AIBU to be cross about my inlaws (particularly Mother in law's) behaviour after birth of our son?
Our baby boy was born prematurely. he was fine, just a bit early. as first time parents we were naturally a bit nervous etc (as well as ecstatic obviously) when we brought him home. However a big source of stress for me was the way my in laws went on during and after this time. I want to know are my feelings normal or AIBU...
first sat night after dc home from hospital...mil (who had flu at the time) banged on door/window at 10.45pm. this made dog bark and baby cry and me panic as I'd no idea who was banging on door. by time I settled baby found door key etc she was gone. she continued to call very late at night despite being asked (really nicely) not too as it wasn't convenient with feeding/napping etc. I felt that after visitors all day and looking after dc there came a point that it was nice to settle in for the night (with noone calling at door/having to entertain etc.) btw to avoid confusion mil is not the sort to be coming to lend a hand, more the sort to sit expecting to be waited on hand and foot and wittering on about herself. after a while I got the impression that it was bugging her that she cudnt call at a time that suited her (nocturnal hours) e.g. making a point of calling at 8.30pm one night and making a song and dance about how me and hubby 'had things to get on with, i'll not keep u back' etc then very next night calling at 10.45pm and banging window again (which set dog and baby off)...I really felt this was to annoy me or get at me. wen it came to organising baby's christening the priest had another one before us, so depending on venue he wasn't sure wen we booked it if it wud b at 2 or 3pm. on hearing this mil commented to hubby that I was being deliberately vague on purpose.
Cut to baby's first Christmas...mil turned up unannounced one evening banging door and windows. I was in shower and baby napping. again this woke baby, panicked dog etc and created undue stress in the house. by the time I was decent they were gone. I thought nothing of it as we were due to call to them the next night (thought I'd explain why cudnt get to door then). in interim mil had reported this to all other inlaws, called me every name under the sun, said I had pnd and I deliberately avoided them. she also rang me (pissed as a fart) intent on starting a row with me, and told me I better look after her son and grandson, and I was no longer welcome at her house. I was in tears Xmas eve with annoyance of it all. new years day she rang bold as brass wanting to come up to see baby. for sake of my hubby's feelings and to keep the peace I said she was more than welcome to call. however it was only wen she arrived I realised she was drunk!
this was all a while ago now but looking back I wonder was I being unreasonable to let her irritate me so much or is she selfish and beyond inconsiderate? I do definitely regret having any of the above events as a memory of my baby's first days/months. I will always be civil to her as she is mil BUT in every other sense i want absolutely nothing to do with her and think very little of her. AIBU??