Mess in the bedrooms vs Mess downstairs

[Worriedaboutnail]

DH and I have had a big barney this morning. He has this ridiculous need to put loads of his crap on the dining table (which is in our lounge at the back), so when we have anyone over, they obviously sit in the lounge and as soon as they walk in, there’s see a big pile of shit on the table (things like papers, bills, folders, battery packs, wires, headphones, money, tape measures etc).

After 3 weeks of it being there I asked him to move it this morning. Apparently I’m a hypocrite because in our bedroom, I leave my dressing gown and pyjamas hanging on the door, I leave my straighteners and make up on the dressing table, and I have a few bits of clothes scattered about - which are work clothes such as tights or cardigans. Most are things I actually use continuosly throughout the week and then tidy up on a Friday evening. He doesn’t touch his table stuff, it can be the same untouched pile for months.

In my view a bit of a mess in the bedrooms is fine as no guest will be going up there to see it, and further more we relax downstairs and it’s hard to do that surrounded by junk. He says it’s the same.

Aibu?

Move it all and put it on his side of the bed. Seems fair and then you aren't hypocritical cos his mess is in the bedroom too

Do would do this if left to his own devices - its laziness. We have an allocated pull out cupboard/draw that I put everything in when I clear up so if/when he needs it he knows where to look. Some of it has been in there for years and never been touched!!

It sounds to me like your stuff is where is should be (apart from perhaps the assorted clothes) and his is just dumped.
How can you eat if his stuff is there?

Olennas snap...it's always our bedroom that suffers when we have guests! The whole house looks lovely, as long as our bedroom door stays shut!

Compromise and keep the bedroom tidy too?

He needs a space. There should be a space for everything and if he doesn't have a place for these things (assuming they are necessary) then this indicates the need for one. Your things are in the spaces for which they are intended.

We have a nice basket that now resembles that episode in the simpsons when no one would put the bin out... he keeps saying he’ll sort it tomorrow ....