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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Friend turning gym into competition

21 replies

SanbonChudanUke · 20/10/2017 12:20

I joined a gym 6 months ago. Lost a stone in weight. Friend had a baby and wanted to lose baby weight so joined gym on my recommendation.

3 months down the line and she's constantly sending me her gym schedule and asking what weight I am or how many calories I've burnt per day. She's joined all the same classes as me apart from the Craig Charles class and that's only because of the time difference.

I don't want this to be a competition. I'm not into one upmanship and competing for weight loss. She's turned it into a chore. Constantly comparing and analysing. AIBU to tell her I like training with her but out of the gym I don't want to discuss it?

OP posts:

Msqueen33 · 20/10/2017 12:26

Either be blunt and say it's annoying or just keep shutting it down. "That's nice but have you seen this in the news" etc. I've heard a few people when their friends start dieting they hear about it all the time.

MonkeyJumping · 20/10/2017 12:40

Some people like that kind of competition with gym buddies, they think it's motivating. If you don't like it you'll need to tell her straight you're not finding it helpful and don't want to discuss it.

CoughLaughFart · 20/10/2017 12:42

I know it's not relevant, but I'm assuming 'Craig Charles class' is a bizarre autocorrect fail?

SloeSloeQuickQuickGin · 20/10/2017 12:45

She needs/wants a benchmark.

I'd love a gym buddy but all my mates are too lazy . I see where she is coming from, just tell her you are doing it to keep fit, not to transform into a 1970's stereotype of a Soviet Bloc shot putter

NewPapaGuinea · 20/10/2017 12:48

Tell her if she wants to compete, start Crossfit

Birdsgottafly · 20/10/2017 12:48

I agree about being blunt.

There will be a discussion group on exercise or My fitness type Forums if she needs that motivation.

HundredMilesAnHour · 20/10/2017 12:50

I've had friends like this and it's really irritating. I just shut them down with either "I haven't decided" or "I don't track calories". If necessary, I follow up with "I've told you before that I don't track calories" etc. Eventually they lose interest. But I must admit that their competitive nature did affect our friendship. Friends should be supportive not competitive. I was lucky as I also had some supportive friends and we encouraged each other in the gym rather than competed. No prizes for guessing which ones are still my friends.

Laiste · 20/10/2017 12:53

AIBU to tell her I like training with her but out of the gym I don't want to discuss it?

You're not unreasonable at all. If this friend means a lot to you do it gently over coffee and cake carrot sticks, if not just be blunt as you have been here. She needs to know.

florenceandthefig · 20/10/2017 13:18

Craig Charles class? I need to know more about this class....

2rebecca · 20/10/2017 13:28

Agree with just telling her you don't want your gym going to turn in to a competition and just want to get fitter and have fun. A lot of the calorie burning data from machines and apps is nonsense anyway. If you're feeling fitter and able to do more and are toning up and losing weight if you want to lose weight the exact numbers are irrelevant.

IsThatYouPaul · 20/10/2017 13:37

I'm just here for the 'Craig Charles class' reveal.

TinyDoom · 20/10/2017 13:41

On the one hand, I had a friend who did this, except that she was much fitter than me, and I found it incredibly patronising when she'd point out that she had done much better than I had, but not to worry, I'd get fitter as time went on, and I ended up quitting the gym and going elsewhere.

On the other hand, I really want to take a Craig Charles class!

whiteroseredrose · 20/10/2017 13:49

Keep your answer to 'I've no idea'.

That sort of thing drives me nuts. I started swimming and my mum kept asking me how many lengths I'd done. No idea! I wasn't counting just swam till I'd had enough and got out.

specialsubject · 20/10/2017 13:55

Also desperate to know what you learn with Craig Charles!!

Meanwhile if you dont want to be in the playground, just ignore her.

TeachesOfPeaches · 20/10/2017 13:58

Is the Craig Charles class a funk and soul Saturday night dance party?

TathitiPete · 20/10/2017 14:29

YANBU OP I'd bloody hate this too. She needs to find someone with a similiar interest in competitive gymming.

I also would consider taking a Craig Charles class

SnowBallsAreHere · 20/10/2017 14:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GreyBird84 · 20/10/2017 14:42

Les Mills class?

YANBU OP, tell her your not interested you are doing it as a hobby.

Original poster

SanbonChudanUke · 20/10/2017 16:18

The woman who runs it looks like Craig Charles.

I don't want to demotivate her as she's doing so well but it's putting me off going

OP posts:

Funkyslippers · 20/10/2017 18:07

The woman who runs it looks like Craig Charles.
Disappointment of the year :D

A1Sharon · 20/10/2017 18:10

I think you have already said what you need to say to her,
I don't want this to be a competition. I'm not into one upmanship and competing for weight loss

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