Tidiness - how does this actually work in practice?

[RangeTesKopeks]

I really want to be more tidy and organised at home, and have got into the whole Kon-Mari thing (probably because my home/life when I was growing up was a bit chaotic!!)

Please could you talk me through the idea of 'a place for everything, and everything in its place'?

I really want to implement it at home, but don't know where to start (even after doing Kon-Mari).

Thanks :)

Thanks @Puzzled :)

For the "up the stairs" issue we have baskets - one for each DC if it wasn't infantilising DH would have one too.

Annoys me less if it's all in a basket, and can dump the whole thing in their room if you get really fed up.

wooly I just don't see mess.
Train yourself. Seriously. Look around & think hmm, what is wrong here.

Take photos on your phone of "tidy". Take a photo of the room as it is. Compare & contrast.

Seriously - try it.

When you say you "just don't see it" and he says " you're doing it deliberately" he means "make more effort to see it my way, please."

I tidy up between the ads on telly.

Every night I have power hour where I go for an hour and what gets done in that hour is it.

I offer put my kids clean clothes on top of drawers and put them away as they are getting ready for bed. It's amazing the little chats they have with you then.

It is this one Jershaanddup.com KonMari checklish

I Kon maried about 2 years ago.

Once you have less crap it's easy and almost pleasurable to put stuff away. A place for everything. If you put a couple of bits of stuff away every time you walk through a room it stays tidy. It takes literally seconds and no brain effort once it's habit.

One of her best pieces of advice (for me) when you begin was to look at each object and think about where you use it most and how often. Then either put it where it's easy to get to (and easy to put away again) or chuck it out.

Kids ... i second the idea of talking them through what you are trying to do and make it as easy for them as poss. The basket each thing for each child to take upstairs/downstairs is good.

Make it totally normal and matter of fact for kids to spend ...what?... 5 mins of their time per day putting back all the stuff they've got out without it being a massive issue. It's a really good habit to get them into. If it helps choose a good 5 mins where they (and you for your bits) all do it everyday. Before bed? Before tea?

The thing about this is, if you do it most days your house is so much nicer to live in. And if you do it most days one or two days of not doing it, because you're ill or extra busy suddenly for eg, wont make a huge difference.

I'd love to do this but I can't tidy away after myself and the dc's all the time. They'll make mess before school and work and when I get in they're making more mess. They refuse point blank to tidy so I have to do it while doing all the other housework and mental load (lp).

They refuse point blank to tidy

How old are they?

Routines:
Empty dishwasher every morning while kettle boils.

When I open the door when I arrive home I then shut it and put the key back in the keyhole so it’s always there.

Clean washing goes directly into ironing box (don’t put it on sofa or bed or it’s 2 jobs to do).

I read on here some time ago a poster complaining that her family don't do jobs to her standards and that she gets pissed off and there's stress and rows.

Someone answered that to an extent it's easier to decide that your own expectations are your own business. If it's really important to you that certain things are done a certain way then get on with it yourself and stop spending your life stressing about getting everyone to do it as well.

Ridiculous to say, but this was a revelation to me and i've taken it on board. I'm happy to keep the house the way i like it (very tidy and de-cluttered) with basic effort from DH and kids.

It's a strange thing and a fine line. At a time when there's a struggle to get partners to pull their weight and teach the kids to tidy, it's not advice which is instantly well received. Obviously 'they' need to do their bit, however as someone who thrives best in a very tidy environment i have accepted that his tidying and my tidying are worlds apart so if i want it done a certain way i have to get on with it.

Make sure you have logical homes for all the items you need, if possible close to other similar items (e.g. a DIY drawer, a sewing draw, adequate bookshelves, a gifts/wrapping drawer).

I honestly don't know how much time I spend tidying because I do it all in simple sweeps. 5-10 minutes when I get home (pop things for upstairs on the stairs, move things back to the correct draws/rooms, put breakfast things in dishwasher). The when I'm cooking/waiting for the kettle to boil/brushing my teeth, I just nudge things back into their previous positions.

laiste 10 & 9. I can't physically force them to tidy up. Sadly. I've tried doing it for pocket money but they decided they didn't want any money after all .

Meglet have you tried the bin bag method? Bung everything that belongs to them and they wont tidy up in a bin bag and stick it outside.

