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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Most likely am but will ask anyway

14 replies

2shoes · 11/04/2007 22:22

my sil is really annoying me. she always forgets ds's birthday.tbh she forgets most birthdays
but his was in feb no card. dd's today she gets a card. he is 15 so does notice. why send dd one when she forgets ds's. this isn't a one off she does it all the time.
I did decide to just stop sending her cards. thinking that way it wouldn't bother me. but doesn't work as it makes me feel bad.
I know I shouldn't care but it just winds me up. dh just phoned her and they were chatting abput dd and I said loudly and ds is ok as well.
Ok i am being childish but needed to have a moan

OP posts:

ChelseaDagger · 11/04/2007 22:24

I get outrageously pissed off about things like this. It's trivial when someone forgets a birthday, but very unfair when it's always a particular birthday.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 11/04/2007 22:24

Well.....

I often forget some of DP's neices or nephews more than others. Its not deliberate, it just happens that way. No excuse really, but no malice intended thats for sure.

munz · 11/04/2007 22:26

the b'day things I feel a littel put out by, but I can't talk/moan as I always forget someones!

what really gets on my wick thou is clear favourourtism of the kids/grand kids. (can you tell someone in my family does that) for that I feel treated equally or not at all, so for that part no it's not unreasonable.

Lio · 11/04/2007 22:27

ha ha I am slack and don't notice who forgets/remembers birthdays. your sil can be my friend if she likes. How exactly is she related to you - dh's sister or your brother's dw?

Moomin · 11/04/2007 22:28

I could be your sil . My intentions are always good but turn out erratic as far as other kids' birthdays go, whether they're friends or family. I know several kids who have had presents and cards from me (us) one year then completely forgotten the next. I feel guilty about it but I do try to be a good auntie/friend the rest of the year and I hope those kids and their parents) don't think too badly of me. Is your sil scatty and do you generally get on well?

When we just had our dd1, I got very cross with her godfather, one of dh's best friends who was forever forgetting her birthday and didn't seem very 'conscientious', esp as he had 2 dds. Now I have 2dds myself I'm much more forgiving - he's a lovely godfather in other ways and a good friend to us all. Thta's more important really in the great scheme of things.

Original poster

2shoes · 11/04/2007 22:33

but don't you think if you forget one birthday it is probally best to forget the others as well.

omg now i sound like I am 5

OP posts:

fairysnuff · 11/04/2007 22:44

I have to say I agree here because I am an awful one for forgeting b'days too.
But if I forget one, I probably wouldn't send any for the others just so that the one I forgot wouldn't feel bad, or maybe send a card and a wee pressie, for both, to help my own guilt!

Bad that she does it when your DS is 15 though! Even a silly card for him would have been good.
Surely if she remembered DD the she would remember that she had forgotten DS and send something to make up??

But maybe she is just real scatty? and just didn't think about it at all, or realise the knock on effect of only sending one card. Does she have children?
Not that I can use not having them as an excuse for her as I only have a 6 month old now and I have been doing the forgeting thing for years with my nieces!
did that makes sense?

saffy202 · 11/04/2007 22:54

I'm another who is dreadful at remembering birthdays. Every year I promise myself I will write then in my diary but I forget

Everyone else always remembers ds2s as it is on Bonfire night but someone always forgets ds1's which is 2 weeks later and ds1 always notices.

custy · 11/04/2007 22:56

i'm so rubbish.

this mighn't sound funny but my children are teenagers and i worry that when i have grandchildren i will be the bad granny becuase i am so pants

Original poster

2shoes · 11/04/2007 22:57

i am ok with birthdays but terrible with wedding anniversays. think I will become like my db who refuses to send them.

OP posts:

Clary · 11/04/2007 23:01

what are we supposed to send wedding anniversary cards

I forgot my own this year (it was today, DS1 reminded me last night .

Original poster

2shoes · 11/04/2007 23:05

they do in both mine and dh's family.I forgot my nieces the other week(didn't get invite to the wedding as it was abroad so it just didn't stick in my mind)
I can just about remeber the ones I went to

OP posts:

Clary · 11/04/2007 23:16

blimey.

I got one from MIL and an apology from my mum.

Wouldn't even send a card tomy sister after the first one tbh.

thejelly · 11/04/2007 23:19

LOL my dh and me both forgot our anniversary this year - till the card from his mum and dad arrived. It really p*ed us off - we both feel it is a personal matter and we should be left to forget in peace if we want to. On the birthday front, there are some friends and family that I ALWAYS remember because their birthdays happen to fall on the same day as other events. And others that I forget - no malice intended. Perhaps a gentle reminder from you would be welcomed? I know I would be grateful for one sometimes.

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