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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To cut kids contact with their Grandad?

3 replies

vj32 · 13/10/2017 17:44

My Mum and stepdad are getting divorced. It is a nasty separation, he was found to have been lying and cheating for a long time. He specifically lied to me about a trip he had been on a few months before he was found out. He has had contact with my kids but less regularly for about 9 months as I didn't want him to just disappear from their lives however now I am thinking about going NC with him. I cant trust him to take the kids out alone and its awkward and upsetting for me to have to see him. The kids are 4 and 7 so too young really to explain to them what has happened. Ive also just found out I have a minor medical condition which while not a massive deal isn't properly sorted yet and it can affect clarity of thinking so any advice would be helpful. Maybe just tell him we need to see him even less often? Im a bit concerned how he would react as well, he knows where the kids go to school etc.

OP posts:
eyebrowsonfleek · 13/10/2017 17:49

Did he lie to your kids as part of the cheating?
How long has he been your stepfather?
Did he have contact with or without you and your mother there?
Is he asking for increased contact ? Do you suspect it’s to spite your mum?

x2boys · 13/10/2017 17:55

Tricky are the kids close to him? How would it affect them not seeing him? I can see it from both sides I had a step Grandad who I adored he was very much my Grandad but my kids also have a step Grandad after a family rift he chose to have nothing to do with them tbh they didn't see him.much anyway so it hasent really affected them

vj32 · 13/10/2017 19:08

He had been in my life since I was a child, I was always clear in my head that I would always stay in touch if they separated, but the way in which everything happened means I don't want to. I didn't imagine that he would have had an affair for 10 years!

The kids were very close to him. I don't think he would endanger the kids or anything, but I don't trust him be honest if anything happened, and I'm not sure if things will ever improve.

OP posts:
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