AIBU - Should I let it go????

[Cannottdecide]

Hi all,

I can't decide what to do.

I am a single parent, I work part-time have mortgage etc.

Child's father sees his child at weekends but doesn't pay regular maintenance, recently due to unemployment but in the past no reasons.

Child has school trip which happens to include one of dads weekend visits, I send him details and ask if he is OK for child to go, if so he pays (this is our agreement)

Dad agrees that child can go, but says can't afford it, so will only pay half. - I understand he is not working so I agree to pay the balance so that child gets to go.

Problem is that the day after I commit myself financially and agree to this, I find out that dad has now got a very highly paid job in the city but didn't inform me of this fact and can now certainly afford to pay in full!!

I will really struggle to find my half of the money for this trip, should I make an issue about this or let it go??

Has he only just started the job? If so he may not have been paid yet and still working “in arrears” waiting for the first pay packet. Maybe ask him if he plans to reimburse you now he has work?

I’d tell him you’ve heard about his job and ask for an increased contribution. You wouldn’t be being unreasonable to ask. It sounds like maybe he is a bit difficult when it comes to supporting his child financially tho? So he’s likely to refuse your request. I’m not sure there’s much you can do about that

Thanks both, I've no idea how long he has been working, I think at least a month.

I could ask him and I could also refuse to pay all of the balance and attempt to force his hand to pay more, but does doing that then make me unreasonable?

Contact CSA & ask for help due to non/ irregular payment?
Long term, this would be of more use than a bit extra for a school trip.

If he now has a regular real job you need to go through CMS and set up a proper system. Then you wouldn’t need to worry about wheedling this shitbag to step up and do his part.

Oh yes the call to CMS has been made, but it took 6 months to get income details last time then he never actually paid before changing jobs etc so my arrears are substantial! I live on my money and if I ever get anything from CMS /him, then (after I pick myself off the floor) I will use it as a holiday/savings money.