To want 2 under 2?

[mintich]

We have a 5 month old and want a small age gap. I'm 37 and that is also a factor in trying for a baby in the next few months. Will we cope with 2 under 2? Experiences please!

19 month gap here. The baby is 8 months. I think know it really does depend on what they're like. Ds1 was fairly easy I thought though wouldn't be put down and woke/fed a LOT but happy and easy in general. Ds2 is soooo easy thank god as toddler hood has hit. So far it's been hard for a few weeks, gradually easier until weaning and crawling. Now it's hard again. All I seem to do is prepare food, feed, clean up mess. I have no time to do much else. While the baby is indeed easy, he's not keen on confirmation in a cot or playpen, and crawls at the speed of light .

It has dawned on me that I'm in for about 4 years of toddler behaviour too.

But generally it's great.

There's 16 months between DS1 & DS2. I barely remember DS2's first year, it was all a bit of a blur. On the plus side, they are very close & it was worth it.

I would imagine it depends on baby no1 to some degree. Mine wasn’t the best sleeper and I was quite stressed with it all. No2 is a breeze and it’s all a joy with 3yrs between them. It took until he was 2 for me to consider another. If you’re already considering it, then why not. You’re not the first and won’t be the last. I knew sisters in the same yr at my school. Born about 10 or 11 months apart. People cope, so I’m sure you will 😀

Oh yes also depends on you, your partner and your relationship! Mines shit so that makes it hard. I feel a lot of guilt that my baby (ds1) isn't my baby anymore, that he felt pushed out etc and that ds2 gets ignored a lot!

18 month gap between my 2 girls. They’re now 3.5 and 2. It’s bloody hard work at times, but I love how close they are and play together. it’s getting easier the older they get - until we hit teenage years 😂

Two boys 21 months apart. We were hoping for a bigger gap tbh
It was horrendous tbh. I didn’t really sleep for
3 years.
However i’m just not that into babies tbh.
A friend had two babies 13 months apart and is a far more patient person and seems to be coping pretty well!

However my boys are 2.5 and 4 and a bit now and these last six months have really turned the tide.
They adore each other and play nicely quite a lot of the time in between the squabbles.
The bigger one is so protective of his brother it’s lovely to watch.
i’m an only child myself so siblings are a mystery to me tbh!

I’ve got a 22 moth age gap. First I was 39. Second I was 41. Now work full time. God I’m struggling.

Mine are twenty months apart, 15 & 16 now.

DC1 was a terrible sleeper and very difficult baby, we thought we’d better have another quick and get it all over and done with.

It’s worked really well for us, the first few years were tough but then we’d completely finished the baby stage and it just got better and better.

I had DTS when DD was 1 so had 3 under 2 for a month or so.

It was very hard but we survived. We had a lot of support and made good use of it!

The DC are now in years 3 and 4 at school and are good mates (most of the time)

I once worked with someone that had 13 month-old twins and a newborn. Constantly looked exhausted and in a haze of tiredness and stress.
Some manage to make it work. Others struggle but needs must. Who can really know.

My mum had 3 under 5. She said until the youngest reached school, they were "the hardest, most miserable years of her life"... but in hindsight she doesn't regret it at all (thankfully!!!) and my siblings and I get on really well because we all grew up as friends who could play and relate to each other.

Iv exactly 24 months between mine and that was perfect as got to enjoy both babies

Like a previous poster my second pregnancy was twins so 3 under 2. I loved it and they are teenagers now.
I had number 4 when the twins were 6 and was astonished at how easy one was.

I've no personal experience, but I'm in awe of this couple that I follow on instagram who had six children in three years.

16.5 month age gap here. Youngest is now 16 months and I won't lie- it's been very hard. First year was the hardest with the sleep deprivation in particular. It's still tough, but I'm hoping we'll reap the dividends at a later date (!).

Don't forget- if you only have a 5 month old and are breastfeeding, ttc could be an issue until you've stopped. Also there's no saying how long it will take. Conception is unpredictable (that's how I ended up with such a small gap!). X

3 girls under 3 here. No support/family help whatsoever. Still in the thick of it, early years are tough tough tough but then they play together nicely and I see glimpses of a wonderful future with my 3 amazing dds who I hope will be close and have a great support system when they’re older. And then every moment of struggle is worth it. If you can accept some relatively short term pain for long term gain do it OP!

My DDs are 23 months & 3 months old, honestly it’s been absolutely fine, I’ve found it much easier going from one to two than I did going from none to one. DD1 loves her little sister, she’ll be busy playing then suddenly stop what she’s doing, potter over, give DD2 a little kiss then potter off I’ve no regrets at all.

There are 20 months between mine, would have been less if I had conceived quickly!

DS1 is now 27 months and DS2 is 6 months. I would say the first five months have been hard but we have turned a corner in the last month. DS1 was still very much a baby at 20 months but has come on massively since he turned 2, he is more independent when playing and more ‘able’ in terms of walking and talking (he was a very late walker) so can do more for himself.

DS2 has been a tough baby. He hasn’t slept more than three hours in his life, he had colic, reflux and generally has been hard work. DS1 was a really easy baby so it’s been a shock. I had some quite bleak weeks to be honest.

Things are good now though, I’m more confident about coping with them alone and taking them out etc, which helps. DS2 is gradually getting a bit better as well, although he still doesn’t sleep!

I wouldn’t change it though and I knew what to expect. On the plus side DS1 can’t remember a time when the baby wasn’t here, he absolutely adores him and gets so much joy out of seeing him do new things like rolling over etc. He was delighted the other day when I told him that one day his brother would walk and talk!

I wouldn’t have it any other way, it was what I wanted and although it’s no picnic I would do it all over again.

I have a 14 month gap. The older DC is four now and it has got easier. But I am not going to lie. It has been incredibly tough. We have no real family support. They are around but are more needy than helpful. Also I lost all my social life. Due to childcare costs.. Broke. We both work full time and I can't really see the positives in life like I used to. dh says the DC are worth every sacrifice. I am finding it so much harder. I love them, they are adorable. But it has taken so much out of me.

At 37, I would not hesitate. I had DS at 36 and waited 18 months before ttc again for financial reasons. A further three years have passed since then and my 8th pregnancy has just reached 16 weeks. I would not wish the last few years on anyone. Go for it.

17 months between my 2 and planned that way. We knew we wanted 2 and wanted them close together. I won’t lie the first couple of years is pretty hard, but the benefits far out way the negatives. My 2 are great friends, were at similar stages so liked the same activities and were in sync with things like naps. Both teenagers now and still get in really well.

20 month gap between mine and it’s lovely. Definitely hard at times, but I think that’s the case whatever age gap you have. There are always pros and cons to every age gap. I say go for it if it’s what you want