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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Skype tuition AIBU

80 replies

CatWranglersAnonymous · 22/10/2017 10:21

I tutor a GCSE student over Skype on Sunday at 10 every 2 weeks.
The student knows it's every two weeks, as does their parent.

(I keep in contact with the parent in case they need to cancel/rearrange the sessions, which they have done in the past, but never at the last minute).

This morning, I logged into Skype just before 10, and saw the student was offline.

I waited until around ten past to check whether they would come online, but they're not online yet (as of 10:19).

I texted the student's parent at ten past to let them know of the situation, and haven't had a reply yet.

If they come back to me and say they'd like to rearrange for later today, that would disrupt my schedule. But I do see that it may also be a misunderstanding on their part.

From now on, I'll text the parent the day before to confirm the lesson, but it just frustrates me a bit that they haven't kept to their commitments. I have regular commitments that I have to attend weekly or every 2 weeks, and I would be letting people down if I didn't attend.

WWYD?

OP posts:
DontTouchTheMoustache · 22/10/2017 15:25

What do you mean about having fucked up? I dont think so, you can either stick to your guns which is fine but you may lose a client, or email them saying that having considered all the circumstances and them still be new to this you are willing to forgive this incident but in future the policy will be upheld.

Floralnomad · 22/10/2017 15:28

I fail to see why you are so worked up about this . They pay or they don't , let the agency deal with them . Ok you are out of pocket and inconvenienced but no one has died , just don't tutor them anymore if they are flakey ,

Original poster
CatWranglersAnonymous · 22/10/2017 15:33

Sorry I'm just feeling quite stressed (really worked up about other stuff, and finding it hard to separate my feelings about the other stuff from this).

OP posts:
Original poster
CatWranglersAnonymous · 22/10/2017 15:34

Thanks Dont and Floral Flowers

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 22/10/2017 15:45

Just don't give them a second thought , it's their loss .

musicposy · 22/10/2017 16:15

No, don't beat yourself up over it. You'll always get people who take advantage if they can with this kind of thing. Just dump them and move on. Try not to get stressed over it. Think of it positively, you'll have better experiences from now on because of it.

People rang rings round me when I first started teaching privately. They would frequently just not turn up and when I phoned the parents they'd breezily say "oh, sorry, she's at a party, didn't I say?". That never happens nowadays; they know their slot would be filled in an instant with someone else! But I didn't get there overnight. Move on, learn from it, but otherwise don't give it another thought.

Original poster
CatWranglersAnonymous · 22/10/2017 18:04

Just been messaged by the client.

They've said that I'm 'very lazy' and that I have an 'odd schedule' which isn't a 'fixed schedule', and that I 'cover random topics' (which I don't).

I'm not sure how having a lesson every two weeks at the same time on the same day isn't a fixed schedule.

OP posts:
CappuccinoCake · 22/10/2017 18:15

But it hasnt ever been every 2 weeks has it as you cancelled?

I'd accept it as they really don't want you but others will, treat it as a learning experience and be up front about timings etc... and commit to them!!

ButchyRestingFace · 22/10/2017 18:27

It's not a long term arrangement. And you do sound as if you've been a bit flakey (as do they).

The arrangement is clearly not working to the client's satisfaction and they were flakey and rude this morning.

I'd leave this entirely in the hands of the agency if I were you. That's one of the joys of working through an agency. Smile

scootinFun · 22/10/2017 18:36

Hand it over to the agency and let them earn their fee. It doesn’t sound especially long standing too me and I agree a reminder 48 hours in advance might be a plan.

Original poster
CatWranglersAnonymous · 22/10/2017 18:37

I've just been looking back over my text messages. It turns out that the client cancelled the session that I thought I'd cancelled. I originally asked two days before the session if it could be rearranged for later that day, but the client decided to cancel it.

So we had session 1 in the week starting Sept. 4th, session 2 arranged for the week starting Sept. 18th (but cancelled by the client and rearranged by them for Oct. 8th) and session 3 that was meant to be today.

So I don't think I'm being flakey in this situation.

OP posts:
scootinFun · 22/10/2017 18:39

Yeah, I’d drop them then, you don’t need the hassle

MsMarvel · 22/10/2017 18:42

Theres been nothing consistent in this at all. One session at their house, one missed session, then one Skype session.

Whether there is fault at both sides for the above, it doesn't appear very reliable or consistent

ComingUpTrumps · 22/10/2017 18:43

It was the client that missed the session, Marvel, not the OP.

MsMarvel · 22/10/2017 18:46

Wanting to change the time of the session 2 days before is unreliable though. The changed time might not have worked for them, so yeah they cancelled it, but it doesn't look great on the OP either.

ComingUpTrumps · 22/10/2017 18:50

Marvel oh come on! How is it unreliable on the OP's part to ask for an alternative time two days before?? Hmm don't mean to be rude, but you sound like a joy to work for!

