To think not brushing your children's teeth/teaching them how to is neglect?

[frizzah]

I was looking after cousin's DC (3 under 6) for an hour while she went to a doctor appointment as her DH is at work.

The DC got up and I asked the eldest if he had brushed his teeth and he looked absolutely bewildered. He had no idea what I was going on about "no?" Was the reply I got in such a confused way and I thought that was ever so strange. So I did ask a couple more questions and it just appeared that it was such a rare occurrence. None have been to a dentist? Surely this is some form of neglect?

I personally think that forcefully brushing your dc teeth is abusive.
It's painful, you have to pin them down. I'm struggling to see any other occasion where this would be seen as OK.
Even when children have to have a tooth extracted, no one would ever think about pinning them like on the chair. And clearly that would be for their own good too!!

So if you don't do it for them, they have to do it and we know that children will not be able to do it properly until they are 8~10 yo.....

My take on it is that yes teaching to brush their teeth is important. Better to have them use an electric toobrush (better brushing and less time needed).
But is it abusive not to? Nope sorry, abusive is a word that is miles too strong for that. Bad parenting yes, slightly neglectful, maybe too.
And look at their diet (and no it's not just about avoiding sweets, far from it) so their teeth are as strong as possible.

Oh dear some of these stories. Dh or I still brush dds teeth some of the time and she’s 9. Dd is pretty dentist phobic. I have now moved her to a private dentist as the nhs dentist was very much of the attitude, the child will come and see him when she’s ready. Problem is, she had a small hole, which needed filling and the dentist wouldn’t cajoule her to pass the door threshold.

pass fwiw your story is exactely the thing I wanted to avoid with my own dcs. And the reason why I never tried to brush their teeth.
It's painful to have someone brushing your teeth. Add to that the brutal force of being pinned down, I know my dcs, and esp dc2, would react like your dd and would just refused point blank to ever have their teeth brushed.

LewisThere I can think of lots of examples where you have to do that for their own good, injections, medicine, blood tests are daily examples where I work.

Tooth brushing is very important, and if you'd seen children coming in to have all their baby teeth out because they're rotten, you'd agree. Forcing them is better than having no teeth.

I think there is a middle ground between forcing and no teeth brushing at all!

I certainly had to find ways to try and get ds to brush his teeth! Some more successful than others!

The OP doesn’t seem to know for a fact that no teeth brushing occurs!

you have to pin them down. I'm struggling to see any other occasion where this would be seen as OK.

How about giving medicine when a child is ill? That ok? Or is it better to let the child deteriorate to the point where hospital admission - and more invasive medical treatment - is required?

Most kids eat breakfast first and then brush their teeth after. Maybe that's why they looked at you incredulously.

Also, I thought that small children who needed teeth extracting normally had that done in hospital under general anaesthetic, rather than being pinned on a dentist chair?

passmethewine, enamel hypoplasia? Ds has this. His front ones look yellow and tomorrow he has to get 4 molars removed because they've decayed. He was prem and sick a lot as a baby and toddler which can cause it when the teeth are being formed. I feel awful that people may judge as not brushing his teeth when the opposite is true, it is not an option in this house.

We have to pin dd3 down to give her an inhaler and meds. If we didn't she would die. Myself a doctor and nurse had to hold her down to put a canaler in. I don't want to hold her arms whilst I brush her teeth. I bloody hate it. But I also don't want to sit st the dentists answering to them why her teeth need taking out. Oh and then having to hold her down for the general anaesthetic. You really can't win as a parent can you. Btw. What anyone else does with their dc is no issue to me. My ds has Aspergers so I get the issues that brings. I'm not in the mood for being called a child abuser when I've been up half the night counting dds breath per minute.

Was you dsa prem baby ? It's quite common for them to have weak enamel

DS was prem, he hates teeth brushing and to be honest I have been quite lax on it, he's 3 now and we are slowly starting to get some progress but once a week I do swoop in with a child's head on my electric toothbrush and give him a good clean which isn't that fun to be honest!

He was really late in getting any teeth through so I'm hoping that might have shielded the teeth a bit :-/

Hi rosy. Ds was 10 weeks early. Had terrible teeth. Was told at every appointment it was because he was a prem baby. It's so hard isn't it. Like a pp said why can't they just do it lol x

I hate just hate brushing my kids teeth. I find it really stressful. I find they are better using mouth wash and then a quick brush.

It is one of the most awful things and they just don't seem to get in the habit.

They are also strong so I can't hold them down to do it.

I use all kinds of incentives.

Otherwise they are good children but brushing teeth is major drama.

It’s hard work and I had a proper meltdown together with my 2 1/2 year old last night but god it’s so important and bad oral health is linked to so many other health risks in life. Tbf he is cutting his last molars at the mo so it must hurt to brush but still twice a day as often as I can convince him.

I still brush my children's teeth at 8 and 6 since my dentist friend told me she brushed her children's teeth until they were in their teens!
They probably wouldn't remember to do their own unless I told them.

Wine but you are talking about life saving stuff there. Not an everyday hygiene thing.
If you want your child to do something of their own back as an adult, I doubt that pinning them down is going to work TBH. Unless you assume they will just give up the fight. Like when you do CC with a baby. (Something that is frown upon by quite a lots of people) because they will have learnt that they have no body autonomy and that adults always 'win'

As far as I am concerned, if a dentist isn't happy to pin a child down on the seat for a filling or a tooth extraction, both of which would be more 'urgent' and 'important' than daily or thorough tootbrushing, then I dont see why you would do it at home.

Wasn’t really missing the point Frizz was just attempting to understand the post...

I would rather us do it for a few minutes then it not get done tbh Lewis she stops crying instantly afterwards and the dentist says we've got to do what we've got to do. I'm thankful that these are her baby teeth and will fall out.

She will hold the brush in her mouth now which is a massive improvement. She wasn't prem but was a sicky baby. Whether that makes a difference or not I dont know.