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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Driving lessons & breastfeeding

86 replies

PeppersTheCat · 26/10/2017 11:00

Are driving lessons all 2 hours long these days?? I'm breastfeeding my 2 month old and was very excited to pay for and book my first driving lessons. However when I phoned to arrange my first lesson, the company "Pass & Go" said that lessons were 2 hours long and this was non-negotiable. They didn't care that I was breastfeeding. I told them I couldn't be away from baby for 2 hours and expected lessons would be 1 hour. They didn't care. In the end I had to ask for a refund (they charged me £10 to refund). AIBU to be upset? :( I can't express very well. Does this mean I can't learn to drive until baby is weaned?

OP posts:
Babbitywabbit · 26/10/2017 11:38

Yes- Can you send a link? It seems odd that it’s not mentioned. Presumably their rate is pretty good if it didn’t jump out at you as being hugely expensive, and you assumed you’d just get an hour.

At the end of the day, you booked it, and you have several choices:

  • cancel and go elsewhere for short lessons
  • go ahead and ask for a one hour lesson but accept they won’t refund you
  • feed your child immediately before and after
  • ask to postpone your lessons until you don’t need to feed as frequently
  • get your child used to bottle as well as breast and express

So plenty of options really. What driving school is this?

mindutopia · 26/10/2017 11:39

I think mine were 2 hours. It's hard to drive from where some people live to areas where you need to practice (you practice where you'll be expected to test so you know the roads well), get in some solid time, and back in an hour. I live about 20 minutes from town, so by the time they pick you up and you drive there, nearly half the lesson would be gone. So it makes sense that's 2 hours and the experience overall will likely be better for you if you don't rush.

But I think just calm down and take your time. Your baby is so little yet. Driving lessons aren't really the most important thing right now, and things will be much easier in a month or two, so I would just book for then. That said, assuming feeding is otherwise going well, you can just leave some expressed milk and baby will be fine. We went out to lunch for 2 hours when mine was only 6 weeks leaving some milk with grandma and all was perfectly fine. But I really would just wait until later when things are easier, which they will be. I personally would not have wanted to be doing driving lessons at only 8 weeks pp! I could barely make it out of the house clothed at that stage and even as a confident driver (I'd had my license about 2 years at that point), I was too exhausted and it would have been really stressful and overwhelming.

agentdaisy · 26/10/2017 11:40

Where I am you can have 1 or 2 hour lessons.

I found 2 hour lessons were much better as with the 1 hour lessons I'd just be getting the hang or something eg reversing and the time would be up and I'd spend the first half of the next lesson getting back to where I left off.

If you want 1 hour lessons then ring a few companies in your area and ask them before paying anything.

It's their business model and is absolutely not sexual discrimination. Calling it this makes it harder for true instances of sexual discrimination to be taken seriously.

alldaysleeper · 26/10/2017 11:43

My instructor wouldn't do two hour lessons as he thought 1.5 hours was max concentration wise. We stuck to an hour as I found 1.5 a bit too much. I took 2 hour long lessons a week, passed first time, the whole experience felt quite stress free

Babbitywabbit · 26/10/2017 11:44

Btw your mention of sex discrimination is nonsense, and this sort of thing pisses me off a bit because it detracts from genuine cases of discrimination

There could potentially be plenty of reasons why a 2 hour lesson might not suit people- work commitments, lessons for school kids or college students, not having access to a baby sitter for 2 hours... so potentially Anyone of any gender could have been caught unawares by this rule

It does seem as though it’s a good rate though, because you were quite happy to pay for what you thought was half the time. Please post a link!

afishnotabird · 26/10/2017 11:46

Pass n go offer 7, 15, 25 and 35 hour packages, how are they supposed to honour the odd number?

IslandNiles · 26/10/2017 11:47

Oh ffs.

I knew you were angling at discrimination from your OP.

flumpybear · 26/10/2017 11:47

You can’t expect them to change their policies just because you’re bf - why the hell didn’t you phone them first and enquire - or just ask them to drop you off home after say 1.5 hours? You can express? The rest of the world doesnt have to revolve itself around you and your need to bf

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 26/10/2017 11:49

Island

Spot on.

IfYouGoDownToTheWoodsToday · 26/10/2017 11:49

"I feel what has happened is sexual discrimination. Men don't have boobs. They haven't got to worry about this."

Your just being daft now. (Blame it on your hormones Wink)

Many people, including my DD, have issues which mean they can't concentrate for 2 hours, when they first start learning to drive.
It has nothing whats so ever, to do with beast feeding.

1.Phone driving school.
2.Ask if they do one hour sessions.
3.If answer is yes, book.
4.If answer is no, say are you sure, I will take my business elsewhere. 5.If they say no again, then restart No 1.

