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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to distance myself from this acquintance?

13 replies

QuestionforQuentin · 25/10/2017 14:51

I've recently met a local business woman, through mutual friends. I like her a lot and we share similar interests.

She's very interested in my business and seems genuinely supportive of it and therefore me, which I am very grateful for.

However, she is contacting me at least once a day with ideas on how we can work together for mutual benefit to our businesses. Good at first, but now I'm feeling a bit hassled by it.

So as not to dripfeed, our circumstances are different. Her children have grown-up and flown the nest. My children are primary-aged. Her business is her sole source of income, whereas mine is a like a hobby which generates a little bit of profit, and I have another, main job.

I mention that because she has more time and head space to dedicate to her work. This is perhaps while I'm feeling a bit swamped by her communications and stream of entrepreneurial ideas.

So, I'm thinking of delicately distancing myself from her, although not sure how to, as she texts and messages me on Facebook. AIBU though? Should I be supporting a local, kind and thoughtful woman with a good business?

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 25/10/2017 14:55

Why can't you simply thank her for her interest but explain that you aren't on the same page regarding business development?

Mxyzptlk · 25/10/2017 14:56

Thank her and tell her you want to keep your business small for now, as that's what suits you.

QuestionforQuentin · 25/10/2017 14:58

Thanks.

I suppose the difficulty is because she's very, very friendly. Her messages are full of kisses and she's offering all sorts to help my business.

I'm worried I'll appear ungrateful and hurt her feelings.

Right, I've got to tell her straight.

OP posts:
KeepServingTheDrinks · 25/10/2017 15:00

Presumably, it's to help her business as well?

SuperPug · 25/10/2017 15:01

Is she MLM?

CardsforKittens · 25/10/2017 15:16

Business is business - you shouldn't need to worry about her feelings, especially as she isn't actually involved in your business! Just tell her straight that you're happy with your current business model. If she gets upset, that's her choice. A reasonable person will respond with "Oh, ok then" and back off with the business suggestions but remain friendly about other stuff. Any other response is unreasonable and can be ignored.

Papafran · 25/10/2017 15:32

If she's sending kisses she is obviously not a serious businesswoman. I was also going to guess at some sort of MLM and she wants to do joint Younique/Herbalife parties.

Hollowgrams · 25/10/2017 15:35

I think it'd be ok to just let her know you don't have the time for that kind of business development at the minute but would still like to be friends.

Hollowgrams · 25/10/2017 15:36

unless it is some MLM type thing - in which case that's likely to be difficult as she'll probably keep pressuring you.

Smellyrose · 25/10/2017 19:06

I couldn’t take any business person seriously if they filled their email with kisses. As others have asked, is it MLM.?

whoareyoukidding · 25/10/2017 19:08

I don't know what MLM means, but it occurs to me that she might be wanting to take over your business and is schmoozing you. (Sorry if that's what MLM means)

NameChangeFamousFolk · 25/10/2017 19:11

All the xxx's and super-friendliness sounds a bit manipulative/schmoozy to me.

As others have said, just say, 'I haven't got time right now, I'll get back to you if I want to take you up on any of your fab ideas in the future.'

Papafran · 25/10/2017 22:16

MLM is pyramid selling basically. So constantly trying to recruit others so that you can get a cut of their profits. Popular MLMs are Younique, Forever Living, Juice Plus, some candle shite, Herbalife, slimming coffee and many many more. They're all a fat con and their reps always use language like 'babe' and 'hun' and put three million kisses at the end of each message, even if they have never met you.

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