Names

[user1483390742]

I have a 3 year old son called Zachary. My SIL has just had a baby boy and called him Zak. Same surname. I am LIVID! AIBU?

It’s nothing to do with imagination. It’s not as though the OP called her son something unusual. What is there actually to be cross about? How does it affect the other person?

The trouble with similar/same names is that there is a distinction and usually it is a physical characteristic big/Zak little Zak, fat Zak, ginger Zak etc, or ownership conveyed: Marys Zak, Johns Zak.

Really?!

There were two Jessica’s in my DD’s pre-school. We referred to them as Jessica Smith and Jessica Jones (not real names obvs). Doesn’t everyone do that?

It's rude and it's strange. If you think it's ok, and it's something you'd do, well...

Cherry. The op says they have the same surname.

Yanbu.

Ah of course she did! My apologies.

It’s not something I’d do but you’ve not answered how exactly it is such a big deal.

I'd be livid as well! FWIW my DS is called Zachary (love the name) and sometimes I call him Zachary but mainly I call him Zach. I think its quite ususal for people not to be known by their full name so both cousins will end up being called Zach. What a nightmare for the grandparents!

Yanbu, at all.

I guess it depends on the size of the family - I know people with 40, 60 cousins so some overlap is inevitable. But I have one cousin on one side and five on the other. It would be very weird if any of us shared a first name I think. There's loads of names out there, just pick another.

A close friend used our favourite boy's name, so we'll look elsewhere. Similarly, my best friend is due a few months before me so if she uses a name we like, we'll choose another. It's not that hard.

I have the same name as my sister, so cousins sharing names isn't strange for me.

They just look like copycats though.

Why are you angry at SIL and not DB? Presumably he also had a say on the name?

At any rate, as PPs have said they are different names - your DS will be referred to as Zachary whereas her DS will be referred to as Zac. No big deal.

It’s a bit weird.

I know that no one owns a name and all that, but I’d still be a bit annoyed and wondering why they couldn’t pick one of the hundreds of other boys names out there.
Livid is an overreaction though.

Odd, but she can use whatever name she wants. It's not really your concern, tbh.

Maybe she had a brother named Zac that died young.... maybe her grandfather was called Zac and she always wanted to name him after him ... you just don't know, and frankly, it's not your place to be upset or angry about it.

Yabu

You don’t own a name and Zac/Zachary has become a popular name

I'm in two minds about this one - OP I can see it's annoying for you that they didn't go for a different name.
But I can see the other side - I'm currently pg, and my first cousin has just used mine & DPs absolute favourite girl's name for her DD. We probably won't end up using it now (and ours might be a boy in any case), but it just seems really crappy and unfair that the only girl's name we both love would now be 'off limits' just because a relative managed to pop out a child before we did!

I didn't realise names were like toilet paper. Surely they can be used more than once.

Yawning you have the same name as your sister?? Wow, how confusing.

If I had my heart dead set on a particular name, there is no way in hell I'd be "picking another name" if another relative also had it, or a new baby relative was also named it shortly before my own child was born.

If anyone had a problem with it, then it'd be their problem and not mine. I'd think they needed to grow up.

Very confusing for the grandparents.

What shall we get Zak for Christmas?
Which Zak?
Zak Smith.
Which Zak Smith?

And in finitum for every conversation they have about their grandsons.

Zak is a common name so YABU.

yawning same name as your sister?!

Yep, same first name.

Same dad, different mums. Both randomly ended up with the same name.

We only really became aware of it as teens as we never met in childhood, and as teens got mistaken for each other regularly. No massive confusion but I can't see that it would have been too bad.

I have a n70,s type double name think "sarah -Jane " my cousin is "Jane " its not a big deal we also have two other cousins with very similar sounding names think Hannah and Anna again not a big deal a friend has a daughter Elizabeth who she calls Lizzie and her sister has a daughter Isabel who gets called izzie they seem to manage .

My SIL named her daughter the same name as my daughter. Mind you, my SIL was a stupid cow then and she's a stupid cow still.

I didn't realise names were like toilet paper. Surely they can be used more than once.

Of course names can be used lots of times. However, they are how we identify and label people, so it's a bit stupid to have two people with the same identifier in a small circle where this can be easily avoided.

I think I would be irritated but this is certainly not something to hold resentment over . The boys won’t mind.
I think you could have a short quiet sulk and then get on with the congratulations for the new baby.