No whispering at the table

[MyLittleMoney]

dd3 has a friend, they are both 6 years old. Friend whispers about me and my other dds whenever she is at our house, either at the dining table or elsewhere.

AIBU to tell her (and dd3) "please no whispering at the table"? BTW it's not cute whispering it seems like this girl is gossiping. I don't usually hear what exactly is being said but there she whispers and glances at me and my other dds.

No way would I allow that.

It's not 'paranoia' to feel uncomfortable with people whispering in front of you.

Actually it is slightly paranoid to feel uncomfortable with a 6 year old whispering in front of you

I also don't think that it's all that bad.

Just kids wanting to talk together.

I find it very rude and I would tell her “no whispering at the table” without the please!

You are definitely right to nip it in the bud! I had some friends round with their kids the other day their children are 4 and 5. I was bent over picking things up off the floor and I heard whispering and giggling from the children...I ignored it for a while and then I said erm boys what are you giggling & whispering at? One of them turned round and said very loudly “you’ve got a big fat bum” I was quite shocked and gently said that’s not very nice and turned round to the Mum expecting to her to say something too...She just said her child’s name loudly and started laughing the two boys then started giggling and then the mum started whispering to the other Mum!...I then told the boys again it’s not very nice and no more whispering!

Two of my work colleagues who I can’t stand whisper all the time...I just feel like saying “you’re being so damn rude” and creating unnecessary paranoia in an already stressful environment!

It’s just basic manners young or old.

My 6 year old is finding her way around things like keeping secrets, privacy, surprises and the like. Part of that is whispering "secrets", usually asking about going to soft play, swimming etc - the content isn't important to her, it's being able to ask something quietly, being trusted to keep a secret. She sometimes whispers at the table and while we work hard on good table manners I'm not going tell her off because I know what it's about for her, it's part of her processing relationships etc, she doesn't do it outside of the home and she's 6, she isn't being malicious or nasty, she trying things out and like most things, she'll grow out of it.

I don't think you're being unreasonable to ask her not to whisper if you don't like it, but ascribing malice to a 6 year old is a nonsense.