about badly organised partner?

[greyseal]

It really gets me down

He is constantly doing stuff like this. These are examples:

Running out of petrol on a motorway
Late for work all the time
Doesn't organise things like shopping - so on the way to work already late announces he 'needs' to go to asda
Never checks his shifts and then complains about them
No mobile - impossible to get hold of

It really brings me down.

Does he have any redeeming features?

Well you know yanbu for how you feel.

He sounds selectively incompetent.

Question is, how long are you going to put up with it?

How long have you been together?

A few years. He seems to be getting worse.

You have to dump him make these things his problem and not your problem. Do you live with him, do you travel to work with him?

Can he hold down a job and organise himself enough for that? If so, there's no reason why he can't at home!

He is constantly late for work.

Sounds like my son. He has dyspraxia and ADHD. I think I have dyspraxia too and I can be disorganised very easily. I use lots of tools to sort myself such as reminders on my phone, to do lists etc.
He may find it difficult to organise himself effectively, however as an adult he needs to find ways to do it. He is being lazy IMO.

What does he do for work?

Why?

I have wondered about adhd but life is so far from normal.

Running out of petrol on a motorway would be a dealbreaker for me.
He could lose his job if he is often late.

Do you have dcs together?

If not, take the advice to end the relationship seriously - you will have to do all the parenting. Oh, he might be there for fun stuff sometimes, but the entirety of planning, juggling, caring for the children will fall to you.

You can't rely on people like this, they might want to be there for you when you need them, but something will happen that means they can't - the something will seem to come out of the blue for them, but a normal person would have seen it as a possible issue.

In my experience, the happiest couples are those who know that no matter what life throws at them, their partner has their back, you will always need to be running around, fixing his mistakes and picking up the pieces for him, but he'll never be able to be there for you.

If the 'why' is to me, because there are some types of jobs where punctuality isn't massively important but others it is.

If he has a job where it's important he's on time every day but isn't, it's a real question mark regarding a) how long he'll be in employment and b) how little importance he places on being a reliable employee.

Those traits are indicative of a really immature person and I couldn't be with someone like that.

I couldn't be with someone like this.

All of these are HUGE red flags. I'm betting you spend half your time dealing with all of his fuck ups. Trust me when I say RUN FOR THE HILLS.

fuckin' manchild.
bin.

Was beaten to it by MrSnrub. A total manchild.