To think Oliver James is spot on, parents need to stop spending so much on toys and spend it on holidays instead

[LardLizard]

Couldn’t agree with him more

Link Here

I quite like him

Anyway time to put the phone down and #makesomememories

!

His crapola rhetoric is also totally WASPish middle class triteness. People who spend on 'disposable' plastic tat= not parenting properly. Those who spend on what is, essentially, sanctioned cultural capital = bloody brilliant.

Oh I thought more people would agree

Well I agree that lovely cultural holidays are great. Who wouldn't?! What I disagree with is the idea that the reason most people don't go on lovely cultural holidays is that they are spending all their money on toys and plastic tat. Because that is clearly utter, utter, ill thought-out bollocks! And, as other people have pointed out, it's condescending, upper middle class bollocks at that. How dare those poor people who can't afford cultured, expensive holidays but their children toys?!

Totally disagree; we have spent a fortune on Lego over the years, the DCs play with the the lego everyday. Me & DH get 4-5 weeks a year in which we could go on holiday. The DCs are happiest in a static caravan with a playground on site and days out to the beach.

I agree with spending fun time together is better than buying toys, if it’s a choice between one or the other.
But why would it be? You can buy toys and take the kids for a picnic and play with them, or to the beach for ice cream or fish and chips or a day trip to another town. I don’t think you necessarily have to go on holidays to have that fun and carefree time.
It’s probably better to do that regularly then have stressful lives constantly with one 2 week holiday a year.

I would much rather spend money on experiences than expensive toys and designer gear like beats headphones, mobile phones and trainers

I'm also surprised so many disagree. I thought more would think experiences were worth more than stuff tbh.

I do think people are being very shortsighted to be defining 'holiday' as a week or more abroad.

A large proportion of our disposable income goes on holidays (including short breaks). We go away between 5 and 10 times every year. Rarely abroad. But we make an effort to go all over the UK and it varies from 2 nights to a week at a time.

The dc have been all over the UK, to most major cities and lots of landmarks etc which I prefer to a handful of weeks abroad.

It's such a false dichotomy though - most kids need some toys whether they're at home, camping in the UK or at an exclusive 5 star resort in Goa. Very few people spend so much on toys that they're forgoing a weekend away to Blackpool, never mind a week abroad!

But of course it's easy to create a strawman of parents not having the right priorities, similar to renters who can't buy a house because they're buying Starbucks, or benefits claimers who spend all their money on a flatscreen tv instead of vegetables to feed their children properly...

I agree that it's better to have outings, holidays and similar experiences with your children than overload them with too many posessions, but it doesn't have to cost much. A picnic, trip to the park or a few days in a caravan can be just a valuable to a child as more expensive and Instagrammable equivalents. Its also nice to do some of those things with friends and extended family.

Very few people spend so much on toys that they're forgoing a weekend away to Blackpool, never mind a week abroad!

I'm not sure I agree but the definition of 'toys' needs widening.

I know a few people that rarely/don't go away because they can't afford to, a couple of whom make the 'Good grief Something, you're going away AGAIN?' type comments to us.

Their kids all have top of the range phones and an I pad each though. One has just spent £600 on one of those fancy kids high beds that are all over fb ATM. Another's just had AstroTurf laid in the back yard to make a mini football pitch for her dc. And just generally over the year, money is spent on the dc for new this/updated that etc.

I'd say this could easily add up to a few weekend breaks or a week away. But it's different priorities, as with everything.

Ah fair enough Something - think we're just at a different age right now. The most extravagant toy we've got in the last year was a £40 wooden push along bike so was a bit baffled to think people could be spending £££ on toys.

I agree it doesn’t have to mean a week abroad it couple be a couple of nights at a premier inn at the seaside etc or a day out and a picnic etc

His book 'they f**k you up your mum and dad-how to survive family life' is bloody brilliant though - more as a reflection on the parenting you received than that you impart to your own children (or that's how I conveniently read it!). For James, it's 99.999% nurture, and it's all over, in terms of the development of a stable, happy, resilient personality, by the age of 6, as I remember it, which was unfortunate as my DDs were already quite a bit older than that when I read it.

On the OP, I think 'experiences' are good, but you cannot beat imaginative play with eg a big box of farm animals.

Thing is toys are something that's used every day and experiences are easily forgotten by toddles so I'm not sold on this.

A balance is needed as much as possible. 5 days away/ year and no toys= miserable childhood. Mountains of toys, but no quality time with family= miserable childhood again IMO

The thing that gets me about this man is that he always has a new stick to beat parents, and particularly women, with. We're always doing something wrong and Oliver James knows what it is. Sure, there are some mea culpas here and there to make him seem more understanding but ...

I'm also highly suspect of any complete environmental determinism. 'It's all the parents' fault devalues and wilfully misundertands biology and also implies we all need to be hyper-vigilant and treat parenting as another impossible, insurmountable job. And who does that burden fall disproportioately on?? Yes, women. Oh what a surprise.

God I am really exercised by this bloke :)

It's just such piss-poor science, social or otherwise.

It's basically just one bloke's musings on life, the universe, and everything. Backed by bugger all. Gaaaahhhhhhh.
Oh, and Expatinscotland I love you for your totally accurate bluntness.

I love you too Expat.

He writes, 'the first and often simplest mistake that an awful lot of parents make.....'. Always a sentence one wants to hear.....

I remember reading Affluenza when I was unemployed and broke (a friend lent me it). Oddly I didn't think a life with plenty of disposable income would be terrible. Twat.

That made me laugh expat.

The man has clearly never met a child like my son who has a passionate and unwavering devotion to his toys. His life would be bleak without them. He remembers each one in detail, even ones he has given away, and is capable of crying, five years later, over the loss of his kinder egg toy which was so small it washed down the overflow pipe of our sink when he was two. He truly loves them. Toys can be important too.

DD couldn´t really give a damn on the other hand.

They like it when we can afford to go away for a few days too.

Toys are important, a 2 week holiday or toys at Christmas for my DD I would pick toys if I couldn't do it both.

She learns through her play, her imagination and her skills develops through playing.

I am with him.

We have always prioritised holidays and I think we are the richer for it, in terms of memories and experiences. In terms of money we have spent, much the poorer!

The comparisons at the end of the article:

A Playstation 4 Pro Console costs £349.95 at John Lewis.

Center Parcs is currently advertising short family breaks for £329. The price is based on a Monday-Friday stay in a three bedroomed woodland lodge.

Can you really visit Center Parcs during school holidays for that little? It doesn't seem likely...

So then I read some of the other travel articles on their site and it reminded me what a completely shite rag it really is. Clickbaity headlines and stories about things like how difficult it is to get a passport photo of your 5 year old if you're stupid enough to try to do it in a photo booth.

My brain automatically read it as Jamie Oliver too!