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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cleaner Stealing

14 replies

DryIce · 13/10/2017 17:23

I'm sure this has been done before, but thoughts from anyone appreciated!

My cleaner has been with me about two years. She is usually in the house alone. Today I was rushing out the door when she arrived and saw she was wearing a necklace, which I also own one of.

I didn't think much of it til I got home and realised I haven't seen that necklace for a while. Have now hunted through the house and not found it. It is probably worth a hundred or so pounds.

A year and a half ago I lost a very expensive necklace that I reported to the police and insurance company. I'm obviously now questioning that.

My AIBU is - what are the odds she has the same necklace?? And if I have to fire her, what are my chances of getting either necklace back? I will mention reporting to the police, but they won't do anything and I am aware it was 1.5 years ago.

I feel quite gutted - it makes me feel sick to think of her going through my things, and I am not especially organised so other things could also have gone. Also - she's a bloody good cleaner!

OP posts:
MarchEliza · 13/10/2017 17:26

Is it really unique though or is it a brand (like Tiffany) that she may well have one of (or even a copy). I would be very sure of myself before I went making accusations against someone who has worked for me for 2 years...

LurkingHusband · 13/10/2017 17:29

Also - she's a bloody good cleaner!

The ideal cover ?

Original poster
DryIce · 13/10/2017 17:31

Yes sorry I should have said - it is a kind of high street brand, not iconic like Tiffany's so not impossible she would also own, but equally it isnt especially well known. I've had it 2.5 years (bday present) and never seem anyone else wearing one, for context

OP posts:
Papafran · 13/10/2017 17:32

What happened when you reported it to the police last time? Did they investigate or just give you a crime number? If the latter, what makes you think it will be any different this time around?
How expensive was the 'very expensive' necklace? £100 isn't that much for jewelry so I can easily imagine it being quite a common item. However, if it is a one of a kind item eg from a very small shop, that is different.

A bit amateurish to wear it in your presence though...

MrsEricBana · 13/10/2017 17:34

She'd have to be pretty daft to wear the necklace she took from you to your house!! Maybe she saw yours and liked it so bought one or asked for it as gift. Not enough to go on I'd say but I would be wary now I admit.

Papafran · 13/10/2017 17:35

OK, maybe text her and ask her and say 'Hi X I have lost my necklace which is silver with a crystal pendant. Could you have a look out for it next time you come over because otherwise I will have to report it to claim on the insurance'. That way, you give her the chance to replace it and pretend she found it. If you were more sure about it, you could install a nanny-cam to see if you could catch her putting it back, but I would feel a bit uncomfortable about that.

AnnetteCurtains · 13/10/2017 17:38

I'd ask her where she got it as I'd lost one the same and want to replace it as it had sentimental value to you

Original poster
DryIce · 13/10/2017 17:39

Yes exactly it is very difficult! I can easily replace this necklace but I am thinking of the other one - which was worth thousands and specially made for me as a gift. Not that I imagine I can do anything now, but I'm thinking I should let her go anyway as the trust is gone. I was hoping there'd be a way I could do that while getting my jewellery back - obvs if she did it

The police didn't do anything last time, but I had been wearing the necklace a few days before so I didn't know where I'd lost it, it was more of a report to notify and make a claim. I didn't suspect the cleaner at the time.

It does seem very foolish that she would wear it here! OTOH I have recently started maternity leave and generally I'm not home when she is here.

OP posts:
Papafran · 13/10/2017 17:49

Oh wow, that must have been awful to lose something so valuable. If the trust has gone, you could use the fact that you are now on mat leave to say you can't afford a cleaner and will be doing it yourself as you're home and let her go.

Fresh8008 · 13/10/2017 17:51

Install a secret camera in a few rooms and see what she gets up to.

Original poster
DryIce · 13/10/2017 17:54

I love all your spy ideas - I would feel like James Bond!

However I think discussing it is cementing that I just feel uneasy having her about. I will obviously feel awful if I am wrong, but the fact that I've never seen that necklace about is making me uncomfortable and I think I will let her go.

I was hoping if I confronted her saying I'd have to report it she may return it, buying guess there is no reason for her to do that.

OP posts:
Original poster
DryIce · 13/10/2017 17:54
  • but I guess
OP posts:
Tilapia · 13/10/2017 18:04

My cleaner stole cash from me. I noticed that some was missing (quite a small amount) so I thought I must have been wrong about how much I had. Then it happened again. I wasn’t prepared to go to the police so I just let her go.

Conceptdermaclinic · 18/10/2025 11:52

I had the same problem my cleaner stole a Wedgwood coffee set and still don’t know what else as I again I am not organised and I was counting on her.
I did report it to the police but don’t know her address exactly I have a crime reference but not sure what the police can do ?

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