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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aggressive/bullying driver

102 replies

AtHomeDadGlos · 19/10/2017 10:38

So, I popped to the shops this morning and behind me was a very impatient/angry driver who was frustrated at my driving a touch under/on the speed limit of 30mph.

Lights flashing, fist pumping, watch tapping away as the lights turned from green to red - he wanted me to speed to catch them.

Just wondering how other people deal with these bell ends (invariably they’re blokes). I just slow down even more as needing to check my mirrors more intently means I can’t give as much attention as to what’s in front of me. also it pisses them off

OP posts:
userabcname · 19/10/2017 12:12

No advice but I do sympathise. Also I have a lovely anecdote that may cheer you (not mine but my grandfather's):
My grandad was driving along when he encountered an aggressive driver who kept flashing/tailgating/making rude gestures etc. despite the fact my grandad was going the speed limit. Idiot driver decided to overtake (dangerously I can add - I know the road they were on well and it really isn't safe to overtake anywhere along there) and zoomed up to the next car along and overtook them as well. Turned out that car was an unmarked police car - lights went on and idiot driver was immediately pulled over. My grandad said it couldn't have happened to a nicer guy!

Original poster
AtHomeDadGlos · 19/10/2017 12:24

ohhere it was too close to see the badge!

OP posts:
RatRolyPoly · 19/10/2017 12:35

Everyone should be at liberty to drive at the speed they feel comfortable with.

Well, within reason I agree. But as far as I'm aware (happy to be corrected) it is an offence to drive too slowly simply because it can itself be dangerous. And being risk averse is no justification for posing a risk to other drivers.

But that's not what we're talking about on the OP's case if they were just going a little under 30.

Astella22 · 19/10/2017 13:07

I would just pull over and let him past. Slowing down to teach him a lesson is just silly, if he does hit into the back of your car and you get a neck injury telling yourself you were in the right will make no difference to your health.

LurkingHusband · 19/10/2017 13:40

If you look in your mirror, decide I'm tail-gating and slow down, I'll have to brake,

Suggesting you're too close to start with Hmm

Falconhoof1 · 19/10/2017 13:48

I had a woman do this once. I was stuck behind a car turning right at lights with traffic constant on the inside lane. I couldn't go anywhere. She was aggressively gesticulating behind me. I got quite upset at the time but think that now I'd just give her a one finger salute!

TenForward82 · 19/10/2017 13:55

As for slowing down way before you get to traffic lights, I was in a queue the other day and the car in front of me decided not to move because the lights changed to red. However, I wanted to turn left into my road and they were blocking me from doing so, even though there was a gap they could drive into. So please make progress, you don't know what people behind you are trying to do.

There's a difference between stopping completely and staying stopped and not accelerating pointlessly up to a red light.

TenForward82 · 19/10/2017 13:57

I slow down if I'm tailgated. Mostly because if I need to brake and they hit me, at less speed I will less damage to myself, my vehicle, and anyone else('s) around me. Pissing them off is just a pleasant side effect.

elfinpre · 19/10/2017 13:59

Just pull over and let them go if safe to do so. That's what we were advised to to on a speed awareness course.

LurkingHusband · 19/10/2017 14:11

Just pull over and let them go if safe to do so. That's what we were advised to to on a speed awareness course.

And if it's not safe to do so ?

wasonthelist · 19/10/2017 14:20

I have been aggressively tailgated by men and women - it's a equal opportunity offence in my experience, however fortunately I haven't been subject to gesticulations etc

safariboot · 19/10/2017 14:25

I'd say don't rise to the bait. Keep driving at your normal speed or slow a little. If a good opportunity arises, come to the left to ease their overtake. Speeding up just vindicates their dangerous driving. Slowing excessively or brake-checking is bad driving yourself.

LurkingHusband · 19/10/2017 14:30

Rear-facing dashcams can be useful too.

sharklovers · 19/10/2017 15:21

You say a little under 30 - is that indicated or actual? You may have been doing an indicated 27 which could well be an actual 24/25 so I can fully understand why he was pissed off. No need for the aggressiveness though.

melj1213 · 19/10/2017 15:31

However, I wanted to turn left into my road and they were blocking me from doing so, even though there was a gap they could drive into. So please make progress, you don't know what people behind you are trying to do.

Surely that's what your indicators are for - to make people aware of your intentions?

If you were behind me, with your indicator on then I would assume you were waiting to turn into the next turning, and if I had space to move forward to allow you to do so then I would ... if you're not indicating then I'm not a mind reader that me moving forward a foot is going to mean you can make your turn.

SelenaValentina · 19/10/2017 16:03

I've just had a twit this morning, pulled right in front of me as I turned off a roundabout, in order to avoid him (and car crashing into me from behind) I accelerated past him and pulled in safely behind the car in front. Horn blaring, tailgating, then I could see him taking photos of my car. More tailgating, gesticulating.

Plonker.

Ifailed · 19/10/2017 16:17

You may have been doing an indicated 27 which could well be an actual 24/25

So why would that be a problem? On a typical urban 5 mile journey the difference in time is mere seconds.

Original poster
AtHomeDadGlos · 19/10/2017 17:06

sharklover you’re one of those drivers

OP posts:
Booagain · 19/10/2017 17:09

I drive slower as well and then grin at them in the rear view mirror.
It’s dangerous and intimidating for anyone to be close behind you and harass you. Fuck him. Hope he gets caught speeding. Merry Thursday.

motherinferior · 19/10/2017 17:15

There’s nothing either illegal or dangerous about driving at 25 mph when the speed limit is 30.

sharklovers · 19/10/2017 17:18

you’re one of those drivers

If you mean I get pissed off at people not making reasonable progress then yes, however tailgating/abuse not required. A simple comment to myself usually suffices such as “get a fucking move on you dozy cunt.”

CrochetBelle · 19/10/2017 17:19

As for slowing down way before you get to traffic lights, I was in a queue the other day and the car in front of me decided not to move because the lights changed to red. However, I wanted to turn left into my road and they were blocking me from doing so, even though there was a gap they could drive into. So please make progress, you don't know what people behind you are trying to do.

If you are too close to the car in front for the driver to see your indicators, you're too close. Just be bloody patient.

elfinpre · 19/10/2017 17:31

And if it's not safe to do so?

Er, don't pull over until it is?

Goshthatwentwell · 19/10/2017 17:41

Perhaps you were driving badly rather than slowly?

To be fair you can usually tell the difference if so done is lost or looking for a road and someone who has no sense of the road. Braking for every corner instead of anticipating and slowing naturally. Not anticipating traffic lights as previous posters mentioned.

Goshthatwentwell · 19/10/2017 17:50

There’s nothing either illegal or dangerous about driving at 25 mph when the speed limit is 30.

I bet you are one of those people who sit in the middle lane doing 70.