AIBU to think you don't do favours for your ex?

[NoFuckingWay]

Apart from child related ones.

My ex and I have a horrific history. He has been so abusive that me and the children previously had to live in a refuge for a year just to get free of him. Now after a long legal process he has been granted time with them every other weekend for which I do drop offs and picks up from a public place (because the thought of him standing on my doorstep scares the shit out of me).

We have recently agreed that he will take the children out for tea midweek and again drop offs and pick ups are going ok generally. He hasn't tried to intimidate me and I am becoming less nervous around him. This apparently means we're practically best mates and he's asked me if I could do him a favour and go to the chemist to pick up some medication he gets on prescription. I was very much wtf?! And eventually managed to splutter "no I don't think that's appropriate do you?" He seemed shocked and clearly wasn't happy.

In recent weeks he's sent me a YouTube link to a song that is "really beautiful" offered to babysit for me "whenever" and enquired on my health (longterm condition) he didn't give a fuck when we were a couple and he was violent towards me

I guess I'm wondering do people do favours like this for an ex? Is it normal? Is that why he asked me because he thinks it's normal or is he trying to play me? I don't think I was unreasonable to say no to him. We are not and never can be friends not ever.

Sorry this is long btw I didn't want to dripfeed and hope I haven't.

No, never when you've split up because of abuse.

Has he split up with a girlfriend recently ?

He is stepping over boundaries deliberately - and boy would he love to get off on having you serve him again.

next time he asks you a favour in front of your children say "text me about it later" and then refuse by text. Alternatively, is there anyone who would do the drop off/pick ups for you.

He is deliberately trying to blur boundaries, get you under control. It must be driving him crazy that you are moving on.

People can have a good relationship with their ex and do each other favours.

But that's not something you should get into with a controlling abuse ex. Keep things civil and focused on the DC. You certainly don't owe him any favours and don't let him do you any either

I try so hard to not let him in my head and doubt myself and I am getting better but old habits die hard it seems.

I would never ever take a favour from him. When he offered to babysit I was so shocked I couldn't even respond but I also knew it will never ever happen. Anyway they are his children too. You don't babysit your own children

I don't know if he's split up with a girlfriend recently but he has dropped into conversation with our eldest today that he has a girlfriend. Assuming she exists poor woman. I cut every single one of his friends and family members out of my life along with him. I did the same with any mutual friends who said "I don't wanna pick sides/get involved" nothing personal against them but I wanted to make a clean break and not hear anything about him. And I was advised to anyway by the wonderful women at women's aid.

DS1's Dad and I would do favours for one another because we get on well. In your shoes you absolutely mustn't let him overstep any of the barriers you've put up because the history suggests he'll use it to his own advantage. Keep firm and formal.

Sadly pallisers there isn't anyone who will/can do hand over for me it is just me. He took me away from all my family and friends hundreds of miles away in fact. I have friends now but no one id feel comfortable asking such a big favour of.

I will tell him to text me next time about it I think I was just so surprised that he would ask me that I was a bit blindsided. I shouldn't be surprised by anything though I suppose. Hopefully he will get bored soon enough if I give him no attention and back off.

You are so right to be suspicious OP. Don't get drawn in by his manipulations.
You gut instinct is right that it is a very bad idea to let him anywhere near your home/life.