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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to think the husband on eat well for less this week is a controlling arse?

37 replies

Graphista · 26/10/2017 21:15

Watching on catch up. The mum was basically doing 4 different meals every night as they were all so fussy but I think the daughters are following dads lead.

He scores the evening meal out of 10, at one point he told his wife she couldn't have any more chocolate (they'd only had a square each) and she just accepted it - I don't mean that as a criticism of the mum but suggested to me that she's quite conditioned to doing as she's told.

He came across as supercilious and over critical and slightly threatening.

Anyone else see this?

OP posts:
shakemysilliesout · 26/10/2017 21:22

I know what you mean, I think she worked quite few hrs and her kids weren't little and if boot was on other foot you would expect that person to do more domestic work. However, that does not condone criticism of the domestic work. I only accept feedback if I request it!!

Tinysarah1985 · 26/10/2017 21:33

Oh I was getting so annoyed with him! God if my OH ever judged my cooking out of 10, he would be wearing it!

champagneplanet · 26/10/2017 21:35

I wanted to put my foot through the TV when he was marking the meals out of ten! She tried to make it sound like it was lighthearted but he come across as a PITA!

The youngest DC was also mildly annoying.

sunshinel · 26/10/2017 21:44

I thought he was awful, he seemed so controlling and she seemed like she was desperately trying to please everyone but on the verge of cracking up! Giving marks out of 10?! What an arse, children sweet but might be influenced by their arse of a Dad!, did I say arse??!😬

SavageCabbage · 26/10/2017 21:51

I felt really sorry for her. They were all so unappreciative and she was dancing around their ridiculous whims. Buying him a pineapple a week.

And he was wearing red trousers.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 26/10/2017 21:54

I just thought she was in a rut with bad habits.didn't think owt sinister of her do

MrsKnightley · 26/10/2017 22:18

Started a thread in Chat on this. Fucking arse. And 2 men talking about involving the family while Dad didn’t even boil the kettle.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 26/10/2017 22:24

Her fault to an extent for being a doormat and indulging everyone else menu choices

PurpleDaisies · 26/10/2017 22:25

There are a lot of threads about this now. It’s really interesting that there was such a strong response to the programme.

MrsJamin · 26/10/2017 22:30

He was a dick. Why did she not point out to them that rating her meals out of 10 was really condescending? I was surprised how badly they ate, two tubs of ice cream a week for a family of four? All those sweets and chocolate? And she was pleased that the ketchup had less sugar in it, when you have a tablespoon at most?! It was an odd family indeed. I always wondered who bought premade packets of couscous, I never understood the point of it when couscous is just pour on boiling water?!

Cadenza1818 · 26/10/2017 22:30

Love the programme but found last night's episode hard viewing. Something not right there!

RadioGaGoo · 26/10/2017 22:31

She was so, so happy when they complimented her, it makes me think that they hardly ever do.

SunnySkiesSleepsintheMorning · 26/10/2017 22:32

Didn’t he also ban her from cooking something, mince was it?

PinkHeart5914 · 26/10/2017 22:34

I would of shoved his pineapple where the sun didn’t shine.

The scoring the dinner I cooked would of had him wearing it. If you don’t like it darling fucking cook your own!

You didn’t see him cook 1 meal the entire time, I know they said he works long hours and I understand that but surely he could of made the sodding breakfast at the weekend surely?

I loved the wife and she should LTB

OutToGetYou · 26/10/2017 22:47

I am out of the house same hours as him and I cook every night for myself. I didn't like him at all. He was judgemental.

redmarkone · 26/10/2017 22:48

i watched this just this evening too. spotted the controlling or "i'm in charge" husband within a few moments of him being on screen. the mum seemed lovely but that dad ...

does the £200 a week they spend only include food, not washing detergent, kitchen roll, loo roll or cleaning stuff?

im not feeling too bad now about us spending £125 on wine, cleaning stuff and food

Original poster
Graphista · 27/10/2017 00:10

"Her fault to an extent for being a doormat and indulging everyone else menu choices"

That smacks of victim blaming I genuinely think the poor woman is in an abusive relationship at the very least emotionally.

"Didn’t he also ban her from cooking something, mince was it?" Yes this is what particularly reminded me of my father, he used to ban mince from the house even though he was pissing money away on booze!

"You didn’t see him cook 1 meal the entire time, I know they said he works long hours and I understand that but surely he could of made the sodding breakfast at the weekend surely?" Exactly! He could do SOMETHING he seems type to want a 1950's marriage to a cowed wife.

She should DEFINITELY ltb her poor dds will end up in similar relationships

So glad I wasn't the only person to notice this. I'm really hoping someone that knows her supports her to ltb.

OP posts:
LipstickHandbagCoffee · 27/10/2017 00:51

I’m not victim blaming her. She had bad habits,was in a rut and running around trying and failing to meet a myriad of needs. She’s at fault for being stuck on domestic rut, with a husband and two teen daughters who observe mum skivvy about the place. She knew, they all knew it had to change, hopefully they’ll maintain the recommendations

Original poster
Graphista · 27/10/2017 01:06

Calling a woman cowed by a highly likely emotionally abusive husband is victim blaming in my eyes.

OP posts:
LipstickHandbagCoffee · 27/10/2017 01:17

And I’d say calling her cowed is hyperbole.youre adding your own highly skewed narrative
The point of programme is to find people with dysfunctional shopping/cooking behaviours, that require modification,and to alter their behaviour and habits
And in keeping with usual format of show they had a woman who was busily shopping and cooking 4 different meals
She was doormat for not actually saying you know what, you cook your own dinner
But again thats the format, get a harrased woman who skivvies about for everyone else, and ta-dah the show transform this into everyone else suddenly becomes competent and able to undertake tasks

gluteustothemaximus · 27/10/2017 01:29

Someone tweeted ‘if my husband scored my food out of 10 he would be on trip advisor scoring his hotel out of 5’

😂😂

Original poster
Graphista · 27/10/2017 01:54

My 'skewed perspective' is from almost 50 years of seeing exactly this dynamic not only in my parents marriage but in others too. I'd call that experience not hyperbole

OP posts:
SuperTrumper · 27/10/2017 07:28

Agree about the chocolate, mega controlling, yet it was ok for him to have a can of Guineas every night to “relax” Hmm

The youngest DD looked like she was feigning approval on half of the stuff

SuperTrumper · 27/10/2017 07:28

Guiness! Not guineas

maddiemookins16mum · 27/10/2017 07:31

I thought she was the grandmother and he her son at one point.
(The leftover beef 'stir fry' looked like mush).