To think it is too much effort to look for a relationship?

[Farontothemaddingcrowd]

I am in two minds. I am focusing on being happy single but part of me would like a relationship one day. I find the whole process of dating tedious however and I feel like I have little energy or enthusiasm. When I do date, it's rare that I click with someone.

I think it's too complicated for someone with 3 dc, a full time job, little free time, a house needing repairs etc. If I met someone - lovely, but where do they fit into my life?

It's sad, but I've had too many situations not work out. I'm deliberating between dating and looking for something that will fit into the little free time I have or just forgetting the whole thing!

You are definitely not being unreasonable.
I'm seeing someone just now but if he goes I'm not going to bother. I don't want kids/someone living with me so its just a casual/sex thing I'd be looking for and even finding that is a hassle!

I feel your pain OP. I'm in my 50s and really can't be arsed with a relationship. At my age, I simply don't have the time or the patience to involve myself in yet another merry-go-round of dates and disappointments. The men of my age that I've met so far are boring, set in their ways and one even criticised my hair BEFORE we'd even been on our first date. Apparently he liked women with their hair down. WTAF!

Try not to see it as an all or nothing approach. I’ve been online dating a couple of years and yes it’s frustrating. I wasn’t sure what I was looking for and honed my profile as i went along. It clearly states now that I’m not looking for the love of my life but someone to enjoy spending my downtime with which I realise is exactly what I want and there are men out there that value that honesty and are are happy with that level of commitment.

I’ve been on dates with a few men on that basis and found someone I clicked with in the summer. It’s good fun, we are friends, the sex is good and he enjoys hanging out with my DC. If that’s all it is I’m happy with that. Don’t need the big romance or promises of further commitment.