To be on edge when ds has friends round?

[JustBeingJobless]

I know I am really, and I’d never stop him as he has ADHD and ASD and it’s really lovely to see him making friends at last. But I just cannot relax when there’s someone else in the house.

Since he started secondary school, there’s a couple of lads who will call for him. He’s not a fan of playing out so will invite them in. They’re lovely lads, no trouble etc but I just find it so stressful and I’m not sure why. I worry that they’ll tell their mums that the house is a mess (feels like it is to me as I’m disabled and limited how much I can do) and I just find it utterly exhausting having another child here, even though they’ve literally not come out of ds’s room the whole time. I’m a bit of an introvert at the best of times and prefer my own company, but I really wish I could chill out a bit as I know there’s going to be a never ending stream of hungry teenagers coming and going for a few years yet!

If it's any comfort at all there are loads of us here who stress about having their DCs mates round. For a whole variety of reasons.

[flower]

It sounds as if these lads keep their own company well though, and it's so good for DCs to have a relaxed social life where they can have friends over. By this age if they (the friends) hated the house they wouldn't come over.

even!

Thank you. I know I’m being a bit odd and I’d never let ds know how I feel as I want him to feel he can invite people round instead of hanging around on the park, but I breathe a huge sigh of relief when they go. I just struggle to relax. My preferred position at the minute is flat out on the sofa as my back is horrendous, but I feel like I need to be up and doing things when anyone else is here (this is the same if it’s a friend of mine, but I very rarely have anyone found). I just see friends who’ve constantly got a house full of kids who seem so relaxed and chilled about it and I wish I could be more like them!