To ask you the best excuse for a bad night's sleep.

[Santawontbelong]

Me and dh have not slept for 3 nights due to ddog wearing the cone of shame and flashing sad doggy eyes til we let her sleep upstairs. Usually the bedroom door is closed. . Seeing it open dcat1 also decided to try his luck. . Crept in, pissed on my pile of clean bedding before cosying up to ddog. Dh admitted defeat and slept on the couch. Allowing more space for dcat 2 to join in the sleepover. . He didn't p on the floor tho. . Was glad when it was time to get up for work tbh. . What's your excuse??

Feral cat breaking in and spraying everywhere

Sprinkling too much lavender oil on pillow to induce sleep that it caused us both to be sick (poisoned)

I slept off a headache in a late afternoon nap so come bedtime was not at all tired.

Had restless legs, endless trips to the loo & heartburn after eating chilli for tea (not pregnant)

Was not a restful night!

Next door's cat sneaking in and going to sleep under the bed only to wake up and discover that she wasTRAPPED and therefore had to go on the rampage through the house until we eventually managed to guide her out.

After I’d gone to bed (and fallen asleep), DP fell asleep in the toilet, then fell off with an enormous crash, broke the seat and cut himself.

OH was away for a couple of days and DCat3 missed him so much he woke me up every 5-10 mins throughout the night to ask where his daddy is.

Ended up locking him in the living room but he knows how to open doors so it only bought me an hour. He kept it up for 3 nights and I almost throttled him.

Pavlovian - he fell asleep on the toilet?

I slept on the loo in a hotel in Milan with a bout of food poisoning!! Had a pillow behind my head and my pants down!!

This will out me massively but who cares.

I have very very vivid dreams and am very mobile in my sleep so I often go walkies. One night, I got up, got dressed in a hoody (important), went downstairs and out into the front garden. I then stood looking into my front window as I was dreaming I was order a kebab from a van.

DH usually wakes up but he was drunk so didn't hear a thing.

A neighbour over the road was awake and just saw someone with a hood up standing looking into our living window. Naturally, she called the police.

The police arrived within a few minutes and were approaching me very very cautiously. I didn't wake up when they arrived so I just stood there, which they took to mean I was batshit crazy.

DH heard voices in the front garden, realised I was gone, looked out of the window and came bombing downstairs to tell them it was all okay.

But, our front door shuts behind you so as he came running out into the front garden, the door shut behind him and we were locked out.

The slamming of the front door woke me up to see DH in his boxers and T-shirt flapping his arms like a madman and two coppers creeping over the grass looking like they feared for their lives. I think DH thought they were going to taser me.

So, anyway, fortunately we'd left our bedroom window open a crack so I, being the smallest and lightest, had to scrabble (bear in mind I've just woken up!) on to the garage roof, on to the windowsill and in through the bedroom window to let everyone in.

Anyway, the coppers came in and had a quick brew and we eventually got back to bed. Needless to say we got no sleep for the rest of the night.

Sympathy for new cat, adopted a few weeks after we took his brother because he was still unwell. His brother is virtually mute, he has a miaow measured in the millions of decibels. He also likes sitting on people's heads and he threw up under the bed at 4am.

jeepers that's brilliant.

I've woke up being suffocated by the cat. She also used to scratch at my bedroom door to come in. Then scratch to go out.

She would only drink from my glass of water don't worry I always had a different one for me and if there was not enough water in the glass would cry until it was sorted.
I miss her so much.

The broken alarm clock I gave birth to went off every 90 minutes last night

When I was a child, my sister and I used to sleep at my dad's on a Saturday night. He would to go out to the pub and come home absolutely wrecked in the early hours. One time, he must have not shut the front door properly and I woke up to find a stray black cat on the pillow next to my head (he lives in a bungalow). I woke my sister and my dad and he told me off for leaving the door open I couldn't sleep after that because I was too busy fuming over the injustice of it.

Really boring but I can only sleep when the need to sleep outweighs the pain, currently getting around 5 hours a night

I woke up at 4ish with a giant spider across my face, I stayed very still while I worked out what to do. Over the course of minutes I realised it was my own, stupid, hand.

He did, TheMogget, and has done since but luckily (for him) hasn’t broken the new seat.

Anon that's so funny!

My DP sleep talks.
Once he spent almost the whole night giggling...
And last night we thought I went into early labour but turned out to be false alarm, but it really frightened him and no joke about 15 times he shook me awake in the night to ask if I was ok. He doesn't remember doing it once. I've told him if I smother him in his sleep it's probably deserved

Sex - lots of.

Wow. This thread has just convinced me to never get a cat.

I can't sleep right now because I had a three hour nap this morning (recovering from a tummy bug to be fair).

I have two.

Coming home bladdered at three am only to receive a phone call from the emergency services as 'd'm had burned down her house whilst babysitting for ds1. They both stayed in hospital for a few days for smoke inhalation but otherwise fine.

Next one

The bloody cat bringing in a live wild rat and losing it under my bed. I woke to the sound of rat shrieking and it scampered into a rolled up carpet so I went back to bed. Three days later the cleaner found it in the bath, put her empty bucket in and when the rat jumped in the bucket she tipped it over the balcony on the first floor

Jeepers and Anon

Once I was wakened in the night by a cosh on the side of the face by a cold heavy rubber object. I got a real fright, and but when I tried to feel in the dark what the object was, I couldn't move my arm. It turned out the cold rubber thing was my arm, which I guess I must have been sleeping on until it lost all feeling. No idea how I managed to drop it on my own face, but I spend the next hour or so trying to massage some life, colour and feeling back into my poor dead arm, which was tingly for days afterwards. Very weird.