Uncle's wedding and pregnancy

[orionpie]

Name changed for this . I possibly am being unreasonable but would like some one else’s perspective.

Basically my uncle (mum’s brother) is getting married for the third time in two weeks time . I’m due in one week but all of my other three kids were born at 41 weeks exactly . The wedding was a last minute deal and only booked four months ago . It’s a weekend type event where everyone will be staying for the weekend .
I’m a lone parent - husband left for OW in early pregnancy and hasn’t bothered with the kids since . The only support I have are my grandparents and my parents . I was relying on my parents (they offered) to look after my younger three when I go into labour , my last baby was an emcs so there’s a higher possibility that this one will be too . But today I’ve been told that if I go into labour the days before / the day of or anytime during the wedding weekend then nobody will be available to watch them and my gran who was going to be my birth partner also won’t be doing that .

I know I probably am being unreasonable but I literally have nobody now to look after my kids should I need it and I’ll be giving birth , possibly having a csection on my own . I have no money for a babysitter and definitely no money for a doula . What happens in this sort of situation where there’s genuinely NOBODY who could have the kids ? Can they go to the hospital with me? The middle child has sensory issues and wouldn’t be able to deal with a stranger even if I could afford a babysitter !

Aibu to feel like I’ve been let down a bit ?

[orionpie]

My sisters MIL has said she will do it and my sister has sent me her number so I can call her later to go over the details !

Thank you for all the suggestions , it seems I was panicking over nothing . I don’t know where I’d be without my sister

[Eliza9917]

That is fucking shocking. Truly unbelievable.

I would make other arrangements, do it all by myself and then cut them all off after too. Even if the baby came before/after the wedding, no chance on earth they would be seeing my kids. Their behaviour really is despicable.

[Kintan]

That's great news! Hope your parents realise what utter a-holes they have been. Hope everything goes well with the birth :)

[WinteryWalk]

Oh that’s great news, I’m so sorry for such a rubbish situation though

[User843022]

Yes I know it is major surgery I just thought they tended to recommend it when previous cs but of course up to you.
Why have your family sprung it on you now though when the wedding was booked 4mths ago?

Glad your dsis mil can help out. Your parents have behaved atrociously. Good luck .

[orionpie]

Myrtle I think it’s just occurred to them that I could still be pregnant . They offered way back when my husband left to do it .
I’m so relieved I have someone though !

[MamaOfTwos]

Good luck with your birth OP, and fingers crossed your massive cunt of an ex is found so he can face his financial responsibility

[troodiedoo]

Hope everything works out for you OP. Sorry your husband and family are sub standard.

[LittleMyLikesSnuffkin]

Ahh your sister and her MIL have come through for you in the end that's great! Shame about the rest of your family.

Btw when I mentioned foster care before it wasn't meant to scare you! The ones I know are lovely people and your children would have been fine with them. Best wishes and really hope you can avoid a CS. I have a child with ASD and zero family support so I'd be the same as you wanting to avoid a longer recovery.

[PandorasXbox]

I’m glad your sister has your back. Hopefully you won’t need to ask your sisters MIL but at least you know she’s on hand if you do.

[bonnymnemonic]

I appreciate it may not be what you want, but given you have had EMCS before, you could ask for an ECS on or before your due date, which would presumably mean your family would be available to offer support?

[GreenFingersWouldBeHandy]

for your sister, for her MIL and for you too, OP.

Sorry your parents are so selfish! Hope all goes well for you.

[Scoobygang7]

That sounds good @orionpie I am not too far from rothbury. I've pm'd you.

[HunterHearstHelmsley]

Thank God for your sisters MIL! Shame on your family though.

[VladmirsPoutine]

Orion, I really wish nothing but the best for you.

[BadPolicy]

for you and your lovely sister. I hope it goes well.

[bonnymnemonic]

Sorry, phone hadn't loaded all the latest messages when I posted.

Glad your sister and her MIL have you covered. Good luck!

[Redcrayons]

You're definitely not panicking over nothing!
Glad you've got a decent plan B.
I don't think I could ever get past my parents letting me down like that.

[Mix56]

I would call the PIL, no actually I wold go round, not so easy as putting the phone down. & tell them the dilemma, surely they can help or contact your bastard XH.
These people are a disgrace.

[Mix56]

whoops, missed update. but would do it anyway. these children are their flesh & blood

[Inertia]

Sister's MIL sounds great- what a shame your own family and your own in-laws are so appallingly selfish.

I'd still mention it to midwife, just in case your sister's MIL isn't available.

[LittleMyLikesSnuffkin]

Ahh your sister and her MIL have come through for you in the end that's great! Shame about the rest of your family.

Btw when I mentioned foster care before it wasn't meant to scare you! The ones I know are lovely people and your children would have been fine with them. Best wishes and really hope you can avoid a CS. I have a child with ASD and zero family support so I'd be the same as you wanting to avoid a longer recovery.

[JaneEyre70]

Just seconding about what others have said about foster care, I know some people who do it and they are amazing. They often get kids of single parents who have to go into hospital for something, and the kids are so well looked after. It also takes the stress of worrying about family being reliable, so don't be scared of using that as an option. Your family sound very unhelpful OP, I'd be at my DDs side and glued to it in your situation.

[SchadenfreudePersonified]

it seems I was panicking over nothing

On the contrary Pie - you were being very sensible. The baby's arrival on/near that date is a real possibility and you wanted to make arrangements to ensure your other children were looked after.

That is being a good mother.

I'm surprised that everyone is so keen to go to your uncle's wedding. Presumably they have been to the first two and will no doubt get the chance to go to a few more.

[orionpie]

I’m not scared of using foster care , I would have asked mw to refer me to social services if I wasn’t able to sort anything :) thanks again for all the advice