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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to call social services?

35 replies

FuckedUpPanda · 14/10/2017 13:21

Name changed as outing. Sister confided in me that her doctor has reported her family to social services, they're outwardly very affluent and professional but I guess something she's said to her doctor has worried them. She say's she plans to tell social services the doctor misunderstood what she was saying and it's paranoia not events that have already occurred, but I really hope they don't let it be brushed aside as her partner is a very angry man, scares me, makes her fearful, their children are yelled at frequently for no reason at all, children are called names and sworn at, it feels like bullying. I've seen hints that suggest there may be violent behavior although no proof (very rough with the kids, hard smacking etc which makes me wonder if he's worse behind closed doors). WIBU to call social services and ask them not to listen when she says he's not a problem, she tries hard to protect him and save face, but I feel like those children deserve a lot better. I'm scared this will be traced back to me and I'll ruin our relationship and nothing will be done anyway, but I'm scared if I don't try those children will grow up in that environment.

OP posts:
FuckedUpPanda · 19/10/2017 17:51

Reported on Monday, SS visited Tuesday, she knew immediately that it was me, they told her they had a second 'anonymous' source but gave such specific details of what they'd reported it couldn't be anyone else. Frozen out completely as expected, but at least I know I've tried to protect my nephews if nothing else.

OP posts:
Naughty1205 · 19/10/2017 18:03

You did the right thing. Don't doubt yourself. Those poor kids living with that horrible bully.

FuckedUpPanda · 19/10/2017 21:17

Thanks, it is what it is. I'm sad that I've hurt her like this but she may one day come around to see that it was only done because she's so close she can't see what is and isn't okay and there may be some form of relationship at least for our children's sake as they've been very very close to this point.

OP posts:
PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 19/10/2017 21:23

Your sister is an adult. She can chose to stay or leave (i know it’s not as easy as that) but the kids have no choices. They have to stay. They can’t just pack up and move.
You have done the right thing in telling SS. You shouldn’t have to help cover this bullies tracks.

Smacking children is awful. You wouldn’t smack an adult because they have annoyed you as the adult would press charges for assault. Why is it that kids are viewed differently?

user1498854363 · 19/10/2017 21:24

Well done, the kids will know someone cared, and hopefully things improve for them= all good. Your sis may yet need you, she may need to accept help/support... thanks for caring for those kids

Juicyfruitloop · 19/10/2017 22:24

You are very brave. It is understandable you feel like you have betrayed her, you have not.

I'm sure she is hurt and angry at the moment, It is easier to shoot the messager. Hopefully with the support she will feel empowered to see his faults.

Telling you about the gp visit was most likely a subconscious cry for help. You done the right thing.

Flimp · 20/10/2017 12:04

you've absolutely done the right thing OP. Well done you for putting those children first. Flowers

glitterbiscuits · 20/10/2017 14:57

Well done. You should be immensely proud of yourself.

Text you sister to say your door is always open.

ruthieness · 20/10/2017 15:05

sorry just saw this thread and it is very difficult when only one person is likely to have made the report - but you did the right thing.

one other alternative is to speak to the children's school and see if they have concerns

LostwithSawyer · 20/10/2017 15:06

Your sister may be hurt and feel betrayed but tough shit. It's her job to protect those boys and she's failing.

You on the other hand have stepped up.

What ever happens, when those boys grow up they will know you did the right thing.

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