To not have my dh as my birth partner

[thedaftcrusader]

It’s just that really. Its our pfb and I’m pretty nervous about the unknown. I’ve asked him to come to antenatal classes as I’ve done a lot of looking into births and what can go wrong but know he’s fairly oblivious to the whole thing. I want to feel supported if anything goes wrong and not have to explain what’s happening and essentially support him through the whole process. He’s refusing to even entertain the idea of going to one, doesn’t see the point and think it will all be ok on the day. WIBU to basically give him the ultimatum of either come to a class or I’ll ask someone else to be my birth partner and you won’t be there to see the birth of your first child?

I was worried about how DH would cope and genuinely was dreading him fainting etc etc. He totally pulled it out of the bag and was an absolute superstar on the day - managed to get me transferred to a private room when I wasn't coping on the ward etc etc. He was my hero and didn't need to know anything antenatal class related to be there for me as a birth partner. I only bloody wish he'd be like that all the time!!

I don't think he needs to attend the antinatal classes but i don't see why he won't given, he presumably loves you and your unborn baby, nothing will really prepare you both for the birth of your baby, every birth is unique.

I would suggest you make him a list of how you see things going and tell him to not deviate from it unless everything goes very wrong and at that point it will be out of his hands anyway, so nothing either ofyou could do.

When I had an emergency C Section I was damn grateful for those classes as I knew what the process would be and that was calming.