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AIBU?

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Original poster

to talk to nursery about their zombie outbreak?

62 replies

JumpingJellybeanz · 23/10/2017 11:04

When I took 4 year old DS to nursery on Friday the group of kids he usually plays with were all chasing each other around, pretending to be zombies, trying to eat each others brains and having lots of fun. And suddenly it all drops into place.

For weeks now we've had problems with DS having nightmares and waking up screaming. On the few occasions he's aware of what he's dreaming about he's mentioned zombies and not wanting to be eaten.

So do I say something? Will they think I'm 'that' parent?

I don't know if it's relevant but DS is autistic and can be quite literal in how he sees things. He also struggles with playing with other children and nursery having been working really hard on this with him. 6 months ago he was oblivious to the existence of the other children.

WWYD?

OP posts:
ilovesushi · 23/10/2017 11:48

Why on earth do people here think that 2-4 year olds should have their heads filled with vampires, zombies and the like? Are you serious? I love halloween as much as the next person, but have you lost a grip on how little these kids are? Totally not age appropriate. Wow!

Bekabeech · 23/10/2017 11:49

I would work on getting him to understand the concept of "pretend" even if he decides it is very silly and not something he would ever want to do.

My Aspie DD at one point had the after school club all playing Vampires. I feel mildly embarrassed by it still, but ...

It can't really be banned - as you'd have to know why the children were chasing each other.

Actually my DD would have coped better by learning more about Zombies and how to protect herself. She does have "prepper" tendencies.

ADayGivingMeHope · 23/10/2017 11:50

How do 4 year olds know what zombies are? 😕

I’d definitely speak to the Nursery, maybe them being extra aware means they can comfort and support your child when the others are playing ‘zombies’ 😒

Flowers
liquidrevolution · 23/10/2017 11:50

I'm probably the only one but I wouldn't be too happy for a 4 year old to play zombies. Not every 4 year old is at the same emotional level. I would have expected a teacher or TA to have stepped in and steered the game to something else.

There are plenty of other games to play Confused. makes me almost yearn for a game of bulldog or red rover.

TwattyCatty · 23/10/2017 11:52

Why on earth do people here think that 2-4 year olds should have their heads filled with vampires, zombies and the like? Are you serious? I love halloween as much as the next person, but have you lost a grip on how little these kids are? Totally not age appropriate. Wow!

And how exactly do you think you can stop them knowing about it? When the shops are filled with decorations and costumes, and cartoons and tv and films and trick or treating and older siblings etc are all doing Halloween things?
You going to lock the under 4's in a room for a month to avoid any mention of halloween?

ReanimatedSGB · 23/10/2017 11:55

Look, four year olds who have been 'properly' brought up will have heard stories about witches who eat children, and wolves who threaten little girls, so please stop pearl-clutching about how our evil modern world gives children unsuitable ideas such as zombies. It is really no different, in the mind of a four year old, what type of 'monster' they are pretending to be, or pretending to battle.

brasty · 23/10/2017 11:56

Of course it is not inappropriate. Kids will play monsters, ghosts or some other scary figure chasing each other. He needs to know zombies are just a story and are not real. It is possible a kid has convinced him they are real.

SoupDragon · 23/10/2017 11:56

have you lost a grip on how little these kids are?

No.

How do 4 year olds know what zombies are?

Easily. No child exists in a little vacuum packed world where there is no outside influence from older siblings or friends with older siblings etc.

brasty · 23/10/2017 11:57

When I was a kid, it was the bogeyman who was coming to get to you. Never saw any TV programmes or anything about the bogeyman. He was just a scary monster.

ilovesushi · 23/10/2017 11:59

Of course they can dress up, eat sweets the rest of it but to play about the undead killing each other on a daily basis is a step too far for me for small kids. Not really sure how they are getting all this zombie exposure to be honest. Halloween round here is more about pumpkins, bats and witches hats. There are loads of running around imagination games that don't involve killing. Maybe I'm in the minority but I would not be up for a pre-school where a dubious pop culture trend (video games/ cartoons for older kids) is defining what the kids do and learn. The adults in charge sound totally oblivious or wet if they can't encourage the kids to branch out and try other games.

TorNayDoh · 23/10/2017 12:03

The problem is once you have older siblings then the younger siblings are going to be exposed to things earlier than the PFB and they bring that to nursery with them. Minecraft, for instance, is huge among primary age children. It's rated PEGI 7 and has zombies in, but pretty much all the 5 and 6 year olds I know are familiar with it. The zombies are green and not scary, particularly. So, I sympathise but I don't think you can get the game banned if it's essentially just a chase game.

If the zombie game is including 28 Days Later style age-inappropriate gory details then that's something where a discussion could be more useful.