If you offer an alternative time to a client that they don't have to accept, surely that's being accommodating rather than unreliable. There will always be times when clients/customers have to compromise when they're paying for a service. Or maybe not, in your experience Hmm

MsMarvel · 22/10/2017 18:55

Well if the client wasn't able to do the changed time would the op still do the normal time?

I'm not saying that these things dont or shouldn't happen, I'm just saying that for the first skype session, if I were the client, it wouldnt make a good first impression and I would be wary.

napmeistergeneral · 22/10/2017 21:12

I think Mrs Marvel is correct about impressions. Even if rearranging two days before the scheduled class is within the scope of your T&C, and even if they said yes to Skype and to that rearrangement, the impression they seem to have formed is what is driving their attitude now. You think it's reasonable, they don't, it's an impasse. I'd say describing offering an alternative as "accommodating" as per Trumps above is pushing it a bit - people have busy lives and I know that I would often struggle to juggle something already arranged with just two days' notice. And clients accepting that they will sometimes have to compromise - yes, I agree, but it's contextual. Is your relationship with that client long-standing? Are you offering a service that's rare/unique/very competitively priced? I'm not sure tuition for GCSE Spanish in a big city (London?) meets those sorts of criteria - is it not more of a buyer's market?

Leave the money stuff to the agency, chalk it up to experience, put a strategy in place as suggested above e.g. reminders 48hrs before classes. Working with clients who are private individuals rather than employees representing companies always comes with a bit of flakiness / unmanageable expectations / unreasonableness. As a freelancer you have to develop a thick skin and breeze on through (politely and competently) otherwise it will eat you up.

TinselTwins · 22/10/2017 21:21

I think they thought they'd agreed to give Skype "a go", and they dont like it.
You thought they were committing to it long term

If they wanted Skype tuition they wouldn't have gone looking for a physical lesson. It's really not the same or as engaging or motivating for some types of learners.

Did you not check the route before agreeing to the first physical lesson?

TinselTwins · 22/10/2017 21:23

No. YOU cancelled that lesson, offering an alternative time that didn't suit them does not = them cancelling!

Original poster
CatWranglersAnonymous · 22/10/2017 22:24

No. YOU cancelled that lesson, offering an alternative time that didn't suit them does not = them cancelling!

Sorry Tinsel I'm not sure I understand.

OP posts:
deepestdarkestperu · 22/10/2017 22:32

You cancelled by texting them to re-arrange to a different time. I would be pretty pissed off if that happened to me and it was only the second session, sorry.

I think you've given them a pretty unprofessional impression and as a result, they can't really be bothered with it all. They should have text to cancel, but tbh I can't blame them for not wanting to continue.

musicposy · 22/10/2017 22:51

That's quite rude of the client and I probably wouldn't grace it with an answer. You don't think it's justified, they do. Move on. Bear in mind for the future that a longstanding pupil who already values your lessons will be far more forgiving of you changing the odd time than a fairly new one. Changing the time/ cancelling a fairly new pupil is often death to the arrangement, I'm afraid, as they don't yet know you won't do it every week. I have to say that if I asked a pupil to change times and they said they couldn't and cancelled, I'd count that as me cancelling, not them.

As to the random subjects, how do you decide what to cover, and is this made clear to the client? For some of my pupils I simply work on what they need help on - and so it can feel quite random. But this is always in agreement with the pupil and they decide, not me. The downside of this is you can't plan, the upside is the pupil gets immediate help on what is holding them back in class that week. You have to be pretty confident of your subject and teaching ability to do it well.

Alternatively I find out the grade pupils are aiming for (you should do this anyway, along with the exam board they're taking) and target that. Those trying to pass, who need a 4 or 5, I make sure they are really good on all the basics as that usually pulls them through. The kind of pupil who is hoping for a 7-9, however, is a different kettle of fish and I will specifically target the top end of the curriculum only. At all times the pupil is on board with what we are doing and why.

I'm only saying this, because however well planned you think your lessons are, they may be coming across as random to the pupil, or they probably wouldn't comment on it. You're dumping this pupil but you don't want a repeat in the future, so have a think about what I've said. The above isn't done to attack or criticise you, (I know you're stressed and am not trying to add to it) I'm just trying to help so things are better for you than this with your current other/ later new pupils. Keep posting for advice as there are plenty of experienced people on here talking a lot of sense.

MyKingdomForBrie · 22/10/2017 23:08

Just learn from this one and move on. I’d just say you and this client haven’t gelled, next time you’ll know to be more firm on time and date i.e. pick a time and stick to it - any changes/cancellations to be avoided unless as a pp said illness.

TinselTwins · 22/10/2017 23:08

What don't you understand about it?

Cancelling the agreed time and offering a later time still = you being the one who cancels.

Then not uptaking your offer of an alternative (of which you only offered ONE, not much of a cencession), does not make them responsible for the cancellation.

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