Neighbour is feeding her coeliac child gluten

[getonthearkunicorn]

More of a, 'wwyd'?
My Neighbour, who I see a lot (children are the same age, I often watch her children not always willingly )
Her DS is nearly 5 and still not potty trained, I've drawn up charts for her and given her tips (she sometimes struggles with him as she is pregnant and has a 1 year old) but she didn't keep up with it. She'd get very upset when he'd have an accident and place him back in a nappy.
However, she has told me that she's told consultants that he cannot feel when he needs to poo, however I have seen him ask her or partner to use the toilet, and they've not reacted quick enough. In my care, he runs and hides whilst doing a poo - so he definitely knows it's coming.
My heart breaks for him as he is being called 'smelly' at school.
Newest worry is that the consultant has ruled out Crohn's disease in her DS (he is very under weight) and speculates it is coeliac. She has been given the advice to start the gluten free diet immediately until he has his appointment next month (this was over a week ago)
He has eaten pasta, McDonald's, cakes, etc. I had him one morning so she could attend a midwife appointment, and made sure we had gluten free pancakes for him. She said 'you shouldn't of bothered, I haven't'
I keep gently saying to her that it's really important she follows their advice. But I don't want to patronise her, I know she finds it tough.
He's had 9 days off school already :( (obviously it's half term now)
I'm planning to cut down the amount of time I see her, as I find it very frustrating that she doesn't take his issues seriously. There are other reasons too but unrelated. It's also made difficult by my DP being good friends with her DP.
So what would you do? Should I just be butting out? It makes me worry though!

Please, please contact school with your concerns OP. Doesn't sound like things will get better for this little boy if support and intervention are not put in place....

Flora the op mentioned it in a later post with a name change fail.

Ok thanks I missed that . Then she's obviously a bit thick or wants him to be ill . Perhaps you could advise her that there are reasonable alternatives to most junky type foods . Gf pasta is fine ( we all have it here) , takeaways like Pizza Hut / dominos do GF pizza , Macdonalds burgers / chips / hash browns are Gf as long as you don't have the bun . Gf chicken nuggets are edible as are fish fingers / scampi etc its just more expensive . Many better quality sausages / supermarket meatballs are GF and there is a good range of GF cakes / cereals etc if that is the type of stuff she wants to feed her children . Someone needs to explain to her that continuing to eat gluten can lead to cancer , whether that person is you seems a bit unreasonable for you as it should be coming from a health care professional. Has her partner got any more sense and perhaps you could tell him .

Suggesting that a celiac eat McDonald's minus the bun, gf dominos pizza is really irresponsible. That is a nightmare of cross contamination.

If someone preparing food touches gluten, or uses utensils on gluteney food, then gf food, that gf food is contaminated.

I guess it doesn't matter to hipster poseurs, but to a celiac it really does matter. Dominos say itsit's not suitable for celiacs, same oven, glutened hands making the pizza etc.

Well my dd has both occasionally like most young adults who want to grab a snack when out and her blood tests have always come back at a completely satisfactory level so I will just leave her alone I think . Cross contamination could occur in any restaurant , do you suggest coeliacs never eat out on the off chance of being glutenised ?

They don’t always biopsy kids sometimes they just tell you to change their diet x

Having just checked both dominos and Pizza Hut are accredited by Coeliac UK actually .

My coeliac ds manages with gluten free dominos pizza and McDonald’s minus the bun just fine, so maybe you have been unlucky Lakesandtrees. We have always found they are very good about swapping utensils etc.

Feeling like eating out is no reason to risk long term health.

Im not a "silent" celiac, so a cross contaminated "gf" pizza makes me feel very unwell. Silent damage is still damage.

It sucks, its miserable, but a half assed gf diet is no use at all.

As such, pizza made with Domino's® Gluten Free Crust is not recommended for customers with celiac disease. ...from dominos themselves...

Another perspective... regarding the child off school. Does he attend a private school ? Private schools usually have longer holidays than state schools.

