To be counting the hours till DH gets home?

[minniemummy0]

DH paternity leave is up and he’s gone back to work. Baby has chosen today to decide she’ll not sleep anywhere but in my arms. They say don’t sleep with them in your arms. They also say sleep when baby is sleeping. I don’t see how I can get any sleep, she’s been like this all night. Crying like a banshee if put down. I just want half an hours sleep.

I miss my DH and hate being here on my own. :( I don’t really have an AIBU except aibu to be so sad when all I’ve wanted my entire life is a baby and now I’ve got one I’m sobbing like an ungrateful cow? I feel like the worst mother in the world.

Its really upsetting when something you have been looking forward to for ever turns out to be nothing like what you expected!

This is a very normal response to having a newborn.

The important thing is to stay safe and keep the baby safe. This means not sleeping in a chair with the baby, but instead following the guidelines on bed sharing to get some sleep when the baby is sleeping. It means not driving if you are too tired or will panic if the baby starts crying (I found I couldn't drive safely with DD shrieking at me). It means leaving the baby in a safe place and stepping away for 5 mins to calm down if you are getting overwhelmed. It means asking your DH for help when you need it.

People have a huge range of experience of parenthood, but there are a lot of us out here who found it incredibly difficult. It doesn't make us bad mothers...any more than it makes our babies bad babies!

Have you got one of those next to bed cots? On the same level as you? Found these great, I had one arm in there...

I remember this too. I had three non-sleepers - any sleeping they did was either on me/us or snuggled right up. We co-slept (light duvet nowhere near the baby, no pillow near, firm mattress) with all three. Even then they weren't great sleepers. All now teens or adults, slept happily in their own beds from 2 or 3. It will pass - your trick is to find ways of sleeping safely with her to save your sanity.

Are you breast feeding? The only way I could get DS1 to nap on his own was by feeding him lying down and slowly and gently moving away from him.

Sleepyhead sleepyhead sleepyhead.... did I mention get a sleepyhead??? Not only are babies often more accepting to being laid down in one - they are great for sleeping together. Pop her in and use the edge as your own pillow and wrap arms over like a cuddle.... I’ve spent many days/ nights napping on that position. Also safe for the baby as you can’t roll in and they can’t roll out. Breathable fabric as long as you use the official brand covers are not associated with the same risks as other sleep positioners.

Thank you so much for your messages, they were much appreciated.

I do actually have a Sleepyhead but she still doesn’t want to go down! I am going to look into co-sleeping. I’ve also ordered some swaddles and we are looking at getting a wrap/sling/baby carrier.

I gave up on the idea of sleep in the end but got a couple of hours after DH got home!

Hopefully tomorrow will be a little easier. It was a bit overwhelming being on my own with her for the first time. Thanks for all the advice, it’s nice just to know there are others who have gone through the same thing.

Don’t worry, it does get so much easier I promise. Although my LO is 6 months and I still wait for DH to get home because she now refuses to nap during the day and is a grumpy little sod by 4pm 🙈

But honestly it gets so much easier, just take one day at a time and remember everything is a phase and they do pass.

She's still a bit little for the sleepyhead, OP. It was between 6-8 weeks when DD finally slept in hers. And my god it was bliss, after 6 weeks of sitting upright at night (we couldn't co-sleep because we have a tempur mattress and it's not safe for children under 1 apparently, didn't know I was upduffed when we bought it!!!).

You will be fine. But nothing can prepare you for how tough the first few weeks are. Just don't put any pressure on yourself. You and the baby are fed, warm and alive - nothing else matters for the moment :)

Oh I remember that feeling so well when I had DS. DH would come home and I would pull the limpet off me and give him to him as he came through the door then go and lie down.
He found a video on YouTube of how to wrap and shush a crying baby and it worked really well on DS. DH was quite the expert at it. It had no effect on DD however when she came along.
Don't feel guilty, we have all been there. I am sure your DH would not mind you having a nap when he gets home, especially after a day like today. Try the wrapping - look on YouTube.
It will get better, I promise. I used to put DS in his pram and push him for miles every afternoon. The fresh and pram moving made him sleep and did me good.