I don't want to take my two yet old abroad?

[Icanhearmynebioursshouting]

I just don't feel safe she is only two would be three when we would go but mil wants us to take her to Dubai with her and fil. But I'm scared, not just Dubai anywhere Tenerife extent aibu

OP, start with something easy like a few days in France or Ireland. Then build up to something a bit further afield , Spain or Italy.

If you don't want to go abroad go places in this country, Cornwall, Peak District, Blackpool etc. There's so much to see and while your DC is young at the moment, they'll really benefit when older from being taken to interesting places - but these don't need to be expensive or abroad.

You also might want to speak to GP or someone about your anxiety - please don't let it stop you from ending life. Best of luck.

Ending? enjoying! Apologies.

You need the talk to your GP about your anxiety, which is making you irrational.

Fair enough, you don't have to go. It's not that great to fly with children anyway. Totally worth it if you are looking forward to your destination, but not if you are miserable about it.

I agree with above, build your travel experience slowly: go to mainland Europe first, short flight or a drive. Some tourist destinations are awfully geared up for the Brit tourists, so they don't even feel like "abroad", they just have a better weather.

Get decent travel insurance, research good hotels, know where hospitals and doctors are in advance if it makes you feel better. Nothing wrong either with starting with package holidays where the company holds your hand all the way, you don't have to go as a single traveler to start with.

You do need to work on your anxiety somehow, sadly recent events have proven that the UK is not remotely safe in terms of terrorism attack (and I work in London!)

I found Dubai to feel very safe and didn’t encounter anyone who didn’t speak English. It was v hot though which may be an issue for a 2yr old. I wouldn’t choose to go though, it was a work trip and I don’t really like places like that.

How about going to Malta or Ireland where you can guarantee to speak the same language? I think this is something you need to sort out as it will ultimately cause more issues as she gets older.

YABU to think you're at enhanced risk of terrorism or kidnap in Dubai or Spain.

YANBU to want to avoid long haul travel with a toddler - it's a pain in the ass!

I have travelled a lot of with my children. I took my eldest to Spain at 11 weeks. They are now 11, 8 and 3. Personally I think they have all gained sommuch from travel. Knowledge and insight into other cultures/food/language. This is your issue. Please start trying to come to terms with it for both your sakes while she is still relatively young. I'm sure you'll get so much joy from travelling with her in the end. pS I would say UK is more at risk from terrier attacks than anywhere else plus we did end up in a hospital in Spain with one of our children once. Not that I've had bad experiences here but the care he received there was infinitely better x

Terrorist! I don't think you should worry about terrier attaches too 😂

Did you mean mil & fil want to take her to Dubai by themselves? I think that’s a bit much, there’s no need for a toddler to be away from it’s parents if that’s not what you want.

You should start small, a long weekend somewhere in Europe to see how you feel first. I can see why you’re nervous if you’ve only been abroad once but there’s no reason to be worried, you’ll be just as safe in Europe as you are in the UK.

Lots of people don’t want to go to places like Dubai, Saudi etc. That’s ok, you don’t have to.

Don't do it if it makes you uncomfortable!

It doesn't matter that a pp went to Yugoslavia 52 years ago at a few months old ffs

My dc have been to lots of places but that's been my choice.

Tell PIL you'll go when you're ready.

I think you should start by taking some trips to Europe. I'd avoid places like Paris, Barcelona, Rome etc etc if the thought of terrorist attacks make you anxious. Go to the smaller less well known European cities.

My dc were born abroad. We have just come back from their first trip back to the UK. My husband and I both had terrible anxiety about traveling with them. Dd is 3 and ds 18 months.

The flight over was terrible but coming back was bliss.

It's a personal choice. I know lots of parents who's children haven't traveled and I don't think their children are deprived but I know mine enjoyed themselvs even if they dont remember it. My advice would be travel with help if you can and see if the airline is family friendldy as that helped. We got pre-boarding, activity pack for dd and a special meal and experienced crew used to families traveling with young children for the first time.

Terrotist attacks worry me slightly. We avoided London for that reason.

YANBveryU. There's no reason why anyone needs to go abroad and its hardly likely that dd will gain much from it at her age. If it will make you anxious that's good enough reason not to go.
I would be looking to reduce your anxiety in the longer term though.

Do you normally suffer anxiety when she is away from you? Does she go out with family at home without you? Kidnapping etc is incredibly rare both in UK and abroad.

I wouldn't be scared but it is a pain taking small kids abroad.

Your child won't even remember going in a years time, so don't feel pressured that you are letting them miss out.
We had a dog till ds was 2.5, he even has a large stuffed dog of the same breed with the same name that he chose. Show him a photo now, at almost 4ys old...not a clue who the dog is!

Me and my 4 year old DS have been abroad 3 times in the last 2 years, just me and him as I'm a single parent and we've had an amazing time. All different countries. Just booked our next one for next summer. We stayed in big resorts and felt incredibly safe, did day trips to see the countries and it was fantastic. Scariest part for me was the flight with an active child!

That being said it wouldn't be much of a holiday if you're feeling anxious the whole time and holidays abroad are not a necessity. Your DD is not missing out, she would have just as much fun on a UK holiday.

I would think about trying to address the anxiety though. Honestly bad things can happen anywhere, whenever you step out your front door. It's no more likely to happen abroad.

I'm scared of flying and have been abroad once. Not going abroad is really not a big deal and your daughter will be fine.

Sorry been abroad twice Paris and Tenerife..only in the past couple of years though never when I have had my baby. No parents in law want us all to go, but they understand. I don't no why but if we went somewhere like skying I'd feel better about it somewhere that has snow. But the thought of like Spain or even going back to Tenerife or Paris scares me. Even though if I didn't have my baby girl I'd go anywhere in the word I wouldn't care. It's her safety and leaving her at home is not an option. It's like my head is saying kidnappers and terrorists wouldn't go to snowy places. It's weird, I'm weird and I think I'll take what people have said about researching a lot of of thanks

I live abroad and am having second thoughts about coming back to the UK for Christmas after reading reports about heightened security alerts in the UK.....

Only you can make the decision and I agree that your dd is hardly missing out by not going this time. But you might want to look at ways of getting over your fears so that you are able to show her what’s out there and comfortable with her traveling with school etc in the years ahead.

Aghast at previous commenters who mentioned not wanting to come to Dubai in case a terrorist attack happens
UK has had more of these grim attacks in the past year than Dubai had in yeaaaaars.
Well typing this from my hotel in dubai while my lovely family is enjoying as I take a well deserved break ;)

WE moved to the Middle East (not Dubai) when DS was 3 months old. a year later we moved to Dubai and spent the next 10 years in that region.

I felt safer there than the UK and had to make an effort to be more vigilant when we were visiting the UK.

No one is going to kidnap your child. Should you need any help, everyone speaks English. All of the road signs and just about everything else are in both English and Arabic.

Really, I believe the UAE is a very safe place to visit with a child. I'm more nervous of visiting the UK, terrorist-wise.

Suggest, if you’re not already, seeking help for your anxiety. Avoiding things due to anxiety often makes it worse in the medium to long term.

YWNBU not to wish to holiday in long haul and/or in very hot places with a toddler: often not fun for parents or DC! Your H’s wishes are as important as yours. I have sometimes been on holidays I didn’t want to go on because DH wished to go, just as he has compromised other times.

I would feel safer in Dubai than in the UK or Europe.

Everyone speaks English and there is so much to do there with kids.