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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

if I employ an independent midwife to give me the best possible chance of a homebirth?

42 replies

twinkle5 · 12/04/2007 10:14

I am 32 week pg with my first baby. Quite early on DH and I decided that a homebirth was the most appealing option for us. Our NHS midwife was very positive and cemented our descision with her backing. We live in a high homebirth rate area.
However, at the 28wk appointment our midwife told us that if lots of women go into labour at the same time as me, then it is likely that we would be asked to go in to hospital as they are understaffed. We decided that to avoid this situation, we would employ an independent midwife for the birth. I have just had a 32wk appointment with the NHS midwife and told her this- she appologised for the state of the NHS and asked us to write a letter to the head of midwifery explaining our reasoning. Anyway, I feel terrible- I have been more than happy with the care so far, and part of me thinks that I should just take my chances with the NHS. Equally, I really want to be at home.
What would you do?

OP posts:

kittylette · 12/04/2007 10:16

they (NHS) HAVE to find you a midwife,

when i had my homebirth they said there werent any midwives available when i went into labour, i told them i wasnt going into hospital and a midwife from another hospital miles away turned up,

they have to send someone

Original poster

twinkle5 · 12/04/2007 10:21

I would probably not be assertive enough to say 'I'm staying put'! Equally, if they really are short staffed, then I don't want to be really selfish and 'demand' my own midwife team at the expense of other women in hospital.

OP posts:

piglit · 12/04/2007 10:23

How about a doula? Speak to the lovely Lulumama. She's a doula and knows all about them.

ejt1764 · 12/04/2007 10:23

It wouldn't be at the expense of another woman in hospital ... the community teams would just go to the next trust and get one of their 'surplus' midwives out ... my neighbour had that - we live in Cardiff, and the midwife ended up coming from Bridgend as there were none available from the team she was booked with.

Don't worry about it too much. They have to tell you the worst case scenario ....

MrsBadger · 12/04/2007 10:24

Employ the independent midwife if you can afford it, write a really corking letter to the Head and don't feel bad.
It'll give the department more clout when they apply for more mdwifery funding, so really you'd be doing them a favour and enabling more women (who might not be able to afford an independent midwife) to have a homebirth if they want to.

Pollyanna · 12/04/2007 10:26

Hi there! I'd take the risk, but I'm tighter than you!

ejt1764 · 12/04/2007 10:28

Good point MrsBadger!

SweetyDarling · 12/04/2007 10:28

I would have thought the private option would be ideal. You will know exactly who will be looking after you and I would have thought this familiarity is a big part of what you are looking for in a homebirth? Better than having a total stranger turn up in your home on the big day bc the lcal hospital was short staffed and had to drag someone in from another hospital?

lulumama · 12/04/2007 10:30

tricky one ! a doula is a good idea, regardless of home or hospital birth....but cannot deliver the baby!

IM- she will give you one to one care for this last part of your pregnancy and obviously throughout labour and birth

re the 'they have to send someone' - yes they do BUT, there was a Mnetter who ended up having to go into hospital for this very reason, so it can happen,

you can of course refuse to go in as you are entitled to a homebirth, and the community midwives should be there to cover it.....

if your area is a high home birth area, they should be able to deal with this situation

be worth seeing ig you can find an IM who can take you on as you are 32 weeks already!

a doula can support you at home, and keep you going, and support you, and perhaps even liase with the hospital when you are in labour if there is an issue with the home birth

it is not your fault there are not enough midwives, and if you have the funds to get an IM, then go for it, but the PCT are obliged to provide midwives for a homebirth

i;d get in touch with the head of midwifery and stress your desire for a homebirth

EllieKthePA · 12/04/2007 10:31

I'd be inclinde to think from what the MW said that she agrees with you it's not fair and wants you to write the letter so that maybe someone will start listening? if you put in the letter that you're more than happy with the care you have received so far but feel that due to no fault of their own, the MW's cannot guarantee you the birth you want, then you praise the MW whilst still getting at the execs

motherinferior · 12/04/2007 10:34

I think in practice it is hard to insist on 'staying put' (I was nearly faced with this: I know other MNers, no shrinking violets they, who were told they 'had to' come into hospital, and did).

If you're happy with the care you've received so far, I'm sure there is a way of finding out how many women are roughly scheduled for home births in your area at around the same time as you - the midwifery unit at your hospital should know, I'd think.

Original poster

twinkle5 · 12/04/2007 10:39

Mrs Badger- one reason I am so reluctant to pay for a IMW is because I know I am very lucky that we can afford to pay for this option and think that it should be available to all regardless of income IYSWIM.

Lulumama- we have already provisionally booked with the IMW- tomorrow I either pay or back out- still to be decided!

