Bad food surprises

[IsabelleSE19]

Can't someone develop genetically modified tangerines that have a big cross on the outside if they're going to taste dry or bitter and then not grow those ones? Sometimes they can be a delicious juicy treat, sometimes face-scrunchingly rank, and you just don't know what you're getting until you peel it and bite into it.

And don't get me started on when you get one of those weird chewy Maltesers. Crashing disappointment, especially when it's the last one in the pack.

Coffee revels. Nuff said.

YABVVVVVU OP - everyone knows the chewy Malteasers are the best kind and if you get one, you should consider yourself truly blessed by their awesome deliciousness. You don’t get them nearly as often these days - they’re becoming the holy grail!

I love those weird chewy maltesers! They're the best ones!

I got a weird banana recently with a blood red centre and a crunchy texture - put me off for a while.

Also with kaki/persimmons, when they are good they are amazing (sweet, aromatic, silky), but then you get a mealy dry one and don't want any more kaki until next year.

Sparkly water that has lost its sparkle. Tastes like someone else's spit.

Soft apples, such a disappointment.

peachgreen I believe chewy maltesers occur where the airtight bag has been breached, the chocolate seal is faulty, and the honeycomb has been exposed to air moisture. You could probably replicate those conditions if you really wanted some!

Those one or two strawberries in the pack that are just rank- can't we identify and remove them?

Somebody needs to invent a klaxon combined with a device to make all the lights flash on and off continuously when a pear is finally ripe. This is because up to that point it's like eating a turnip and within nanoseconds after peak ripeness it goes mushy in the middle, tastes like nail varnish remover and is a huge disappointment.

likewise avocadoes: hard, hard, hard, nanosecond of peak ripeness, black and squidgy.

Yep, love pears and avocadoes but their eating window is ridiculously small.

And I can't believe there are people who like chewy Maltesers!

Unripe bananas are bad too - they make my teeth go dry, but at least the skin is usually a bit green to warn you.

Actually, thinking about it there are few worse food surprises than going to pick up a cucumber in the fridge and having it disintegrate under your hand.

Over ripe melon that tastes like acetone.

Syrup pancakes in a packet in Japan.

Turns out the fish paste ones look exactly the same from the outside.

When I moved to the US I was so happy to order a slice of coffee cake in a cafe. Turns out it isn't a replica of my Aunt Mary's fabulous coffee sponge cake but is a kind of crumb cake you have with a cup of coffee. I was gutted.

Those nasty bitter almonds.

pallisers see also Hershey's chocolate, which tastes like the contents of a hoover bag.

Oh yes, Hershey's! I was warned but I thought "ha ha, never met a chocolate I didn't like.....bleeeeeuuugh!!". Exactly like a mouthful of vomit.

Semolina pudding with lumps. My DH hates it, my DS and DB used to hate it, I love it, the lumpier the better.

I love coffee revels.

Last week I came home one night to the smell of rotting food. Emptied the bin, cleaned out the fridge, bleached both sinks etc.

Thought the smell had dissipated somewhat, so put the kettle on and fed the cats.

Turned out one of their sachets of whiskas had gone off. Way way way off. It was grey and slimy and I’ve never smelled anything that bad. I had to wrap a t-shirt around my nose and mouth while I got rid of it. Poor cats

Could still smell it the next morning, even with windows open all night. Bleurgh.

I wasn't that disappointed by Hersheys - it was chocolate I was unfamiliar with and tasted horrible. But that coffee cake. Not only was it not a coffee sponge with coffee cream in between and coffee icing on top (god I want a slice now) but it had no taste of coffee at all - the coffee referred to the drink you had with it. It was bitterly disappointing to a young homesick woman :)

the one tiny spot of green mould on a slice of bread that you've made into the most delicious pastrami/cheese and sliced gherkin sandwich with mustard mayonnaise. - you get that teeny tiny dot and the whole thing is ruined - just RUINED, the taste stays in your mouth for hours!!!

Dodgy pistachios need eliminating too. Once I'm in full nut chomping mode I scarcely glance at the nut as I shell it and neck it. Every so often you get once that needs to be spat out quick.

But Pallisers I imagine that cuts both ways. Picture an innocent young American sitting in a cafe anticipating a luscious slice of crumb cake, only to be presented with the cake equivalent of a coffee revel...

But Pallisers I imagine that cuts both ways. Picture an innocent young American sitting in a cafe anticipating a luscious slice of crumb cake, only to be presented with the cake equivalent of a coffee revel...

So true :)

Coffee revels are the best!

Worst is when you do a baked potato, it looks all lovely from the outside. Then you slice into it to find that it's bad in the middle. It's even worse because they take so long to do in the oven.

Or roasting chestnuts... Fab until you get a bad one or a maggoty one or one where the skin just won't come off and eating it is like getting a mouthful of lint from the dryer.

Just had couscous and homous salad from m+s -looked lush tasted bitter and vile

Apples that are covered in wax to preserve them, but the only thing you can taste is the wax, and it won't come off.

White fleshed nectarines with no warning, they are usually dry and tasteless.