To miss my old life?

[bemore]

New person here. Hi 👋🏻

Feel like I need some impartial input on my life. Maybe a kick up the arse, some sympathy, I'm not actually sure what really but I'm open to it all....

I recently, after a bit (a lot) of pressure from my Husband/Family, gave up a very well paid but hugely demanding/time consuming job. My kids are a bit older, both over 10, I've worked full time since they were both babies. Back then it was a necessity but laterally, I didn't need to do it, but I did.
I worked really hard in my career and was proud of what I'd achieved.
However, it got to the point our family life wasn't great, I was working super long hours, weekends, etc etc. If I needed time off though, I got it so I didn't really see the issue but it was causing problems.
My husband + immediate family basically pushed me into resigning.
I'm now at stay at home mum, but my kids are at school/have a good social life, my husband is now working all the hours under the sun as he is expanding his company {with some input and help from me} and I honestly don't know what to do with myself.
I miss my old life. And I feel guilty for that because everyone is now much happier apart from me....my husband doesn't want me to get another job, even though i have been offered a couple, I've turned them down.
I don't know how to feel about everything. I'm bored out my mind.
And I can't talk to anyone close because they think I'm being ridiculous. Even my own sister can't understand why I'm not happy!!!
Any words of advice Mumsnet?????
Am I being selfish?
Thanks!l

I can understand why you are frustrated, and I can also understand why your husband and family asked you to give up.

There is a middle line. A part time job. Or a job that requires 35 hours rather than 60+.

It is a HUGE problem in this country that it is so so difficult to find high paid part time roles. Part-time roles need to be available and a norm in all industries.

I agree with PP that a reduction in your long hours would help family life BUT we don't need me to work from a financial POV and DH will always earn lots more than me, yet I went back to work after 3 years because I was going stir crazy. I am much happier and more my own person again. You sound like you need to work.

It does sound as if something had to give in your family situation OP. I think you need to readjust tbh. You have been flat out for years and you've forgotten about all the other things you could be doing instead. Get fit, new hobbies, educate yourself. Time is a gift and you only get one life. That's how I see it.

My DH is always expanding businesses and taking in new stuff and he also (funnily enough) says we're all better off if I'm at home. I know your DCs are getting towards secondary age, but the teen years can be the biggest rollercoaster tbh and don't underestimate the support you can give, both emotionally and in terms if their education.

I would give it a year and if you really think SAHM is not for you, then reassess.

I also don't understand why you care what your sister or mother thinks? My sister has very strong ideas as to how I should live my life. I pay no attention - why would I?

but the teen years can be the biggest rollercoaster tbh and don't underestimate the support you can give, both emotionally and in terms if their education.

Very true - my mum took early retirement when I was in secondary school and it was great actually. I think I 'needed' her more than I did in primary.

I think give it a little bit and see how you go - take up a hobby, see friends, get lots of exercise, throw yourself into something worthwhile - charity trustee/PTA/magistrates etc (my mum threw herself into being a school guv (not my school)).

Thank you all so much for your comments, lots of wise words which have made me think about things.
I am missing my career a lot but I also don't think I've really given my "new life" a proper opportunity. I suppose I'm just feeling a bit lost at the moment as it's such a big change!!
You are all right that "something had to give" and if it had been my Husband + his business, then the repercussions would have been massive, which is probably why I agreed to give up my job.
I think the freelance route might be something I'll explore some more as that can be flexible.
Honestly, thanks for the replies, it's been good to get my feelings out + get some thoughts from some impartial people....