To ask 18 year old student son to pay board?

[SharonsWineGlass]

18 year old DS lives with us but is at uni full time. He's got a good student loan with no living costs. He currently has £2k sat his bank and has just had another £1k put in today which he's bragging about. He contributes nothing to the household, no finance, no housework, won't even put the dishwasher on without moaning.

He's basically living the life of Riley.

Meanwhile DH and I (not his dad) are working full time and coming home to housework and cooking. DS seems to be at uni for a max of 6 hours a week and spends the rest of his time making a mess and playing computer games whilst buying himself expensive steak for a lunch time, clothes and gadgets.

AIBU to ask for a token contribution of say, £50 a month when a) we're not short of money but not exactly rolling in it either and b) his money is actually a loan?

He also works part time (8 hours a week).

Definitely charge for until I tied and for £30 a week perhaps? Also don’t do his washing etc my mum did everything for myself and my brother and we had no clue when we left home!!!!

I think it's more than fair to insist your son contributes something to the household.

Yes his loan will be less for living at home rather than in Halls but he's still getting the maintenance money to pay for his living expenses and therefore he should be contributing at least a token amount and also pulling his weight with household chores.

When my brother was at the local university my parents charged him £100 a month board so that he got used to some basic budgeting. Because they didn't need the money they put it into a separate bank account and when he graduated and was looking into moving out, my parents gave him that money back to put towards a deposit on his own place - though he wasn't aware that they were planning to do that when he was actually paying them the money.

My parents laid out what exactly was included in his "board" - it covered general groceries & meals, laundry and general cleaning but he was responsible for keeping his own room to a liveable standard; buying any thing that was for his personal use - mum would do the food shop and cook family meals which he was always included in, but if he wanted specific food/snacks then he had to buy them; they would buy generic toiletries that he was welcome to use but if he wanted specific expensive brands then it was down to him to buy them etc.

He was also still expected to act as a member of the household and contribute like the rest of us - clothes would get washed but only if they were in his laundry basket and brought down when asked; if he joined the family meals then he was still expected to help with clearing up and take a turn in the washing up rota like the rest of us etc

Asking for money isn't addressing the problem here.

He needs to contribute to the household.

Tell him he can either contribute to the family home (cook a few meals, wash up/dishwasher, bit of cleaning etc) or he can move out and do all that all the time and pay all his bills.

Basic life work isn't optional for adults, him paying £50 a month to be treated as a child won't help you or him.

If he's still amassing money (at approx 0% interest) he should think of taking less loan which he will later spend several % repaying

To start with I'd remind him that his 3 grand has to last him until the middle of January, and he'll need some saved in case he can't find a job in the summer.

But although I probably wouldn't charge 'rent', he should be contributing to household expenses. Groceries for a start - perhaps you rotate who pays, or agree a split each time. And bills too, either split them or agree one that he pays (broadband perhaps).

I've recently gone back to studying mid twenties and have moved in with my mum for a while to get save/get myself together. I still pay her £200 a month and do half of the chores, and do the cooking at least once a week. You can't live for nothing, and this is purely from my loan but if i was living in a flat i'd be spending more than double that so i'm still saving!

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FFS zombie thread. This is 5 years old and I hope the DS in question has left uni now 🙄