To be surprised at the things people judge others for?

[brasty]

One of the things I have learned from MN is how judgemental some people are. I frequently read threads on here where people are judging others for things that would not even have crossed my mind. I have hated realising just how judgemental some people are about minor things that do not affect them at all.

Fitton Yes its the ascribing likely false motives that gets me.

Barbarian Yes people on here will judge minor things harshly. But if you posted about a parent saying to a 4 year old "hurry up you fucking lazy cow", you would get all the - only a snapshot, doesn't mean anything comments.

I judge people who overfeed their kids.

I know I shouldn't. I can't see anything good coming of me doing it...but I do.

One of the things I have learned from MN is how judgemental some people are. I frequently read threads on here where people are judging others for things that would not even have crossed my mind. I have hated realising just how judgemental some people are about minor things that do not affect them at all.

Where do you draw the line? Now I think of it you're being judgey. You say others are often trivial. What do you consider to be important?

The reading aloud one wasn’t about someone reading to their child at all, it was about someone putting on a full scale performance for the benefit of everyone around her, not the tiny child who couldn’t have cared less.

I agree that it is human nature to judge, but I also agree that there is a world of difference in my mind between fleetingly noticing someone does something differently and then going over it in your mind enough to post it on here or chat to others about it. I think there is way too much of the latter, but I am also guilty of it myself so I guess nobody's perfect! I am mostly incredibly judgemental of myself and I believe a lot of our judgeiness reflects how we feel about ourselves.

Depends what the behaviour is.

If its smacking a child- I'll judge.

If someone is wearing something from last season (and other bullshit like that)- I wouldn't judge.

I used to be incredibly judgmental which stemmed from having a horrible mother.

As a child my mum would constantly pass comment on how other people looked, how they spoke, what they were wearing, what they were doing etc.

I grew up to be the same.

Then in my late 20s, and after joining MN, I realised this sort of judgmental attitude was making me pretty miserable. So I made a conscious effort to stop.

However, I found myself turning into a complete wet blanket and silencing/ignoring my reactions/thoughts in an attempt not to be judgmental. So, for example, if I saw someone swearing at their children I would try hard to think "It's none of my business, just ignore it".

I feel I've now reached a happy medium where I do judge people but only about things that I really care about or which directly affect me.

If that makes any sense

Isn't that what MN is though? Someone posts a thread, others reply giving their opinion or a 'judgement'.
In real life you'd keep a lot of that to yourself if you were in conversation with someone, you'd hold back so you don't come across as judgemental.
It doesn't mean you're not thinking 'WTF! I'd never do that'
Being on an anonymous forum is different to real life, it's not necessarily a bad thing to actually hear the things people would normarily keep Schtum about, although it being anonymous means many posters don't hold back.

Yes it is sad but it is actually more than sad. I think being able to openly write about our internal dialogues (many of which are pretty unacceptable to say out loud) and having people vailidate them by saying they think that too can lead to a spiral of self righteous congratualtion about something that should actully be "fought against"

Absolutely but humanity has spent milennia trying to better its nature. Judging other people is something people should try to do less of, because this "others" people and increases the disconnection between them

I think it can be good to share feelings/thought so that other can say "Oh I think that too " but sharing internal thoughts and feelings that fundamentally cruel or unpleasantly judgemental (and we all have those thoughts, sometimes, every one of us) )should be done with clse peolle we trust so that we feel safe and can assess how reasonable those feelings/thoughts are. When we share them if they are not actively truying to do that bu congratualting themselves

"The reading aloud one wasn’t about someone reading to their child at all, it was about someone putting on a full scale performance for the benefit of everyone around her, not the tiny child who couldn’t have cared less."

No, that was the (judgemental) interpretation of the OP. For all we know it could have just been someone giving an expressive reading of a favourite book to entertain her child. But by all means, let's not let stop anyone anyone from giving her a good kicking for "performance parenting" (a horrid judgemental phrase in its own right!)

There was a post where the OP was frothing at the mouth because someone had their baby on a train with them at 10pm.

Wouldn't even bat an eyelid

I have a toilet brush. Im judged by half of MN. grin

Me too. My (ex) DP—and now by best friend—once washed it in the washing up bowl with the dishes. (I'd asked him to clean it, by which I meant sticking it in the bucket with some bleach)

We're both still here