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Original poster

At what age did you start enjoying your DC?

118 replies

StrawberryMummy90 · 14/10/2017 20:54

I have 2 DD's (DD1 is 2yrs and DD2 is 2mths) and I obviously love them to pieces but after having DD2 I've realized I don't really enjoy the baby stage much at all. Feeding, sleepless nights etc. I don't enjoy them depending on me for their every need and I find myself daydreaming about DD1 being a few years older and being able to watch movies with her and having more conversation etc

Just wondered what age you started to really enjoy your DC or have you just loved every minute from the newborn stage and I'm just a selfish, shit mum!

OP posts:
Firenight · 14/10/2017 22:16

8 is lovely. Younger than that is lovely too but less on my level. I love that my big kid is independent enough to make his breakfast and go off and do stuff without me and also that we can visit museums and galleries and have days out on a more adult level. It’s great.

The toddler gives good snuggles but is heavy to carry and wakeful and very very demanding.

MotherofA · 14/10/2017 22:17

I get bad anxiety in pregnancy and for a few months after . I think this is partly why I prefer after the first six months and enjoy it more as time goes on . Silly but when mine were tiny I was always scared of hurting them when dressing bathing etc . Feel better when they are a little more robust ?! Love hearing them giggle etc !

Tortycat · 14/10/2017 22:33

Mine currently 3 and 1. I've loved the newborn stage and wanted neither to grow up. Dc1 was very easy but now turned 3 has become hard work! Nice to hear from pp that good stuff to come but i feel wistful for younger days already!

StepAwayFromGoogle · 14/10/2017 22:34

The baby stage is horrendous, OP, I'm completely with you. Friends said 'enjoy those precious few weeks with your newborn' and I remember thinking, enjoy which bits exactly? The complete lack of sleep? The screaming baby that won't be put down? My ruined body? The constant crying (mine)? Nope, you're ok. I always say I could have cheerfully outsourced the first three months!

Orrery · 14/10/2017 22:46

Have a DS of 3 years and another of 7 months. I only seem to 'enjoy' things in hindsight, when all the crap bits have been erased from memory, like I 'enjoyed' breastfeeding cos it was cosy and a bonding thing, but only after I'd forgotten about the sore bits and the leaking bits and the engorging bits. I also 'enjoyed' taking my eldest out for his first walk, but only after we were safely home and I'd forgotten about my paranoia about dogs and strangers!

I also have some things I know I am NOT going to enjoy going through again, like potty training and tantrums.

I guess my answer to the question is probably that so far I've enjoyed some things at all ages, but I have found my overall enjoyment has decreased since having two of them to care for, probably because I don't enjoy not having any time to myself, and I really don't enjoy feeling disorganized and chaotic on a daily basis because my day is always filled with things that happen on their timescale. But, I do really, really enjoy the innocence and chance to depart from the sometimes ugly adult world when I go to a playgroup or activity. Gotta take the rough with the smooth I guess!

BillBrysonsBeard · 14/10/2017 22:52

Loved it from the start but in terms of relaxing and enjoying it more... probably since he turned 3. He can talk, he can be reasoned with, don't need any equipment for him other than carseat, he doesn't dart off anywhere, loves cuddles... he has been testing us recently with behaviour but that's so much easier to deal with than the sleeplessness and physical relentless baby phase (for me anyway!)

DaughterDrowningInJunk · 14/10/2017 23:04

This reply has been withdrawn

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timeforbedsleepyhead80 · 14/10/2017 23:13

Well, I'm only 18 months in so far but like you OP I didn't love the newborn bit. We had a terrible birth and recovery, epic silent reflux and other feeding issues and a very unusually anxious me to get over and get used to. I loved my DD the second I set eyes on her, but that first year was rough. The first three-six months way more so.

I remember brushing my teeth one night in the early days, so looking forward to bed because I was exhausted, but then getting that horrible sinking feeling because I knew that the next day was going to be exactly the same as the last one, and so on, forever. I was just thinking 'I cannot keep doing this day after day'. But I could, and I did and in the end it was all ok and the days weren't the same anymore.

I would say I've enjoyed DD since she turned 1 and that this enjoyment increases the older she gets. Obviously she's now into everything, and I can't take my eyes off her for a minute but it's less relentless and more rewarding. Even the tantrums don't really phase me really - everyone with older children I know keep giving me sympathetic looks and saying what a difficult age this is and I'm always like 'Are you joking? This is a bloody holiday compared to the early days'.

One day OP in the not too distant future, your child will run at you for a cuddle, properly belly laugh at something you've said, or give you kisses without having to be asked first, just because they love you. Those moment make all the slog of the beginning but so worth it.

Coastalcommand · 14/10/2017 23:15

From the moment they put her on my chest when she was born. She's not yet one but every day is such a pleasure.

Katedotness1963 · 14/10/2017 23:42

I've always enjoyed them, just for different reasons at different ages.

Baby, when they're so cute and cuddly and that baby smell, and babies necks! What is it about their wee necks, I just want to bury my face in there and smell them all the time.

Toddlers, when they're discovering everything, and pointing things out, things you'd forgotten were wonderful/amazing/surprising.

Then they go to school and you see them blossom, listen to stories about their days and time passes and it's surprising that your little person has parts of their life you don't really now about.