Pollyanna- shouldn't you be working!

OP posts:

nearlythere · 12/04/2007 10:39

i had to do this as well! but like someone else said at least i knew who was coming- she let me lead the way and did exactly what i asked of her- in the end i had a really great homebirth with no complications and no regrets- i would do it all again tomorrow and i will go private for the birth next time too!

MissGolightly · 12/04/2007 10:56

"Mrs Badger- one reason I am so reluctant to pay for a IMW is because I know I am very lucky that we can afford to pay for this option and think that it should be available to all regardless of income IYSWIM."

Twinkle, I agree with you in principle, but in this case I don't think that staying at home and "demanding" a homebirth at the expense of another woman (whether she's in the same trust as you or not), or martyring yourself in hospital when you don't want/need to be there, is going to help less able woman than you. It seems to me that by getting an IM and writing a stinking letter you will be doing more to help the situation.

fridayschild · 12/04/2007 11:04

We had a midwife shortage for homebirths the night DS1 was born. Especially with a first labour it is incredibly stressful not knowing how dilated you really are, what is happening etc. It was worse for DH than for me, actually. I do not think the advice that you know you are entitled to someone and you should therefore just demand it at the time is terribly constructive. It can be tricky getting the hopsital to pick up the phone, frankly, never mind anything else. We did get a midwife at home in the end, but only because her previous customer had had an incredibly short labour.

Can you flush out whether they are just warning you that sometimes this happens, or whether it is a real risk? Happens a lot in South London, we knew that and thought wrongly that a stroppy cow like me would get even stroppier in labour! My suggestion would be to get the independent midwife if a home birth is important to you. And write the letter as well!

kittyhas6 · 12/04/2007 11:09

Twinkle, I had my second home birth on Sunday.
When in labour with the first birth the hospital told me they were short staffed and could I go in . I said no so they sent someone.

On Sunday I had no probs being attended to at home.

TBH I think I think it is really just the luck of the draw. The chances are it'll be fine.

An independent costs an awful lot, could that money be better spent elsewhere? I've had doulas with all my vaginal births, couldn't have done it without them

Spidermama · 12/04/2007 11:11

I had four home births with indie MWs. They were fantastic. I can't recommend them highly enough. In fact one woman was at all my births. I feel very lucky.

The day I signed off with the NHS and on with the Indie MWs I felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders and I began to enjoy my pregnancy and the prospect of giving birth.

Dinosaur · 12/04/2007 11:13

If you can afford an independent midwife and you are very keen on a homebirth, then I think you should not hesitate to have an independent midwife. As motherinferior said, it can be difficult to be assertive when you are in the throes of labour (especially first time around).

MrsBadger · 12/04/2007 11:14

now I am getting interested in spite of myself...

Will independent midwives only take on women with uncomplicated pregnancies and no supposed risk factors? Or does it depend on the IMW's own judgement?

Spidermama · 12/04/2007 11:17

Mine took on all sorts. They used to relish breeches and VBAC and the like.

Spidermama · 12/04/2007 11:21

The best thing to do is meet them to see if you connect with them before booking. I did, immmediately. It was a blessed relief.

I felt totally supported yet in control. I never had any pain relief in any of my labours and births, hardly any intervention, no wiring up to anything.

This is one of the big things in my life I've done right and I will always feel glad about it. We couldn't really afford them every time (DH is an actor so his earnings are sporadic), but we just HAD to prioritise and go without other things.

It was an excellent start to motherhood and I had help and support breastfeeding so I've always been a very successful breast feeder.

Like I say, I can't recommend them strongly enough.

Pollyanna · 12/04/2007 11:22

my view is, if you can afford it, go for it. You will be guaranteed the homebirth you want. If not, arrange to have a doula and proceed on the basis that you will get your home birth (can't Becki help you?). When you are in labour, if you are asked to go into hospital, get dh to be as pushy as he can be. You could be asked to go to hospital for lots of reasons other than a staff shortage.

(I am at work btw! - mil with children today eek!).

Londonmamma · 12/04/2007 11:22

Definitely employ an independent midwife and write as many letters as you like to anyone who can help sort out the NHS midwifery service. Your lovely NHS midwife will not take it as a slure on her - they KNOW how overstretched they are and they hate it.

I had a lovely homebirth with an independent MW after a horrible hospital first birth so if you can afford it go for it. In fact go for it even if you can't afford it and make the economies elsewhere!!!

Pollyanna · 12/04/2007 11:24

Spidermama - I was banned from a homebirth by the NHS - I don't know if an independent midwife would have taken me (had a dvt in my first pregnancy), but I was lucky (!), I only had one bad experience in hospital.

aviatrix · 12/04/2007 11:27

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