New relationship

[mummabear17]

Not sure if this really comes under AIBU but wanting advice/opinions please!

I’m 25 have a 9 month old son and have recently started seeing someone for just over 6 weeks now. Not saying that this is what I’m planning right away obviously but how long/soon is a sensible/reasonable amount of time before you decide your new partner and your child can meet/be around each other?

Thanks

Oh yes know exactly how you feel I was so nervous but excited entering a new relationship mostly because of my little boy and the time I met my partner my boys dad wasn’t really seeing him either so made it harder to spend time with eachother but like the guy your seeing he was very understanding, I just think go with whatever you feel asking as your happy your child will be to... hope it all works out for you 😃 x

1-2 years????? Why???
I don't think there is a set time, but make sure you are certain the relationship has a long term future and even then err on the side of caution time wise.

But as advise I don't think you need to be as cautious with a tiny kid rather than an older one.

I personally dont think theres a set time, Its when you feel comfortable, When I introduced my partner to my very young children years ago now, He was my "friend" we have been married for years now and went on to have children together. At 9 months the length of relationship doesn't really matter as he wont understand anyway and you can see how he is around him and if it would work.

I don’t feel there is a set time, more when you feel comfortable.

For me I made a promise to myself to only introduce my son to one person. I had casual flings etc and kept my son well away from that, however when I met my now husband I introduced him to my son after about 3 months. I also and sure I told my ExH first to avoid any tricky questions from my son shame he did not extend me the same courtesy

@TJ2503 that was gonna be my next question. Exh recently told me he has a new girlfriend even though we now are all pretty sure she is no longer around or more likely never existed so I suppose I would want the same thing from him, to let me know if DS was gonna be around anyone new. But in RL I’ve had very mixed responses about telling exh I am seeing someone - my friends seem to think I should now and are outraged I haven’t already even tho he’s had nothing to do with DS whereas my family think I should wait until we are serious or he is around DS to let exh know.... all very confusing!!!

For me I chose to tell EXH when I knew it was serious and I was definitely going to introduce DS. My relationship with EXH was, at the time, very difficult, so I did not want to give him anything he could potentially use in court against me (fwiw EXH is now NC with son).

It was only then (literally in the same conversation) my EXH told me about his new girlfriend and that my DS had met her several times and been away with her and him for the weekend..... thats a whole other story!

Is so tricky to know whats for the best - do what feels right for you and your son.

I met my step kids very quickly, about 6 weeks or so after i started seeing my now husband. I think we knew we were 'keepers' pretty quickly. Kids knew Dad had a girlfriend and were immensely curious to meet me. DH's ex was willing to accept his judgement on this, so we met. I was a bit scared but they were very sweet (age 7 & 9).
As your child is a baby, as long as you consider the safety aspects of a new relationship for the pair of you, the usual considerations of not confusing the child don't really count at this age.

We waited a year, but mine were 7 and 9 so I wanted to be sure he was a keeper, and also that we were relaxed enough together and knew enough about each other so there were no curve balls. It worked out brilliantly and they love him and our kids get on really well. However, at 9 months there is no real reason to wait. Take it slow, and only go at a pace you're comfortable with.

@LellyMcKelly that totally makes sense you waited longer as your DC were so much older 😊
Sounds very sensible I’m glad it worked out for you

1 - 2 years before meeting a partner makes me wonder why on earth would you wait that long!!!! Surely you would know with a year that you are serious! Most people I know have known within six months whether they were serious or not!!!!