School cliques in year 1

[Happyhappyveggie]

My DD who is 5 and in year 1 is massively struggling at school with friendships. She was very upset today as she's not been invited to a girls party and feels very left out as all the girls she plays with have been invited.
I'm really struggling to deal with it as I have a DS who is older and had none of these problems with cliques. A lot of the girls went to nursery together - am just worried DD will be left out right through school as a result.
Aibu to be worried? Girls friendships seem a whole different kettle of fish than boys

Year 1 was the worst year in my experience for friendship issues.
My dds did not go to the local Nurseries it hasn't been a factor.

Any suggestions for how to manage it @2014? What sort of issues did you come up against?

They're 5 years old.

They're a group of friends that have known each other since nursery, not a 'clique'.

And yes YABU to be worried this means she'll be left our right through school.

Kid's friendships are pretty fluid, especially during the early years.

Chill out and try not to worry

Help her to realise that she can't be invited to every party, some parents just can't afford to invite the whole class. Tell her it isn't a reflection of herself she's a lovely likeable girl but sometimes she will miss out. And sometimes she will be invited.

How you manage it is encouraging positive friendships and also resilience. We were new in the area so had to make an effort. Have you invited many of these families round to your house?

I guess it's just hard seeing her so upset. She said today she felt lonely in school

We have had a few kids round but the girl she was good friends with is playing more with this group hence dd feeling left out even more

Has the school got a buddy system, or a 'playground squad' who play games with the younger ones? It's sometimes called a 'friendship stop'?

If not, perhaps you could suggest it to the head?

You need to have seperate play dates with the girls in this group not just one.
Have a little Christmas party or Halloween tea or something for the families.
You have to make an effort. Suggest a half term meet up or something. Lots of things you could do

Am going to try a few things after half term. DD wrote a sweet letter to one of the girls inviting her round so hopefully that will help

I'd invite them for a Halloween tea after school on the last day before half term. Parents can stay for a cuppa if they like.

I agree with those above who say friendship groups can be very fluid at that age. The birthday girl is born pretty early in the school year. By Christmas-ish, things are more likely to have settled down a bit. TBH, I feel sorry for the birthday girl's parents as they'll be needing to organise a party when they'll hardly know a lot the kids. My DD's a November born, and that was tricky enough. Friendship groups are more likely to be established in a few years time, but at the moment it's hard. (I also think that the Sept/Oct born children/their families tend to base their party guest lists on last year's friendships, so they're often upset when a newer friendship establishes but it's too late by then to include that child in the party).

I'm sorry your DD is upset though.

You need to toughen up though too. Your daughter will not get invited to all the parties and likewise you now know you won't actually have to throw the hell that is the Whole class party.

When it is your DD's birthday she too will be able to chose a few friends and other people may feel sidelined.

You need to get used to it so you can help her realise that not everyone can go and sometimes only a few can.

Also its year 1 not reception so presumably she has been there a year or is she new to the school.

At this age sometimes the choice is the mum's choice in that she choses kids of her friends rather than the child chosing.

Thanks for all your suggestions/ reassurance. I just want her to feel happy and find some nice friends in school

Yes @allthebest she's been there a year