Teenagers, who you can play board games with, talk politics with, share opinions and have differing opinions to, enjoying spending time with, and you can see what kind of grown up they're going to be. What kind of adult you've raised.

oldlaundbooth · 14/10/2017 23:43

DH and I were talking about this earlier.

DS is 3 and personally I find it way easier and fun when they're older. Just the fact that you don't have to take the kitchen sink when you go out is a massive bonus. Took him out of a farm yesterday and had very little shenanigans, just a good time.

And you can talk to them! An actual conversation!

oldlaundbooth · 14/10/2017 23:44

Just to add OP that you will really appreciate the small age difference when they're a bit older as they'll play together lots.

DS is 3 and DD is just 9 months and they already entertain each other a fair bit.

oldlaundbooth · 14/10/2017 23:50

I'd honestly take a rampant, mega energetic bolting toddler over a newborn any day of the week.

As least with a toddler you can go outside and tire them out!

nutbrownhare15 · 15/10/2017 09:02

Started to see light at the end of the tunnel from about a year when I went back to work. Then I've started to really enjoy her from around 20 months as her language has started to develop. She's so funny and a right laugh. 26 months now and while there are tantrums, you can help her get through them by empathising and trying to understand that it's natural and not personal, so I let them wash over me while remaining as sympathetic as poss. The book How To Talk So Little Kids will Listen is amazing for helping you deal with the emotional side of having toddlers and has helped me enjoy her more. I agree about the baby stage, I hated it (loved her) and couldn't wait for it to end. I felt so out of control and was really tired all the time. Having to go through it all again is what's making me prevaricate about a DC2. If i could have a 1 year old tomorrow id def be up for it but just don't know if I can face another baby year again, esp as I won't be able to watch boxsets on the sofa all day with the baby on my chest.

thecatsabsentcojones · 15/10/2017 09:07

You're not selfish to feel that way, it's such hard work but people with older kids forget and look through with rose tinted specs.
I have a nine year old who is mostly reasonable, and a three year old who has just walked round a carpet whilst pissing. Reckon I've cleared up ten metres of urine. Let's just say it gets easier to enjoy them when stuff like that isn't happening....

Iwanttobe8stoneagain · 15/10/2017 09:09

The new baby stage is a boring slog imo. Once they reach about 1 you start getting more back, coupled with returning to work you appreciate it more once they are about3or 4 and really start to communicate, have interesting views etc that's when I think it gets really good

dementedma · 15/10/2017 09:10

When they became adults

headintheproverbial · 15/10/2017 13:45

OP - I'm with you. Just back from another endless park trip with 4yo and 7mo and wondering what the fuck has happened to my life!!

In all fairness the older one had started to become fun and a lot easier to handle aged around 3.5 so I've only 3 more years to go before reaching that stage again!!

I love my children and have loved moments of their babyhood. But broadly I find it a slog, boring, thankless and pretty torturous at times!!!

confused123456 · 15/10/2017 13:52

I loved the baby stage. My ds is 2 now and it's great how independent he is, but I do miss him being a tiny baby

MessyBun247 · 15/10/2017 14:06

Didn't enjoy before 18 months either time.

From 2-2.5 with DD1 I started enjoying her, and anything after 3 until now (12) has been fun and pretty easy.

DD2 is 20 months and she starting to get a bit more enjoyable, but I don't think I'll really be loving it until she's 2 or so.

Once they can talk properly they seem to calm down a bit. You can reason with them. They sleep better. They have all their teeth. They aren't constantly trying to do dangerous shit like eat stones. You can have truly enjoyable days out without having to worry about naps/milk feeds/nappies. It's magic watching them turn into little people rather than whinging little helpless lumps (can you tell I hate the baby bit Grin)

myusernameisnotmyusername · 15/10/2017 14:09

I’ve found good and not so good about all of it tbh. I didn’t like weaning but loved the rest of the baby years. She could talk early though so was always good company if you know what I mean! I hated potty training and she went through a phase when she was about 2 of tantrums and just wanting daddy but that age also had its high points. I think it generally gets better and better. I thought 3 was the best until she turned 4.

Blondeshavemorefun · 15/10/2017 14:26

Loving the baby stage - dd is 6mths but I ttc for 10yrs and took 5 private ivf to fall preg

I've wanted to be a mum for so long and finally happened

But I'm also a believer of routine and did mixed feeding so df helped out with feeds and dd slept /sleeps 12/13 hrs a night since 17w

Some people don't enjoy the baby stage and that's fine and Obv it's harder when have two close together

SEe friends with children. Being alone with toddler and babies is hard

  • get partner to help and also spend time away from your dc as well
Gammeldragz · 15/10/2017 14:29

7/8? When they can have conversations and be reasoned with. Can amuse themselves and resolve their own arguments!
I loved tiny baby stage. But after 6 months ish they are just years of hard work ;)

dertyyuoih2 · 15/10/2017 14:30

My DS is 2 and I love spending time with him, I now work full time and literally can’t wait to get home to play watch a movie etc .
He’s so funny in conversations and is ace and playing by himself when you are busy.

Cantseethewoods · 15/10/2017 14:32

Life begins when the youngest one is 3