Uncle's wedding and pregnancy

[orionpie]

Name changed for this . I possibly am being unreasonable but would like some one else’s perspective.

Basically my uncle (mum’s brother) is getting married for the third time in two weeks time . I’m due in one week but all of my other three kids were born at 41 weeks exactly . The wedding was a last minute deal and only booked four months ago . It’s a weekend type event where everyone will be staying for the weekend .
I’m a lone parent - husband left for OW in early pregnancy and hasn’t bothered with the kids since . The only support I have are my grandparents and my parents . I was relying on my parents (they offered) to look after my younger three when I go into labour , my last baby was an emcs so there’s a higher possibility that this one will be too . But today I’ve been told that if I go into labour the days before / the day of or anytime during the wedding weekend then nobody will be available to watch them and my gran who was going to be my birth partner also won’t be doing that .

I know I probably am being unreasonable but I literally have nobody now to look after my kids should I need it and I’ll be giving birth , possibly having a csection on my own . I have no money for a babysitter and definitely no money for a doula . What happens in this sort of situation where there’s genuinely NOBODY who could have the kids ? Can they go to the hospital with me? The middle child has sensory issues and wouldn’t be able to deal with a stranger even if I could afford a babysitter !

Aibu to feel like I’ve been let down a bit ?

[SchadenfreudePersonified]

I hope you'll come back to update us on
a) how the wedding weekend went - all new baby, or all calm and gentle

b) when you have your baby, whether it's a boy or a girl, and which honorary grandparent you are calling the little love after (just kidding! there are some awful names out therein much as I loved my mam I wouldn't have called my DD after her)

Hope all goes wonderfully for you.

[Stressalot42]

Oh OP, do your parents not realise that this won’t end here? That you’ll be let down for ever!

I mean if it were one of mine I’d promised something to then that comes first. Not I’ve had a better offer.

Glad your sister is angry with them.

You’ve had a hard enough time already.


And yay for DS Mil, great people in the world.

Good luck I and be sure to come back and tell us all about New baby.

And your exH is a shit.

[mynameisnotmichaelcaine]

Brilliant news. Best of luck for the birth OP.

[emmyrose2000]

Your sister's MIL is a winner!

Your actual family though are absolutely disgusting. This would make me cut them off permanently. It's stunning that they'd prefer to see their grandkids in foster care (worst case scenario) just to attend somebody's third wedding.

As for your ex and his family - my thoughts on them are totally unprintable.

[Taylor22]

I'm so so sorry Op.
I'm usually the first to tell posters not to be so entitled to others time but this is just disgraceful on your families part.
Of course they don't have to do it but how can they face you after telling you this?

Will they still expect to be welcomed into your home to fawn over your newborn and play the Grandparents of the years?

I'd really struggle to let them through my door for a long time.

[KenAdams]

They sound so lovely OP. I'm glad your sister stepped up when the rest of your family didn't. They should be ashamed of themselves.

[myrtleWilson]

yay to DSis and her Mil! best wishes to you and baby

[Stinkbomb]

What a fantastic response from your Dsis’s MIL, that’s what family is all about, good luck xxx

[Madwoman5]

X posted. What a lovely lady. Good for you that you have that support.

[Stinkbomb]

So sorry, hadn’t rtft- so pleased you’ve managed to get something sorted out, can’t believe your family though xx

[TitaniasCloset]

Your family are so selfish and your dc father is beyond the pale.

Thank God for your ds and her mil! I hope you are ok OP, I hope you get better people in your life after this

[Stinkbomb]

Where in the Coubtry are you?

[MrsPinkCock]

Jesus. Your exH is a prize cunt. Your family are selfish arseholes.

Your sisters MIL is lovely to offer her help.

Have you got a birthing partner?

I can’t imagine how stressful this has been. I’m not sure I could forgive my family if they did that to me, TBH.

[Madwoman5]

Assuming you have his parent's address, I would be driving them over there at the first labour pain. On the other hand, the temptation to drop the kids at the wedding venue on the way to hospital with bags packed for your family to look after would probably win out for me. Child free wedding or not. Some things are just non negotiable. No discussion, here you go. I am off to give birth. The embarrassment and judgement of the other guests will shame them even if you can't.

[kateandme]

Wow from unreal family in a bad way to unreal in a super way.yay!

[HeebieJeebies456]

I don’t even know where my husband is ! His parents ignore my calls so I haven’t tried finding out for a while

Why haven't you contacted CMS to track him down and claim child maintenance from him?
You can't afford a babysitter for the kids you already have and have another on the way.......i don't think you can afford to be so passive about this.

[SometimesMaybe]

Glad it worked out OP. Hopefully a lovely new relationship will come out of this between you and your sisters in laws.

[Howsthings1234]

So pleased you have a plan OP - she sounds lovely. Thank goodness for your sister. I hope you feel ok now and I think your family should be ashamed putting this stress on you. Sending lots of good luck for the birth your way xxx

[MissEliza]

Well done to the sister's MIL for behaving like a decent human being and unfortunately really showing up the Op's own parents. I'm afraid this story has made me feel quite sad. As someone who lives very far away from both sets of parents I've sometimes felt a bit nervous about what would happen if there was an emergency when dh was away but that's because my dps CANT help not WONT help.
Best of luck Op

[ZoSanDesu]

Will be thinking of you Orion! Fingers crossed it all goes smoothly. Well done Sister and MIL!!

[Boringnamechange1]

So sorry to read your situation OP but glad you've got it sorted. Your sister and her MIL sound lovely. I was abandoned by my ex during pregnancy, he reluctantly came along for the very traumatic birth then fucked off again. I was lucky to have the support of my family to look after my other daughter (he's abandoned her too) while I was in hospital and to help me afterwards. It can be hard work being alone with 2 I admire you so much being a single parent of 3 soon to be 4, you sound like a wonderful mum

[alphajuliet123]

Please text your family and tell them your children will be going into care and see how they react, if they are decent human beings they will be horrified at the prospect and backtrack.

Then tell them to fuck right off, you don't need them anyway.

Good luck and keep us posted, hope all goes well!

[LoveProsecco]

So glad you have something in place

[Jenijena]

There is your children’s honorary granny. And you’re sort of related anyway. I hope it goes well for you.