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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this Is ridiculous

26 replies

User700800 · 26/10/2017 13:21

My la are sending my son back to a residential college. He doesn't want to attend and who said they couldn't meet his needs. Because it's named on his ehcp they obviously have a duty to admit him back into this college. He's been bullied by staff and students leading to attempts on his own life. The other college we applied for him also a residential said they can't meet his mental health needs and he would need to high a level of support to be there. Now the la are sending him back to a college where he will be on a staff ratio of one to four so surely if they are saying this is okay they can override the other colleges decision. They have also said he needs to attend the placement until the appeal hearing.

OP posts:
Venusflytwat · 26/10/2017 13:23

So both colleges feel they can’t meet his needs?

What would you like to happen?

User700800 · 26/10/2017 13:37

I want him to be placed in the other college

OP posts:
DancesWithOtters · 26/10/2017 13:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

User700800 · 26/10/2017 13:46

Yes they can as it has to proved. They also said they could offer a day placement meaning they clearly can meet his needs

OP posts:
Venusflytwat · 26/10/2017 13:47

Ok.

Why do you want him to go to the other college if they also say they can’t meet his needs?

Just trying to flesh out what your root feelings are.

Is he autistic? Which of his needs are they both saying they can’t meet? Could he have a 1:1 put in place?

Why does he hate the first place so much and what do you think would be different at the other place?

DancesWithOtters · 26/10/2017 13:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

User700800 · 26/10/2017 14:00

Yes they are

OP posts:
MamaOfTwos · 26/10/2017 14:00

What are you son's issues and why can he not be in mainstream?

lemonsandlimes123 · 26/10/2017 14:13

Why do you want your son to be placed in a setting that has said it cannot meet his needs?

VladmirsPoutine · 26/10/2017 14:14

You seem to think everyone is shirking their responsibilities.

What behaviour is your son displaying? And indeed why can't he stay with you know... his mother?

Crunchymum · 26/10/2017 14:17

The LA are saying the college the OP wants can't meet her son's needs, yet sending him to another college that can't meet his needs either.

I guess the OP feels that if one college is OK in the LA's eyes then the the other should be too?

Crunchymum · 26/10/2017 14:19

Did everyone miss the bullying resulting in attempts on his own life in the first post?

User700800 · 26/10/2017 15:45

He not disaplying any behaviour he hasn't attempted sucide in six months.

OP posts:
User700800 · 26/10/2017 18:12

.

OP posts:
Venusflytwat · 27/10/2017 01:19

In the nicest possible way, you can’t simultaneously ask for a residential college, which is about as expensive as an educational placement gets, AND say he isn’t displaying any challenging behaviours.

He clearly does have very challenging behaviours, no LA is going to propose a residential placement unless they have to. It’s the difference between a placement costing 5-10k and one costing £100k.

They may feel School A can meet his needs with some additional support. They may agree an extra £10k for more 1:1. If School B is even more expensive then they won’t go for that unless the tribunal direct them.

With reference to the bullying stuff. This is obviously important. Was it ever documented? Do you have proof? And what did the bullying look like? If your son has behavioural difficulties to the extent that the LA are considering residential then I assume his behaviour must be pretty out of control. Is it possible that part of feeling bullied is about not being able to accept authority and discipline (which would then be the same problem anywhere) or are there specific documented incidents of unprofessional behaviour from staff? And if so, have you gone down the usual format complaint route (Headteacher, Gogerning body, OFSTED or equivalent?)

I’m not being mean. But if you’re going to ask the LA to shell out hundreds of thousands of pounds on this, you’ve got to have a pretty robust body of evidence as to what didn’t work at Setting A, what you did to try and make that work, and why Setting B would be any different.

I hope your son finds somewhere he can be happy Flowers

GetOutOfMYGarden · 27/10/2017 01:26

The other college isn't accepting him as a residential pupil OP. Time to scratch that option.

If he doesn't want the first residential college, is there any third residential college that can meet his needs? The council has one shot financially to get this decision right and you need to do your best to help them with that.

User700800 · 27/10/2017 08:32

He's got asd and some mental health problems

OP posts:
Venusflytwat · 27/10/2017 10:50

Ok. Well you’re not really engaging with this conversation so I’m not going to keep going with it but I wish you both well :)

WhatwouldAryado · 27/10/2017 10:57

I used to work completing needs assessments by summarising the multi disciplinary work that gets undertaken to decide if a college can support a student.
They really mean it. Certainly in the environment I worked in. They want students to flourish.
Residential college life is very demanding emotionally.

Appuskidu · 27/10/2017 11:00

If you ask for help on an extremely specific issue and only answer questions with one sentence replies, the help you receive will be very limited or non-existent.

VladmirsPoutine · 27/10/2017 11:06

He's got asd and some mental health problems

I feel this isn't the whole story. I of course hope it does work out for you but ASD and presenting with mental health problems are not grounds for rejection. There must be further behaviour which you are either refusing to admit or reluctant to accept. Either way, I wish you both well.

Emily7708 · 27/10/2017 11:09

Accept the day placement at the college you want. Then request a residential placement when he has settled in and everyone has been able to assess his needs.

User700800 · 27/10/2017 21:32

The la won't agree to the day placement so unfortunately that's not something we can do.

OP posts:
Emily7708 · 28/10/2017 00:46

Have you been in touch with IPSEA? If not, book an appointment with them as soon as possible and they will help you sort out this situation.

www.ipsea.org.uk/home

User700800 · 28/10/2017 18:38

No but I plan to be thank you

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