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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wear black to a wedding...?

50 replies

user1484167681 · 18/10/2017 21:21

Okay, I screwed up and I should have thought about this earlier. Like, a lot earlier. I'm flying at 9am on Friday to Spain for a Catholic church wedding on Saturday, and nothing fits because I'm pregnant!!! Big 26-week bump in the way.

Options currently are... floor length skintight (but acceptably so) black dress with lacy capped sleeves. Or a knee length, long sleeved navy blue dress with white polka dot. Not sure it's sufficiently wedding-y... Or a miracle tomorrow?? I'm working though, and busy all evening, so that seems like a bad gamble. Also, I'm doing a reading so people will actually SEE what I'm wearing.

What would you do? I'm tempted to go for the formal black dress and dress it up with colourful jewellery and a stole and some flowers in my hair etc. Or is black at a wedding definitely a no-no??

I've no idea how all-out Spanish weddings are?! I think many people, esp family, are going for full-length dresses. Can't work out what's worse- causing offence from the black or being under-dressed. The black is slimming though, and as soon as I turn sideways, I feel any observer will understand my logic..!

(Won't have time to go shopping in Spain, before that gets suggested)

OP posts:
NapQueen · 18/10/2017 21:23

Navy polka dot

BernardBlacksHangover · 18/10/2017 21:23

Sorry - no experience with Spanish weddings but I've been to plenty of Irish catholic weddings. I'd go with the blue polka dots to an Irish wedding. Do you have pics of the dresses?

user1484167681 · 18/10/2017 21:29

Pics attached, although I am sadly nowhere near as glamorous as these ladies...

To wear black to a wedding...?
To wear black to a wedding...?
OP posts:
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 18/10/2017 21:29

Do you have, or can you borrow, a brightly coloured shawl or pashmina? That would brighten up either outfit, so you could choose the one you felt most comfortable in.

BernardBlacksHangover · 18/10/2017 21:31

I think I'd go with the blue polka dot one as I think it's more wedding-y. The other is gorgeous though.

NapQueen · 18/10/2017 21:32

Black.

But ive no idea if thats a no no for Catbolic weddings.

BarryTheKestrel · 18/10/2017 21:32

I'd go with the black dress and a very bright pashmina and colorful accessories because I'd be more comfortable in that.
Black to a wedding isn't a no no if you dress it up with colour. If you don't you will look like you thought it was a funeral.

user1484167681 · 18/10/2017 21:32

I've got some pale, sort of silvery type pashmina things... and some patterned ones too. Could probably source one at the airport too! :)

OP posts:
user1484167681 · 18/10/2017 21:34

We're staying at the venue the night before so I'm almost tempted to lean out the window to see what everyone else is wearing on the day and go from there ;)

OP posts:
MairzyDoats · 18/10/2017 21:35

Personally I prefer the black and I think it's fine for a wedding, no idea about Spanish protocol though! The black dress is gorgeous, where is it from?

user1484167681 · 18/10/2017 21:38

Ahh 50:50 split so far...! I might pack both.

The photo of the black one is the nearest approximation I could find online as I bought the dress at some tiny boutique in the Covered Market in Oxford about ...5 years ago, I'm afraid! The other one is from John Lewis.

OP posts:
TisMeTheLadFromTheBar · 18/10/2017 21:42

Black is usually for Catholic funerals.
Avoid cream/Ivory/white as per etiquette for most weddings.
It's going to be warm so stay in shade and drink plenty of water to avoid dehydration and heat stroke. My friend (5 months pregnant) got heat stroke at a wedding on a beach in Portugal last month, ruined the rest of her holiday.

Dizzywhore · 18/10/2017 21:43

Black sounds lovely. Bright shoes and bag. Iv worn black to weddings x

Kochicoo · 18/10/2017 21:44

Someone else may come on to say otherwise but I've read (maybe on here)that in Spain, floor length dresses for weddings are very much the thing to wear. I saw one in Spain this year (so I'm afraid my survey is only based on one wedding) and the women were all really glam (compared to UK weddings) and so the black one may be more appropriate - unless of course black is a no no there.

goose1964 · 18/10/2017 21:45

Traditionally wearing black to a weddings meant you were against the match.

SaucyJack · 18/10/2017 21:51

I gather Spanish wedding guests go all out, so the black one would look better.

MrTrebus · 18/10/2017 21:53

Definitely navy one! Accessorize it well and that's a perfect wedding dress plus it will be super comfy with bump. Have fun!

SenecaFalls · 18/10/2017 21:55

I would never think of a long dress as funereal. I don't know anything about weddings in Spain, but in the US, where many weddings are at night and formal, a lot of women wear black dresses. What time of day is the wedding?

user1471495191 · 18/10/2017 21:58

As a catholic, I would definitely say the navy

SomewhatIdiosyncratic · 18/10/2017 21:59

I wouldn't normally go for black at a wedding, but at that stage of pregnancy, whatever fits that's a sensible style. (Thinks of the fancy Christmas party at 38 weeks in a lovely maternity dress, and clumpy boots that were the only footwear that still fitted and were appropriate for getting through a snowy carpark in at least -5ºC!)

I agree that the airport is a good chance to accessorise.

Can you take both and decide at the last minute?

greendale17 · 18/10/2017 22:02

Black is for funerals

Chapterandverse · 18/10/2017 22:08

I've been to two weddings where the bridesmaids wore black (both Irish Catholic weddings) so I can't see the issue with black at all!

Some hot pink/yellow/any bright colour heels, bag & pashmina and you're ready to go!

somersetsinger · 18/10/2017 22:10

You might be expected to cover your arms in a Catholic Church in Spain. I’ve been to a Catholic wedding in Italy where we all had to have our arms covered in church. (And expect the ceremony to be fairly long!) Covering up with a pashmina/shrug/cardie would be fun so you could wear either. My vote is for the navy one though.

BernardBlacksHangover · 18/10/2017 22:12

Now you mention it chapter, I've been to an Irish catholic wedding where the bridesmaids wore black too!

I would still say the navy based on weddings I've been to though as the black looks more like an evening gown to me. But, if Spanish weddings tend to be more glam then maybe that would work. I'd probably pack both and ask around when I got there.

fc301 · 18/10/2017 22:12

Haven’t RTFT. Take both & ask the advice of someone Spanish (& pref Catholic). It’s important to respect the customs of the home country.