IfYouGoDownToTheWoodsToday · 26/10/2017 11:49

*breast NOT beast Grin

SpareASquare · 26/10/2017 11:50

Surely you can feed before you go and then feed when you get back if you have to? Leave some EBM if it makes you feel better.

I couldn't imagine not being able to leave for 2 hours tbh.

WomblingThree · 26/10/2017 11:51

You only find out after you’ve paid? Did it not occur to you to email and ask them?? You are slightly deluded if you think they would change their entire business model for one person. Honestly, breastfeeding does not make you special. Lots of people do it and manage to fit their lives round it without expecting special treatment.

IslandNiles · 26/10/2017 11:53

Honestly, breastfeeding does not make you special. Lots of people do it and manage to fit their lives round it without expecting special treatment.

This.

IfYouGoDownToTheWoodsToday · 26/10/2017 11:54

Square I wouldn't have been happy leaving my 2 month old EBF baby for two hours, for a driving lesson. I'd be worried we'd get caught in a traffic jam and at that age, they can feed more often than 2 hourly. Or was that just mine?Hmm

Chathamhouserules · 26/10/2017 11:54

But loads of things last for two hours (or so) that could potentially be shorter and its not sexual discrimination if they don't offer a shorter version. That's ridiculous. Like a theatre show - they could offer it over two nights so that breastfeeding mothers can go. Or an exam - should a uni offer the option for breastfeeding mothers of taking it in two parts?Just choose a school that offers 1 hour lessons.

Gileswithachainsaw · 26/10/2017 11:55

Someone being daft enough to sign up for something whilst missing half the information, without speaking to anyone Is it their fault.

They are guilty of poor website. Maybe even a misleading web site but they aren't guilty of discrimination.

Never ever sign up for a block without having a few individual lessons first you might not get on with the instructor.

Alot of babies manage 2 hours between feeds, if yours doesn't then 'll the nore reason to make sure your lessons would suit you.

messyjessy17 · 26/10/2017 11:56

My problem is that their website does NOT state how long lessons are. You only learn about this AFTER you have paid

Only if you couldn't be arsed to phone, email or even livechat them to ask the very simple question: how long are your lessons. Anyone with a bit of cop on would have found out before paying. You didn't bother.

I feel what has happened is sexual discrimination

Don't be a div. You couldn't be bothered to find out what you were booking. Your breasts have nothing to do with that Hmm

afishnotabird · 26/10/2017 11:57

I was YABU but, having too much time on my hands, I went onto the website and there is no information about the lessons until you have purchased a block. When the majority of schools do hourly lessons, YANBU to assume that, if it is not stated on the site.

I don't think it's discrimination but I'd probably use that to try and get the £10 back.

HappyFeetAgain · 26/10/2017 11:58

You are ridiculous really. Feed before and after. Many people do this and get on with it. Sounds like you want to cause a drama over this.

Viviennemary · 26/10/2017 11:59

Most driving schools offer hourly lessons. But a two hour lesson for a first lesson is not uncommon. YABU and a bit silly. Surely the two hour slot was explained to you before you paid.

FlowerPot1234 · 26/10/2017 12:02

PeppersTheCat
My problem is that their website does NOT state how long lessons are. You only learn about this AFTER you have paid.
I feel what has happened is sexual discrimination.

Shock No, a company that doesn't change its product to suit you is not guilty of sexual discrimination.

The company you chose to approach specialises in intensive driving programmes. Usually when things are intensive, they increase the intensity into a shorter space of time. Therefore hourly weekly lessons are likely to be compressed into 2 hour or more regular lessons. This, of course, would be one of the first things one checks when about to book a lesson before you hand over the money.

The website gives a phone number to contact where you could have verified this. That you failed to check the product you bought and the company hasn't moved heaven and earth to change their schedules which are built on 2 hourly lessons, and inconvenience and possibly financially penalise the franchised instructor who would have to make a trip just to have an hour's lesson with you and not the 2 hour lesson they are set up to run, is not their fault.

How about you look for a company that offers the product you want, and check that they do before you buy it? Hmm

TonicAndTonic · 26/10/2017 12:02

Try an independent instructor rather than a big driving school, they will probably be able to be more flexible if you explain your situation. I had 90-minute driving lessons, I think they will want you to have at least some that are longer than an hour, especially later on, to give you time to get out to a variety of roads. You need to be able to practise all the test routes used by your local driving test centre, so if you live far away from it, you will need longer lessons to practise those routes. But an independent instructor might let you have 1 hr lessons to start with until you LO is a bit older.

Misspollyhadadollie · 26/10/2017 12:02

I haven't left my 5 month old for any time at all. It's not that difficult. But I'm sure the op is just a joke now tbh as who pays for lessons without knowing any details. And then says it's discrimination?! Cant take that seriously sorry

Babbitywabbit · 26/10/2017 12:03

The OP is that woman. The one who gives birth and thinks the entire universe should shift on its axis in recognition.