To think DP was being unreasonable last night

[expatinspain]

So, last night DD was having a sleepover at her granny's house and we decided to have a nice dinner at home, steak etc and a bottle of wine. DP doesn't drink much, unless he feels like it, which probably is around once every few months on a night out.

We had a glass of wine when we were cooking and he still had some left in the glass at dinner and topped his up, but then didn't drink any more. After dinner we were watching a movie and wrapping up presents for DD's birthday and over the course of the evening, around three hours, I finished the rest of the rest of the bottle. He went to bed as he had to get up early and I finished watching the film and came to bed. He was still awake and in a grumpy mood, turns out because he was annoyed that I 'needed to finish the whole bottle'.

I said to him, that I'm an adult and if I want to have a few glasses of wine on a Friday evening then I can and what's the problem? The last time we had a bottle of wine together was about a month ago, because he doesn't drink I don't normally bother. It's not like I'm polishing off a bottle of wine on a Tuesday evening!! He has form for being a bit judgy about people who 'need' to drink at home and seems to think alcohol should just be reserved for special occasions or nights out.

AIBU to think that he's being a bit ridiculous and a tad controlling about this. I feel like if I ever fancy a glass (or three) of wine once in a while (not even talking every week here!) I shouldn't be treated as if I'm a borderline alcoholic!

My goodness. We shared a bottle and a half last night. He sounds a bit controlling.

butchy The Spanish definitely drink!!! People are in the bars here drinking at 10.30am! I do think they tend to binge drink a bit less, but plenty still do.

Well, if it was about a shag he went the wrong way about it and didn't get one

I know Spain is not as bad as Iran or UAE but some Spanish families are quite conservative.
But as PP have said, it could have been more about him wanting a shag. But he was still being a dick.

Very controlling, definitely. That’s not exactly binge drinking and it’s not like you’re damaging your health in any way. I could understand it if you’d had alcohol problems in the past but that’s not the case at all.

I agree I think he wanted sex.

He would hate me as I have a drink most nights.

You don't have to justify having some wine, perfectly normal thing to do on a Friday night.

I'm going to talk with him later and get to the bottom of this, now I'm unanimously not unreasonable He def has some judgement issues about people drinking what he considers 'too much' (tends to reserve this judgement for people who drink at home as opposed to nights out) and needs to realise that his way is just that, his way, and other people, me included, have our own way and he should mind his own and stop being a judgement dick!!

Yeah he needs to stop being so controlling and sulky. I don't really see the difference between a bottle of wine at home and out either.

Wonder what he would have said if you'd told him you needed the wine to put you in the mood for a shag, but his judgy attitude was an insane turn-off!!!

How odd.

I had a whole bottle of prosecco last night because our kids were at sleepovers, he’d hate me!

Tell him to fuck off and drink what you want. I don't like people who don't drink. What is the world coming to if you can't have a glass of wine or two on a Friday.

It is no different to getting annoyed at what you eat because he wants you slim.

I'd be a bit annoyed if DP stayed up drinking and watching a film rather than spending time with me, it would make me feel the drink was a more important factor in enjoying yourself than spending time with someone you love.

Also the vast majority of people change after a few glasses of wine, I can't stand DP when he is tipsy to be honest. Could that be it?

@Winebottle you don't like people who don't drink?! people chose not to drink for a huge variety of reasons, teetotal people are not one homogenous group who are all exactly the same.

Really silky? You feel miffed if your partner chose to do something without you? Good job op doesn’t get into a sulky strop when her dh goes out cycling for hours without her eh? Crikey she was having a drink and watching a film, not moving to the moon without him.

He chose to go up to bed. OP chose to stay up with a nice glass of wine and a film. I love spending time with DP but fucked if I'm going to just toddle up to bed with him if what I want to do is relax downstairs, silk. He's reasonable though, so there wouldn't be an issue.

silk that's a little needy!

silky We'd had a big meal and I drank wine over three hours, I wasn't even tipsy! I also didn't stay up 'drinking', I was finishing my glass of wine I had poured and the film we were both watching when he decided to go to bed. I went to bed half an hour after him, when I'd finished watching the film and wrapping DD's presents.

...and my glass of wine

I’m like your dp but that’s because I’ve been at the sharp end of an alcoholic too many times and believe me the way some people drink puts me on edge. What’s his family situation? Growing up?

abigail They just don't really drink, well certainly not on a normal evening at home. Maybe one beer and that's it.

I’m like your dp

What, you’d sulk and strop if your partner didn’t dance to your tune and stayed downstairs finishing a glass of wine?
How annoyed OP. There’s no way I’d stop watching a film before the end and toddle up to bed just because my partner decided he’d had enough.