To expect a baby change in a restaurant / foodie pub...?

[SpottyGecko]

Went out for lunch today to a place we'd never been to before. An old pub, where ladies / gents and I assume disabled toilets were spread out.

Between courses I had to change dd. Went into ladies, no baby change. So asked (admittedly grumpy) waitress perfectly pleasantly where the baby change was. She looked at me strangely and snapped "we don't have one". And just stared at me. I answered ok, but slowly as was weighing up in my head where I could change dd thinking it might have to be the car boot even though it was raining heavily, and she just carried on watching me until I said ok again and walked away. She made no attempt to offer a solution / apology.

This was a pub that had high chairs and an extensive child's menu with colouring paper and pencils, so reasonably child friendly.

Ended up changing dd on a cold and cramped toilet floor, where people literally had to step over us. There was room on a wall for a changer.

AIBU to expect a simple baby change pull down table thing in 2017? I've been to a lot of pubs, restaurants, cafes etc both rural / remote and urban and never come across this before. Or am I just being a bit entitled? Genuinely interested and open to people telling me I'm expecting too much.

[sandgrown]

I had my older children in an era when baby changing facilities were rare. Like PP I perfected the art of changing baby on my knee . I used terry nappies as well!

[VinIsGroot]

Imagine if you had an 8 year old baby who was still in nappies!!!
You'd do vwhat the mum of disabled kids do every day and change them on the floor !!!! Now though I've taken to putting DS in a table and changing him there ... They don't make changing pads big enough !!!

[Secretteach]

Lethaldrizzle and mydearannie- teacher in catchment having lunch with father in law and table of 8 pupils sat on the next table. Sad but true that I would feel very vulnerable whacking Norks out for a feed next to table of pupils. Can’t imagine the rumour mill at school next day or what the parents would say, would expect complaints. Both times pupil related, the danger of being a teacher! But also not keen on feeding in front of father in law, he is of a ‘different generation’. Both times thought would feed in baby change in v new building, one had lost the key and one didn’t have anything or anywhere suitable. Those saying change on knees, just because you can or had to doesn’t mean we should. Times have moved on supposedly. You don’t expect someone to cross their legs because their isn’t a toilet available, you expect a toilet. Baby change is the same, and if it’s not then the establishment shouldn’t be trying to cater to families. All these arguments about crumbly walls etc, fine, but it doesn’t take anything to put a little table up, even a fold away one for tiny toilets. Went to a country fayre lately that managed a breast feeding and changing tent, if they can do it anyone can!!

[Someoneasdumbasthis]

Agree with PP. you have a perfectly acceptable lap to change nappies on. It’s a pub not a children’s restaurant. Anyway. You can vote with your feet.

[SpottyGecko]

reallyanotherone because the other diners would have been able to see me. And I didn't think it was fair for them to see that. Even if I would have positioned myself between them and my baby's bum i still didn't think it fair that they would know what I was doing as they ate.

It's not a problem, I'm young(ish) and healthy so can kneel down and bend over etc.

But I guess I have become conditioned to think it's unusual when baby changers aren't in situ as ime 99% of the time they are.

[SpottyGecko]

To a PP there's no way at 13mo I could change her on my lap. She's far too strong, wriggly and determined!

[mintich]

Worst is when they have no disabled toilet either! At least in a disabled there's room to change on the floor

[SomethingNastyInTheBallPool]

YANBU, OP. If there’s space in the loo and the pub is child-friendly, I’d be surprised that there wasn’t at least a drop-down changing table.

We were in a flooring shop recently with DD in her buggy when she did a large and smelly poo. The manager offered us his office to change her in, which I thought was really nice. (We declined as we were about to go home anyway, but still...)

[SomethingNastyInTheBallPool]

And there’s no way I could ever have changed my very floppy baby on my knee.

[TwattyCatty]

To a PP there's no way at 13mo I could change her on my lap. She's far too strong, wriggly and determined

Of course you could, you just learn the knack. I have a wriggly determined 26 month old, and I can change her on my knee.
What do you think people did before their were baby changes everywhere? Which, btw, was only 20 years ago? We managed just fine!

[Sleepyblueocean]

I have to change my 10 year old on the floor most of the time. At least there are baby changers most of the time.

[Butterymuffin]

wow, what a bunch of miserable responses. Just because other people have it bad, or managed to change six nappies simultaneously back in the day, OP should suck up changing her child on a toilet floor? Yes, let's have that race to the bottom.

[TwattyCatty]

It's not a race to the bottom, drama llama, its just having a slight ability to adapt and get on with your day, instead of making mountains out of molehills.
The things people complain about on here....completely unable to cope without having everything handed to them on a platter. No baby change, the special baby trolley wouldn't take my coin, someone was in the p&c space...waah waah waah.
I'd be ashamed to be so incapable!

[Myheartbelongsto]

You opted to change your baby on a toilet floor instead of going out to your car!

Poor baby.

[BernardBlacksHangover]

X post twatty. I spent so long writing that long response that you beat me to it!

[Butterymuffin]

Didn't realise MN was restricted to life threatening dilemmas only! Better shut Chat down now!

[SomethingNastyInTheBallPool]

I agree with secretteach about the race to the bottom here. It’s so mean-spirited. Mumsnet really depresses me sometimes.

[BernardBlacksHangover]

Didn't realise MN was restricted to life threatening dilemmas only! Better shut Chat down now!

Do you think the op started this as a lighthearted, chatty thread? That is not the tone as I read it at all. She seems riled, as do some other posters on here, something really banal.

[BernardBlacksHangover]

*Over something really banal

[TwattyCatty]

Can you not see how very far at the other end of the spectrum this is from a life threatening dilemma?
It's just called life. Occasionally you have to deal with not getting everything you want everywhere you go. You know why people talk about entitled snowflakes? This.

[reallyanotherone]

reallyanotherone because the other diners would have been able to see me. And I didn't think it was fair for them to see that. Even if I would have positioned myself between them and my baby's bum i still didn't think it fair that they would know what I was doing as they ate.

But you said the waitress could have suggested it?

I very much doubt most people eating in an adjacent room would notice, unless the corridor ran right through the dining tables? Who cares if they know what you were doing? When people excuse themselves to go to the loo at a meal i know what they are doing, but it doesn’t put anyone off eating.

Maybe if you had, and other diners complained, then the pub management may realise that changing facilities are a better option than having people change babies anywhere and everywhere?