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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to have cancelled my sons birthday party?

50 replies

Twerking9to5 · 27/10/2017 09:50

It's supposed to be my son's 4th bday party tomorrow. Had entertainer and church hall booked, party bags packed etc.

He has been really quite poorly for the last week, and has vomited 7 days in a row. He seems to perk up a bit in the day but throws up again early evening. This happened again last night, so I thought - 48 hours is the recommended time to stay away from others, we can't go ahead with the party.

Reluctantly contacted everyone and will reschedule, but we've lost about £60 in deposit money which is gutting.

Today of course, son is bounding around as if the last week never happened. He could, of course, go into decline again. Husband thinks I was too hasty in cancelling but I don't want to risk spreading this awful thing he's had.

Was I a bit OTT in cancelling the whole thing?

OP posts:

StayAChild · 27/10/2017 11:06

You did the right thing. You had to make a decision based on how your son was, not on how he might be in 48 hours.

My DD and family all had a sickness bug, the last one ending 5 days clear before they visited us. We all ended up with it within 48 hours.

Hope your son still has a nice birthday.

CatastropheKate · 27/10/2017 11:13

You did the right thing - I cancelled a party due to ds having sickness bug, by party day he was absolutely fine. However, DH & I caught it and were flat out/throwing up on party day and incapable of hosting fifteen 5 year olds at home.

We held it the following weekend instead.

littlebird77 · 27/10/2017 11:18

I had to do the same one year, you feel awful for them, but you can not go ahead.

Reschedule party for when he is better and treat him to an extra special present tomorrow for you

Bettercallsaul1 · 27/10/2017 11:18

You were absolutely right, OP, and, as everyone has said, acted very responsibly and fairly to other people. Even if your DS seems completely fine now, at the time you cancelled the party, it was undoubtedly the right decision as it would have been within the 48 hour restricted period. It sounds a very unpleasant bug and you may well have prevented lots of other children (and other members if their families) getting it.

sinceyouask · 27/10/2017 11:20

Yanbu at all.

KitKat1985 · 27/10/2017 11:27

You did the right thing. And to be honest I'd be mightily pissed if I took my DC to a party and found out the birthday child had been sick within 48 hours of the party.

fourandnomore · 27/10/2017 11:30

You did the right thing. My friend went ahead with her sick kid's party, he spent the party curled up on a chair poorly and my daughter was off school for 3 weeks with the really nasty virus he passed on to her and several other kids, it was awful. It went round loads of them and he was ill for days even after the party. If you explain to the venue they might let you move the date given the circumstances and your responsible attitude. Hope he continues to get well to enjoy his birthday celebrations.

Original poster

Twerking9to5 · 27/10/2017 14:26

Poor thing has just been sick again. That's 8 days on the trot. Been to docs twice but say it's likely viral.

OP posts:

Moanyoldcow · 27/10/2017 14:48

I had to cancel my son's 3rd birthday party on the morning because he was too ill.

I left it until last min because I hoped he'd improve but he didn't and I was stressed until I actually cancelled it. It's really disappointing but you absolutely did the right thing.

Poor little thing being so sick - it's so hard for them sometimes.

Crunchymum · 27/10/2017 16:31

I hope you feel vindicated OP.

It's not nice for your poor DS but at least you've done the responsible thing.

Some sickness bugs can have presentation like this. They don't all follow the same pattern. Hope he is on the mend soon.

TheCatsMother99 · 27/10/2017 16:41

You did the right thing and I'm sure the other parents will thank you for it.

KERALA1 · 27/10/2017 16:43

Everyone would hate you if you went ahead in those circumstances and people got sick - I'm not kidding. A friend still speaks with venom about an nct acquaintance who brought her baby to a meet up knowing he was unwell and infecting most of the women there, their babies and dhs this was 9 years ago!. Worth losing £60 to avoid being that family..

HandMini · 27/10/2017 17:04

You are v responsible, as well as NBU!
If your son is back on form you can stil have a fun day /cake / balloons and book the party in for another weekend.

WeeMadArthur · 27/10/2017 20:19

Four people in our family got D&V because someone didn’t cancel their child’s party although the parents were both still sick (child had had it earlier that week). Can I just say a huge thank you on behalf of all the people who won’t get the bug from your child because you were considerate enough to cancel.

BarbarianMum · 27/10/2017 20:27

Ds1's friend cancelled his b'day party last weekend due to a bug that sounds extremely similar. I was so grateful to his parents for not risking infecting us all - I have Crohns and really suffer when i catch a stomach bug.

Rachie1986 · 27/10/2017 20:35

Def correct decision - well done.

Hope your son is better soon x

Original poster

Twerking9to5 · 27/10/2017 21:32

Thanks so much all. Ended up with DS in a and e tonight as he seems in so much pain. Back in for further tests tomorrow but it's a bit of a worry. Hopefully it is just a virus of mean proportions.

Good news is, I've rescheduled. so the party will go on!

OP posts:

LondonGirl83 · 27/10/2017 22:14

You did the right thing

CheshireChat · 27/10/2017 23:46

Poor thing! Surely he should be nearly over it.

Has your DH eaten his words yet ?

Original poster

Twerking9to5 · 28/10/2017 06:54

Haha! DH has gone quiet about it....

OP posts:

Catsize · 28/10/2017 07:24

Sorry to hear that OP. Turns out you definitely did the right thing! It’s a shame not all parents are so responsible and are just selfish bastards about this kind of thing. Even when the kid is just a guest! Hope your son is okay.

Lovemusic33 · 28/10/2017 08:49

Hope your DS is ok and it's just a virus, dd had something similar when she was little, was told nuroviris, apparently it can last longer in some kids, dd1 had it for over a week (vomiting at night) then when the vomiting stoped then came the other end. Hope he's feeling better soon and then you can do something special for his birthday x

washingmachinefastwash · 28/10/2017 09:52

It’s more postponing of the party, can you re organise at a later date when your son is well?

I think you were right to postpone it. The sickness bug is awful. I hope your son makes a full recovery soon.

KERALA1 · 29/10/2017 07:56

Dd who is never ill started violently vomiting the night before her party. I emailed all parents to cancel but as was after school party they all wanted to go ahead as figured if the kids were going to get it would anyway as dd was in school that day as had been fine and party was their childcare. Worst party ever - dd went to bed I had to entertain 12 kids feeling increasingly ill myself.

Increasinglymiddleaged · 29/10/2017 09:21

I emailed all parents to cancel but as was after school party they all wanted to go ahead as figured if the kids were going to get it would anyway as dd was in school that day as had been fine and party was their childcare.

They need to read up on how bugs are passed on. You can't catch them prior to symptoms.

Ywnbu at all OP even if he wasn't such again. One of the biggest ways of noro being transmitted is actually through food so if the bug was in your house when you prepped it then it would be possible to pass it on that way.

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