Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

To not get on the floor and play with my DD?

25 replies

SnorkellingCat · 19/10/2017 18:19

DD is 2, but has a speech delay of around 12 months, a Global Developmental Delay, and several other conditions not really relevant to this post.

Of course I do play with her but not really on the floor; we dance to the radio, have tickle fights, I read books to her and point out the pictures, we have baths together and have mini water fights in the bath, I rock or pretend to feed her doll if she brings her too me, I chase her round the park or we kick a ball together. We watch TV together snuggled under a blanket.

But I don't really get on the floor and play with her dolls house or her farm animals as she seems to get upset when I do it wrong and can't tell me what I should be doing.

I do feel a bit guilty about it, but I just find it as frustrating as she does. She's in Nursery 3 days a week while I work so I feel a bit guilty and like she misses out on time with me. Some of my earliest memories are of my mum playing on the floor with me and my dolls house, putting the dolls to bed etc. I want that so badly for my DD but I just don't enjoy it at the moment. I'm hoping as her speech improves we'll play on the floor.

So AIBU to not get on the floor and play with my DD? Fully prepared to be told I am

OP posts:

Aeroflotgirl · 19/10/2017 18:22

There are no rules, I always found being on the floor uncomfortable, so used to play on tabletop or read on the sofa. Your doing fine, there are no rights and wrongs.

Pengggwn · 19/10/2017 18:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gilead · 19/10/2017 18:25

You sound like a lovely Mum, just carry on as you are, it obviously works for both of you.

Aeroflotgirl · 19/10/2017 18:26

Or put puzzles or toys on table top and play there. I found that more comfortable.

Original poster

SnorkellingCat · 19/10/2017 18:26

Pengggwn DD can't tell me she enjoys it or not, and I don't really enjoy it as she gets frustrated when I don't do thinks right like I put the dolls to bed but that's not what she wanted, but can't tell me because of her speech delay.

OP posts:

Pengggwn · 19/10/2017 18:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Urubu · 19/10/2017 18:29

You seem to be saying that playing on the floor = imaginative role play.
I often play on the floor with the DC to do a puzzle for ex, or build a train track or a duplo structure. Could you do that?

NowtAbout · 19/10/2017 18:29

I have always hated doing this sort of play with my children. I love all sorts of other things to do with them but even when they could speak I always do it wrong. More to the point it's just fucking boring

Aeroflotgirl · 19/10/2017 18:29

Just let her direct the play, don't use too much language. I went on the Hanen more than words course for DD who has Asd, developmental and speech and language delay. Say less and stress (emphasise).

nightshade · 19/10/2017 18:38

I never did...she is also young...as long as she has opportunity herself to move around the floor ...talk whilst she is playing..help a little bit when walking past or sitting beside her...you don't need to be glued to the floor..

Raver84 · 19/10/2017 18:39

If your at home with her you shpuld sit and play a few puzzles or lego with her. The floor is her level and you will be making good eye contact etc with her. Why not just do it for one hour a day?

Original poster

SnorkellingCat · 19/10/2017 18:41

We do puzzles sat at her childs table and chairs and me next to her, and if she's playing on the floor I do talk to her I'm just not down there playing with her.

OP posts:

Turkeyneck · 19/10/2017 18:46

I wouldn't worry. With my son I did play on the floor with him, he engaged with me like that so it happened naturally. My dd however hates me doing it all wrong, like yours, and it just doesn't seem to work!

Aquamarine1029 · 19/10/2017 18:50

What if you sat on the floor away from her and played with something on your own. Perhaps she would be interested and come over to see what you are doing. If she tries to take over or gets upset, you could direct her back to her toys. It's not too early to try and teach her how to cooperate.

treaclesoda · 19/10/2017 18:50

I never, or very rarely, sat on the floor playing with my children. They aren't scarred by it.

I was happy to drink pretend cups of tea when they were brought to me, have pretend sword fights with foam swords, pretend to be on a pirate ship, all sorts of things. But I think it's perfectly ok for children to know that lying on the floor playing with farm animals/toy cars/Playmobil is something that children do, not grownups. If you want to play like that of course it's ok, but I don't think there is anything wrong with not doing it.

Pengggwn · 19/10/2017 18:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

SnorkellingCat · 19/10/2017 18:55

Treacle My DD makes the best pretend cup of tea ever, and the best pretend chicken roast

OP posts:

MoMandaS · 19/10/2017 18:55

YANBU at all, but do you know about Intensive Interaction? The idea is basically that you observe what they're doing at their level and start copying it - they then (theoretically) start to feel more engagement with you and encouraged to communicate. Have a look into it, maybe, because I probably haven't explained it very well.

DailyMailReadersAreThick · 19/10/2017 18:59

I have no memories of any adult playing on the floor with me. When I think back to my earliest memories it was with the adult on the sofa or in a chair. I've never even noticed, let alone thought it was something I missed out on!

Jenala · 19/10/2017 19:13

If it's any consolation I tend not to get on the floor with my DC. I do the things you have described and I think it's fine. It's not like you aren't playing with her at all

Felixandtheflippers · 19/10/2017 19:21

You are doing an amazing job- I am sure you have enough on your plate and even if you didn’t you do way more than many other parents. You are showing your child many different ways to “play” and just because you won’t get on the floor to do imaginative play does not mean that your child is missing out from you getting on the floor or missing out from imaginative play. I find tahat children love imaginative play much more by themselves or with a younger person to boss about! X x

mctat · 19/10/2017 19:31

'Just let her direct the play, don't use too much language.'

I agree with this. Her play is hers, no need for you to be super involved so long as you are connecting at other times (which you clearly are). Just observe and she will let you know if she wants your involvement (even if it's just a look for now). If she doesn't, it's actually better not to interrupt her flow If she does and you're really not feeling it, it's fine to say no. You're being authentic, which is a great gift.

Can't highlight now but I think the Intensive Interaction suggested sounds a bit contrived.

mctat · 19/10/2017 19:32

But perhaps do some research on the benefits of independent play. So good for her.

SandysMam · 19/10/2017 19:36

Buy her a big fuck off Sylvanian Family House with all the trimmings, my friends DD has one of these and every grown woman I know can't get enough of it!! Getting toys you enjoy too might help take you back to your child hood a bit and make it easier to do this sort of thing.
Seriously though, some people do nothing with their kids, you sound like you do plenty.

Popsicle434544 · 19/10/2017 19:44

One of boys had severe speech delay, when i used to play with him he would get incredibly frustrated cause i wasnt doing it his way but didnt have the speech to tell me, so instead of joining in i just sat on the floor with him, talking to him about what he was doing, asking him to do things (oh thats looks fun, show me how to do that) kind of thing, although i wasnt playing, i was there and he felt my presence.

My eldest who is 18 says one of her earliest memories is us sat on floor having a pretend tea party.

Yes its uncomfortable to be sat on the floor and maybe u will get a bit bored but pls do it, especially because of the speech delay xx

Flip