Like Floralnomad my ds also always has excellent blood results and has been ill following cross contamination in other situations so I’m pretty certain that he isn’t suffering silent damage. I wonder if you are not in the UK (based on the spelling for coeliac) and that is why things are different. If Coeliac UK are giving accreditation it means they have had training on cross contamination.

Well coeliac UK disagree with them , we will have to agree to differ as I don't consider that my dd is in anyway managing her coeliacs in a half assed way . Personally I can't imagine never going out to eat , how do you go on holiday or anything .

Being diagnosed with celiacs disease was awful for me. I had to change the way I ate and fed my family. It's expensive, generally doesn't taste great if you are looking for gf versions of gluten filled foods, and means eating out is virtually impossible unless it's a gf restaurant or bakery. Unless I want to feel very unwell. Thats my choice if I take risks. Poor kiddo is stuck with an unintelligent mother, who cannot fulfill his needs. Im the last one to say report, but she needs a kick up the ass.

Anyone in charge of feeding a child with celiacs should be willing to enforce the diet and avoid cross contamination.

Its It's common sense. That fake gf pizza is cooked in an oven with other gluteney pizza, prepared on a surface which has been glutened, glutened gloved hands dip repeatedly into pots of toppings. Washing hands in a dominos kitchen, before preparing pizza for a celiac is not enough.

Pizza hut go further, but only their pepperoni pizza is ok. I wouldnt risk it. Let alone removing buns from burgers! It can cause cancer, you really should take it more seriously.

Vacations? We camp. No eating out for me, I want to stick around a while. Unfortunately I have to sacrifice certain things to do that.

Gluten isn't like nuts. A trace amount is not going to cause problems.

Im not sure why where I am matters.

Training in cross contamination isnt going to make a dominos safe for a celiac.

I honestly cant believe any mother would risk their childs health because they don't want to sacrifice eating out.

That is absolute crap.

Trace amounts do cause reactions and are not safe to consume. If it was the mothers shitting liquid, with cramps, rashes, im sure they woukd be more careful.

I’m a celiac. I eat Dominoes. I’ve never been “glutened” by them.

I do everywhere else though 🙄

You don't remove the buns , you tell them you are coeliac and they put the burgers in a box with no bun , don't be ridiculous . In the county I live ( SE England) there are 2 completely GF restaurants neither of which really cater for teens on a night out ( one is a pub) . Being a coeliac is restrictive enough , although it's improved vastly in recent years without being a social outcast in your late teens as well .Camping would be my dds worst nightmare .

Lakes where you're from does matter, as different countries have different regulations regarding food safety and labelling. If a restaurant has that sort of accreditation then I'm pretty sure there would be separate ovens used and no cross contamination. Big food chains regulations and even recipes vary in different countries, for example in America McNuggets contain milk but in the UK they do not (my DS has CMPA).

Also , this does not sound like a mother who is going to put in that much effort in which case a risk of cross contamination is definitely better than just feeding him stuff that is actually made with gluten . I doubt even her kitchen is safe for him .

Floral, being celiac is restrictive. Suffering stomach cancer even more so.

Don't be ridiculous, dominos dont have separate ovens for the few gluten free orders, they don't even have separate pans.

Its desperately sad when people put convenience over their childs long term health.

It's not about convenience it's about a young person having a life and if you can't see why an older teen wants to be able to join in with their mates whilst still be as careful as they can then I think that is very narrow minded . If you care to live in your overly restrictive bubble that may work for you , it doesn't work for everybody .

Floral, the risks are too high. Im very sorry your daughter had celiacs. Your attitude towards it may well be immensely damaging in the long term. Do you have a specialist you can talk to about things, and who may be able to explain better the risks?

Aren't there different levels of coeliac disease though? I have a close relation who was recently diagnosed (they are over 60). He is able to tolerate traces of gluten and is easily able to eat out without much difficulty if he is careful and sticks to salads etc. I also have a friend who ends up in hospital if they eat any gluten, and has to be scrupulously careful about cross contamination, so she doesn't eat out much. I just assumed some people have it worse than others.