and frozen shoulder but the rest of me works just fine 😂

I'm fine with her hoovering my bedroom etc but don't want to scare her away!

OP posts:

FreudianSlurp · 30/10/2017 12:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

brasty · 30/10/2017 12:15

She should not look in drawers unless you tell her to do so. She will know what the rings are for though.

grimeofthecentury · 30/10/2017 12:16

Errr.. cleaners will have seen all sorts but can you put a sticky on your, erm, toy chest saying private if it bothers you?

I don't actually know what you mean by d rings? But cleaner will prob be unphased?

Original poster

Sloven · 30/10/2017 12:17

@Freudian

Over door jambs are for strength training. Yuh huh.

OP posts:

milliemolliemou · 30/10/2017 12:24

Off topic again but if your house is damp and your health isn't good, invest in a dehumidifier. It'll help both you and your cleaner.

Jaxhog · 30/10/2017 12:28

I've had a weekly cleaner (several different) for over 30 years. In 5 hours I'd expect a full dust and vacuum, full bathroom clean x2, kitchen surfaces etc. basic tidying and ironing (for 2 of us). She usually manages a chat too!

Please don't worry, cleaners have seen everything and will do anything reasonable. Just have a chat and agree what you need her to do. She'll let you know what she can and can't do in that time. Then stay out of her way.

DJBaggySmalls · 30/10/2017 12:32

Dont worry about your bedroom, being a cleaner tends to lower your startle response
You sound like an ideal employer. Relax, put the kettle on, explain about your mobility issues and list what you'd like done most urgently.
Ask her what she can do in that time, negotiate what you;d like doing every time she comes and leave a list of extras for when the core tasks are completed.

grannytomine · 30/10/2017 12:40

Slightly off topic here OP but have you thought about moving. A damp run down house won't be doing your health any good. I worked in an old building that didn't even appear very damp but there was black mold behind the wallpaper. I had xrays, antibiotics, an inhaler and nothing was helping with my health problems. The doctor saw me and told me he was going to diagnose COPD, I told him I was cured. He looked puzzled and I told him my office had been decorated, mold dealt with and I was fine. Not had a problem since.

Just thought it might be worth you thinking of as your health is important and if you can afford something a bit better it might help. I hope you are OK and the cleaner is nice.

Original poster

Sloven · 30/10/2017 12:41

@DJ thanks! Pacing the house waiting for her to come and have pretty much never had it tidier than it is now what with all the nervous pottering I've been doing. Sods law

OP posts:

Original poster

Sloven · 30/10/2017 12:43

@granny

My house is so perfect for me and my DC though, I wouldn't dream of moving. Landlord has just inherited it (complicated) and is very good at getting things done so am writing him a snagging list of concerns. Likely he doesn't know the extent of the problem as he has only just taken it on and I have been too polite to say.

OP posts:

PerkingFaintly · 30/10/2017 12:44

I've been in a very similar position, Sloven (re need for a cleaner, not the D-rings ).

Took me a while to get my head round it, but the change to my quality of life was amazing. Mine have been really helpful with errands and odd jobs too (as part of their paid time).

I just mentioned why I needed them in my initial chat - so they knew I was asking them to pick things up off floors because I couldn't get down and up, not because I was being a slob or throwing a power trip. It also meant we could discuss to what extent they were happy to do odd jobs (eg lifting things in the garden, taking things to the post).

PerkingFaintly · 30/10/2017 12:45

Relax, put the kettle on, explain about your mobility issues and list what you'd like done most urgently.
Ask her what she can do in that time, negotiate what you;d like doing every time she comes and leave a list of extras for when the core tasks are completed.

This.

Original poster

Sloven · 30/10/2017 12:45

It is on the sea and I keep it well ventilated so I am breathing far more sea air than manky wall in anyway

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3