What's the Time Mr Wolf was/is a great playground game, but if the Wolf caught you he 'ate' you, so I think this is a problem which is going to be ongoing in some form, and trying to help your DC find coping strategies is probably the best way forward.

to talk to nursery about their zombie outbreak?
brasty · 23/10/2017 12:03

There are kids books about zombies, some for 4 year olds.

www.barnesandnoble.com/blog/kids/5-kids-books-about-zombies/

Ilovesushi you sound like my bfs parents at school who would not let her play any pretend games involving the latest TV characters. I don't understand it myself.

And the nursery no doubt understand that it is a chasing game. Games like this have been played for years and years using various monsters, witches, etc as the scary thing chasing.

ilovesushi · 23/10/2017 12:05

brasty - no you have completely got the wrong idea. It just games about murder that I don't condone.

Ceto · 23/10/2017 12:05

What is the outcome supposed to be here? Stop children playing? It's almost halloween, it's normal play behavior for children.

OP has made it perfectly clear that that is not what she wants. I would have thought a sensible approach on the nursery's part would be to distract them with something else when they start playing zombies, and to have discussions about how they're absolutely not real.

TwattyCatty · 23/10/2017 12:06

There are loads of running around imagination games that don't involve killing

they aren't killing! They are just chasing each other, fgs. I very much doubt they are pretending to eat each others intestines or biting faces.
Some people just have to make a fuss about nothing.

brasty · 23/10/2017 12:07

It isn't a game about murder. It is a chase game.

ilovesushi · 23/10/2017 12:07

Not against pop culture per se. But what is fun and exciting for one age group can be worrying or worse frightening for another.

brasty · 23/10/2017 12:08

The key thing is talking about how they are not real. Maybe even making up a story about a friendly and funny zombie.

Sometimes in these games you get 1 or 2 kids who do tell other kids the scary being is real. I suspect that is at the root of the issue and is something I would investigate. And then the solution is obvious.

coldcanary · 23/10/2017 12:11

soup’s suggestion of asking the nursery how to deal with DS’s upset and understanding of pretend play is a good one - that way you will hopefully get some strategies and the nursery staff will know that the game is having a detrimental effect on at least one child. They can deal with it at their end then, either through stories or circle time (which IME is far more effective than banning something outright).

LanaKanesLeftNippleTassle · 23/10/2017 12:14

My 5 yr old is obssessed with zombies at the moment....
Do you know where he got it from??

Scooby doo!

I don't think it's a bad thing to know about this stuff at that age, popular culture is full of it.

It's just another chasing game.

In WW2 it would have been Nazis, you know that don't you?

In Victorian times it was probably ghosts or something.

Going back hundreds of years it would have been things like witches/demons/the devil/bears.

Zombies are a "baddie" for today, that's it.

brasty · 23/10/2017 12:23

Yes I think OP is assuming this zombie thing comes from a proper zombie horror film, when age appropriate zombie references are everywhere.

SoupDragon · 23/10/2017 12:25

Not really sure how they are getting all this zombie exposure to be honest.

It's really simple. When DS1 was 4, his world was pretty much limited to that of a 4 year old and he would initiate games according to that. When DD was 4, DS1 was 11, DS2 was 7 and she had therefore had 4 years of growing up with brothers 7 and 5 years older than her and all the experiences that entailed. She may well have initiated games based on that experience.

It is impossible to isolate children from the influence of older siblings.

ljny · 23/10/2017 12:53

I would have thought a sensible approach on the nursery's part would be to distract them with something else when they start playing zombies, and to have discussions about how they're absolutely not real.

Four-year-old grandson and friend had nightmares about zombies. Both have brothers a few years older, both were absolutely clear that zombies aren't real, but still, it's an emotionally susceptible age. And somehow zombies seem to set off the fears in some children.

It was easier because it was happening at home and in a small friendship circle, not nursery. Parents banned zombies & plants at home, deleted a few games from the ipad.

It's harder with nursery but I'd talk with them, let them know your son is having nightmares. Neither of these boys has autism (one may be ADHD). By all means keep discussing with your DS that zombies aren't real, but quite honestly, fiction can be scary for little kids.

He may grow out of it in a few years, but try to work something out with nursery. No need for the little lad to suffer nightmares.

IvorHughJars · 23/10/2017 13:22

DS was scared of zombies but also interested to know how things work, so I showed him makeup tutorials on YouTube. Fear all gone and for a while he wanted to be a SFX makeup person. Would that help? Disclaimer: I told this to a mate whose DS felt similarly and the tutorial made him cry. Know your audience!

IvorHughJars · 23/10/2017 13:22

DS was scared of zombies but also interested to know how things work, so I showed him makeup tutorials on YouTube. Fear all gone and for a while he wanted to be a SFX makeup person. Would that help? Disclaimer: I told this to a mate whose DS felt similarly and the tutorial made him cry. Know your audience!