to expect my mother to actually USE her dishwasher?

[NutterlyUts]

My mum HAD to have a dishwasher, and used it for all of about a week. Now she never uses it, and if I do dishes at hers and use it, It sparks off WW3. She claims it doesn't wash the dishes well enough but that is b/s since if I use the dishwasher without her knowing, she can't tell the difference.

AIBU to expect her to use the dishwasher since she had to have it? She's only 50 odd, so not really stuck in her ways so to speak.

Message withdrawn

My Mum is similar, but she will use it for big family occasions when there is loads of washing up - ie. xmas! (once or twice a year, and that's about it).

It doesn't bother me if she/ my dad are happy to wash up as dishwashers can be a waste of water and electricity if they are not choc-a-block full - so can understand why she won't use it on everyday basis.

Still tho' as I'd like one and I don't have one!

Her choice entirely.

Does she actually know how to use it properly? is she stacking it right?

Sounds to me like she can't make it work, and she doesn't like you using it because it negates her excuse that it doesn't work, because you prove it does!

God, parents, they always find some way to piss us off big style don't you find??

Mine swears dishwashers are unhygenic. Like using a smelly old dishcloth and tepid water is better FFS!

Some people are a bit mad when it comes to dishwashers - I have 2 sets of friends (couples) who don't like to use their dishwasher. One because 'they don't use much stuff and it's quicker/easier by hand' and they have a small one - logic gone. The other couple I think, think that the powder, salt, rinse aid etc are expensive. It is much more hygenic to use a dishwasher as it reaches 65oC (as I'm sure you know NutterlyUts). I use mine all the time.

Colditz she can use it, she just refuses

LOL NutterlyUts.
My dh and MIL both wash everything so thoroughly before putting it in (and I know it's a good idea to rinse it, but really....) that I wonder why they bother to use ours/hers at all.

Reminds me of my grandma who used to take the dry stuff out of the drier and hang it on the washing line to air

My friend washes up, properly, then puts stuff int he dishwasher!
At least your mum isn't that mental! LOL!

dishwashers seem to bring out the inner weird in people!!

Latest dishwashers also use less water than washing up in sink anyway.

But I know other people like this...

DH will not put dirty dishes in the dishwasher - me? I just leave him to it

I think you should relieve your mum of the trauma of having the dishwasher in her kitchen. You don't mind using it and it obviously causes her distress. By taking it home you help two people, you calm her issues and you get help in the kitchen

my parents whenever they buy a new set of pans spend extra money on getting dishwasher safe ones.

They have never in their lives put a pan in the dishwasher in case they get damaged.

I have pointed it out to them every time they buy a new set of pans, but they say they want them to be dishwasher safe 'just in case'.

In case of what? SOmeone breaking into their house and stacking their dishwasher with pans?

Yes you are being unreasonable.

Everyone should be allowed to be irrational about their white goods if they want to be.

LOL Nutterlyuts.

My MIL has a fairly new dishwasher - she chooses very, very carefully when to use it.

'OK, I'm putting the dishwasher on'

Then proceeds to don rubber gloves, run the hot tap and rinse all plates while scrubbing them with the washing up brush.

Then stacks the dishwasher.

Never ever puts in glasses or pots, so then has to wash them by hand.

I think it's actually more work for her than just washing them all in the sink.

I should say obviously me or dh wash the dishes/stack the machine/wash pots etc when we are visiting - we don't just sit and watch her and chuckle about it later...

My mum otoh puts absolutely everything in the dishwasher with no rinsing - even things that are patently not meant to go in, like crystal/non-stick pots etc - and never ever washes a single thing by hand.

Think I would possibly be more like her if I owned a dishwasher

My mother washes everything BEFORE she puts it in the dishwasher. Not rinses, properly washes.

There is also this very complex hierarchy of what goes where in the dishwasher too. So there is lots of putting stuff in and taking stuff out and hand wringing.

It annoys me so much that I want to shake her and shout 'Washing every bastard thing up first is not necessary'

What is it with mothers and dishwashers?

Message withdrawn

Obi - I emptied my MILs dishwasher thinking that it had been on because everything looked clean; turned out they had just been rinsed so thoroughly that it was hard to tell and I had to reload it so that they could be washed again

yes, you are beingunressonable
its her dishwasher. her house her ruless

My mother used to rinse all the plates before they went into the dishwasher (or insist we did it if we were visiting "because it cuts out a cycle". I used to want to shout at her "the dishwasher has an unlimited amount of time and you haven't". Pans were never put in the dishwasher at all because it allegedly didn't get them clean. Instead she washed them by hand but because her eyesight was failing and she was too proud to admit it, did it really badly so that all the pans, roasting tins, utensils etc were covered in grease and just revolting.

Unreasonable to expect her to use her dishwasher, but not unreasonable to expect to be allowed to use it yourself if she expects you to do the washing up!

LMAO TheArmadillo at the thought of some reckless desperado breaking into your parents' house and stacking the dishwasher with pots!

yabu
let her do what she likes
you'll be old soon you know