And do it every day. Stick to your guns.

Trickier with washing up, ect., if that's what they wont do, But while you're doing the extreme training you could get paper plates and plastic cutlery. Put anything good/nice to use/or nice to eat out the way and carry on until they agree to some house rules.

My older 2 are in their early 20s now, but when they were 10 or 12 i remember having to do this. Twice if i recall. The second time i emptied all the stuff on the patio (it was summer time, nothing got spoiled) it was the last time i had to do it. Never had trouble with no.3 - she witnessed the bin bag method for her sisters. No.4 is too little yet

And it didn't scar them for life or anything. We do actually laugh about it now.

I’ve some way to go, but, like other posters I do the following:

Never leave a room empty handed.

Don’t tidy up ‘for’ the kids unless they’re babies. But I do remove their stuff from living areas and throw it into their room as I pass. One room is an utter dump, the other isn’t bad, simply because she leaves less stuff about.

Be ruthless about whether or not you actually need said item. Don’t keep it unless it is useful or beautiful.

Don’t buy it in the first place unless you have considered where it can be kept in your home

Have a system for end of life things. A box for worn out clothes, which periodically goes to charity.

Small items of child related tat - have a decorative lidded box in the living room where these items can be thrown

Shoes - have a system for discarded shoes - get a box or shoe bench in the hall if you have space.

Accessibility - some cupboards really do need a periodic organise and culling. Because otherwise no one gets anything out or puts it away because it’s too much effort. Make sure the tools for cleaning and diy are accessible, otherwise that doesn’t get done either, there will be loads of minor diy fixes that just need a screwdriver, but it is in the depths of the disaster cupboard and won’t get done.

Time- do two things at once. Whilst the kettle is boiling, you can unload a dishwasher and put everything away. Whilst your bath is filling, you can check your medicine cupboard for leaky/out of date products and bin them.

Re-gifting. I have a box for these, with a post it note telling me who gave it to me. Then I can safely donate it to the PTA raffle or whatever without offending the person who gave it to me.

Try not to keep things ‘for best’ - this means no one benefits much from the posh china, and there are now two sets of crockery to consider.

If you are a long way from this, pick a room - say the living room, and work on that one. Work your way around the house from there. Be realistic, set yourself deadlines and maybe a budget for shelving, boxes, basic diy tools. Take as long as you need, but make progress.

Good Luck

This is my challenge at the moment. It is an uphill struggle. Came downstairs this morning to find all these items in the down stairs cloak room:-
Plasters and a blood stained hanky , (dh) empty lip roll, water pistol and two hair bands.
Going to be an uphill struggle.

Oops. Repetition.

Fab ideas, everyone - thanks!

I’m a great believer in throwing at least one item out for every new one bought and deviding before buying the item what it will be replacing.
Also, regularly clearing out cupboards, especially those that build up clutter.
I’m quite ruthless about throwing stuff out whereas DH likes to keep things that might be useful some day so he has set places to keep such items.

I don’t find the ‘Is it useful, does it spark joy’ mantra very helpful (because I convince myself that everything sparks joy, or is useful).

I did discover a new mantra though which I find much easier to apply, and with better results: ‘if this item was covered in vomit, would I be willing to hand clean it in order to save it?’...turns out that all those cookbooks I had been keeping didn’t ‘spark joy’ after all, only Delia made the cut.

I have to give credit for this discovery to my daughter, who was hit with the sick bug when we were mid-decorating and all the contents of the shelves were at floor level.

3out also - not envy!

It was an epiphany ;)

The other thing is, if you're starting from the 'total tip' position, you'll have to accept that it will take time to build up the habits that lead to a tidy house. I like FlyLady's idea of starting with a shiny sink/clean loo/clear desk etc. and working room by room from there, rather than wear yourself out trying to get the whole house immaculate and go mad trying to force unwilling family members to do the same.

Can't say my house is ideal. But the floors are clean and I know where my clean knickers are. I'll tackle the ironing mountain later.

My children are only 6 and 2 but they know where shoes, coats and bags go. The little on can’t quite manager her shoes on her shelf yet but the bigger one always makes space in his shoe shelf for friends he has round.
I am yet to interest them in the dishwasher or washing machine.