To expect a baby change in a restaurant / foodie pub...?

[SpottyGecko]

Went out for lunch today to a place we'd never been to before. An old pub, where ladies / gents and I assume disabled toilets were spread out.

Between courses I had to change dd. Went into ladies, no baby change. So asked (admittedly grumpy) waitress perfectly pleasantly where the baby change was. She looked at me strangely and snapped "we don't have one". And just stared at me. I answered ok, but slowly as was weighing up in my head where I could change dd thinking it might have to be the car boot even though it was raining heavily, and she just carried on watching me until I said ok again and walked away. She made no attempt to offer a solution / apology.

This was a pub that had high chairs and an extensive child's menu with colouring paper and pencils, so reasonably child friendly.

Ended up changing dd on a cold and cramped toilet floor, where people literally had to step over us. There was room on a wall for a changer.

AIBU to expect a simple baby change pull down table thing in 2017? I've been to a lot of pubs, restaurants, cafes etc both rural / remote and urban and never come across this before. Or am I just being a bit entitled? Genuinely interested and open to people telling me I'm expecting too much.

[BernardBlacksHangover]

Oh sorry - of course it's not racist now that you say you've MET Asian mums. If you were talking about white mums would you have said "you remind me of the white mums who..."?

[BernardBlacksHangover]

And I've reported your earlier "Asian mums" comment. Hopefully it gets removed, as it should. Ick.

[BernardBlacksHangover]

"Your responses remind me of the white mother in laws that believe that because they were beaten, their daughter in laws should be too?!"

This^^ is what you would have written? Seriously? Sorry, I don't buy it.

[BernardBlacksHangover]

Amazing how viscous mums netters can so quickly turn a thread into something so dark and twisty. Vile place

I mean this kindly; calm down. You seem massively over invested in this. Mumsnet is what it is; a load of people commenting on random crap. If you find it vile, there's always the other place.

[Secretteach]

I’ve met a good few Irish mother in laws who that phrase would have worked! But I would have probably specified Irish rather than just saying white - I spoke about ethnicity not colour in my original comment so can’t imagine I would talk about colour this time around

[soberexpat]

i live overseas and there are rarely these facilities. i solved this issue with a baby changing clutch - absolutely brilliant!

[BernardBlacksHangover]

"Your responses remind me of the English mother in laws that believe that because they were beaten, their daughter in laws should be too?!"

This then? You would have written this?

Ps: I'm Irish and nobody I've ever met in Ireland condones beating, but hey ho. You must be very unfortunate to have met so many of these mother in laws. Maybe just say "these mother in laws" and don't bother with the race / ethnicity in the future. Would save the confusion.

[TwattyCatty]

And its not remotely "my life is hard so yours should be too", its my life is easy enough, just like yours, and neither of us actually needs a plastic shelf in every single bathroom so get the fuck over it!
Moaning marys.

[scottishdiem]

Problem is that many older buildings are not set up for these things at all and making changes, like hanging a baby change unit on a random wall. And they will need more than one given how problematic an old man in a female toilets in M&S standing beside is similarly old wife and changing a baby was here in MN.

Perhaps phone ahead rather than assume if you dont want to do it on your lap like women of a generation ago or prefer toilet floors as opposed to back seats of cars?

However, it irks me that establishments that are new or have gone through a complete refurb still have this problem.

[Jasmine1111]

It’s not ideal but I learned to change baby on my knee so I’d have done it while sitting on toilet so I didn’t have to put baby on toilet floor.

[repetitionrepetition]

tbh in this situation I would consider doing it on the table top but then I can be a tad pfb. A decent baby change should be a requirement and if you don’t welcome children it should be clearly stated so we short handed mothers don’t waste our time/money/efforts!

[YetAnotherHelenMumsnet]

Hi all,
We've deleted quite a few posts and responses on this thread, could we consider the matter closed now and keep going with answering the OP's post? Thanks, much appreciated.

[Dreams16]

Seriously wtf is up with some twit posters op yanbu if a pub offers a child’s menu you’d expect in this modern day and age there would be facilities to change your baby I would have been just as annoyed at having to change DC on the women’s toilet floor full of germs

Personally I’d have preferred to have used the boot of the car even with it raining than get down on stinky toilet floor

Best solution is next time you and family plan to go anywhere for meals is to ask if they have baby changing facilities

[DonnaMoss]

Try changing a disabled 4 year old on piss soaked floors when there are no appropriate disabled changing facilities. Disabled toilets are a box ticking exercise and the term "accessible" means sod all if you can't stand on your own 2 feet or use a toilet. Your NT children will grow out of this issue but it's a lifelong reality for many of us.

[SpottyGecko]

Wow! This thread has escalated

Twatty i couldn’t change her on my lap safely. You don’t know me or my build when you’ve generalised and said “course you could”. I could be 4ft11 so short lap and heavily pregnant.....appropriate name btw

myheart it was cold, windy and raining heavily. My “poor baby” was better off on the floor than in the boot of our car that opens from the side rather than the top.

Bernard my thread was pretty lighthearted. I wasn’t riled. If I was riled I’d use exclamation marks. Like this!!!!

[SpottyGecko]

reallyanotherone if I’d changed her in the corridor the diners would have smelt her too. Loos have doors.

Donna and the other couple of PP who have disabled children, I’m very sorry. I never meant to be insensitive by my OP. I was merely wondering about the lack of facilities in an other wise baby friendly establishment and whether I was being entitled. I can understand why you were riled by my post.

Thanks to Margaret and the other poster who eloquently explained issues to do with structure, bearing weight of walls etc.

[BernardBlacksHangover]

I wasn’t riled. If I was riled I’d use exclamation marks. Like this!!!!

That is true, or the terrible CAPS .

[SpottyGecko]

Bernard HAHAHA!!!!!

[SpottyGecko]

Several posters have also suggested phoning ahead in future. Lack of baby change would never put me off somewhere if the food and service was good enough. I’m not that entitled, unable to solve a problem by thinking for myself or special snowflaked but sadly this place fell short on both food and service.