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AIBU?

TMI - friend's wife's impending birth

97 replies

Sprinklestar · 19/10/2017 14:00

Had a text from friend re his wife's latest check up. Baby due imminently. But did he really need to share how many centimetes dilated she already is? Isn't that a bit too personal?! And would his wife really want all and sundry to know the state of her nethers? Maybe I'm old fashioned but in my day, you went to the hospital, gave birth, and that was that. There was no examination in the weeks leading up to the birth to tell you if you'd started dilating yet. And there was certainly no need to share any of this info with your team in the workplace!

OP posts:

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PuppyMonkey · 19/10/2017 14:40

is it that common to be dilated before labour has begun? Maybe he shared because it's quite unusual?

NC4now · 19/10/2017 14:43

Well you've now shared (minus a few details) to the whole internet, so....

Terrylene · 19/10/2017 14:45

TMI for me. Not sure I would be interested about a colleagues wife's 36 week check up at all, beyond them both being fine.

PinkHeart5914 · 19/10/2017 14:45

I just don’t see how that is TMI tbh, he only said how many centimetres presumably because he is just overexcited about the baby arriving soon

diddl · 19/10/2017 14:50

"is it that common to be dilated before labour has begun?"

I wouldn't have thought so.

Can't think that many women have a check up & are found to be in labour.

So if he's put "went for check up & was x cms!" I think that I'd understand that.

I had gone into hospital as my waters had gone, lost the mucus plug so told midwife-no pain at all as yet-was 8cms.

It may have been something that I mentioned afterwards!

Wightintheghoulies · 19/10/2017 14:51

I just don’t see how that is TMI tbh, he only said how many centimetres presumably because he is just overexcited about the baby arriving soon

Oh, so it's ok to over share private medical details, because he's excited? I might share with everyone exactly how much my partner's haemorrhoids have shrunk by, because I'm excited that soon he'll be able to go to the toilet and not come back with descriptions of how it's going...

Being excited about his new arrival is not a reason to give updates on how his wife's lady bits are doing.

blanklook · 19/10/2017 14:52

Text him back and tell him not to share that sort of info unless his wife tells him she wants it made public.

confusedlittleone · 19/10/2017 14:53

It's actually very common to be 1-2cm for days/weeks before being in labour

Lweji · 19/10/2017 14:56

It depends.

Did he post an illustrative photo?

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 19/10/2017 14:56

He's just excited I suppose.

At least there wasn't a picture included.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 19/10/2017 14:57

Got there before me Lweji!

Lweji · 19/10/2017 14:57

Great minds.

Sprinklestar · 19/10/2017 14:58

Yes - no picture (thankfully!).

OP posts:

AndrewJames · 19/10/2017 15:00

"is it that common to be dilated before labour has begun?"

I wouldn't have thought so.Can't think that many women have a check up & are found to be in labour.

They aren't in labour, the clue is in the question you replied to: dilated before labour. And the answer is yes, its very common. If you are dilated a small bit you are not in labour and you can be dilated a little for weeks before you do go into labour.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 19/10/2017 15:01

I didn't know you could be dilated before labour. It really hurts to dilate as it's caused by contractions isn't it? I would have thought 36 weeks was early to start contracting?

I honestly wouldn't be bothered if my dh shared that info with other people though.

AndrewJames · 19/10/2017 15:05

It doesn't hurt to dilate at the start, no.

diddl · 19/10/2017 15:08

"If you are dilated a small bit you are not in labour and you can be dilated a little for weeks before you do go into labour."

Well this is what we don't know, isn't it?

It was Op putting that baby is due imminently that made me think that the colleagues wife is in labour--and her being 36wks.

Weepatchesoflove · 19/10/2017 15:09

ghosty that made me laugh. I’d not be bothered, as others have said, it is a part of labour. I think if anyone said it to me, I’d think they maybe were near to labour, but it certainly isn’t the worst that you could have been told. Now, when I was in labour....

Jaxhog · 19/10/2017 15:10

I think social media encourages this oversharing.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 19/10/2017 15:13

It doesn't hurt to dilate at the start

I remember being in agony on gas and air for several hours and then being told I was 3cm dilated. Some women have all the luck, walking around not even knowing.

diddl · 19/10/2017 15:17

"I would have thought 36 weeks was early to start contracting? "

Why would it be?

It's what needs to happen for the baby to be born.

Premature labour also?

Ameliablue · 19/10/2017 15:18

I don't think I'd want that sort of information to be shared, not so much because it's personal, more because it's not really very interesting to anyone else and he's in danger of boring people with baby news before it's even born.

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ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 19/10/2017 15:20

Premature labour is early labour though. Although not uncommon I agree.

diddl · 19/10/2017 15:22

"Premature labour is early labour though. "

Yes, but you have contractions.

TheFirstMrsDV · 19/10/2017 15:31

I don't know how old you are but it was very normal to say things like 'she is xx dilated/head is engaged/waters have broken' in my day and I am 50!

Why is it TMI, because its alluding to Lady Bits?

How ghastly.

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