To ask to sit in on my child's class

[Sandsunsea]

To observe their behaviour, the behaviour of others and how my child interacts with others and vice versa. My child in SEN in mainstream but is constantly getting punished for 'bad' behaviour which I believe is linked to my child's disability rather than actually being naughty. I only have the schools word for the issues as my child cannot communicate to me their side of the story.

Volunteering as a back way into observing one's DC at school is nearly as bonkers as putting a hidden camera on them

Volunteering as a back way into observing one's DC at school is nearly as bonkers as putting a hidden camera on them

A mother in DD class who volunteers at school has helped within her own daughters class (listening to reading, I think.) So it may be possible to do it. And even if might alter the child's behaviour, it also might not, so it could still do some good.

Op, I know eaxactly how you feel, my dd (who has a ASD) struggled through primary school, different teachers dealt with her in different ways, for example dd would refuse to go into the hall or church due to the echo and noise (sensory issues), now most teachers would allow her to sit out, eat her lunch in a different room and not force her to go to church, she then got another teacher who decided dd did not have ASD and she was just being stubborn so she gave dd the choice of going to church or sit in the corner of the room facing the wall until the rest of the class returned. Now, dd was not being naughty, she has sensory issues around sound, she has a diagnosis of ASD and SPD, the teacher had no right to punish her. I'm not sure what else went on with this teacher and I wish I had been able to see. Having a sn child in ms is worrying, you know the child better than anyone, you know how to punish them if they are naughty and you know how to calm them when there SN's are causing a meltdown, the teacher doesn't know your child like you do. All I can suggest is you arrange a meeting and voice your concerns.

I could be wrong, but I think the classrooms in DD school have CCTV, and the head can randomly monitor any class. I don't think there would be any reason why (in exceptional circumstances on a limited number of occasions) a class parent shouldn't be allowed to monitor via CCTV from the heads office, say. (This given that parents are sometimes allowed to actually be in classrooms anyway.)

What does the bad behaviour consist of (to your understanding)?

I agree with the suggestion to volunteer, although of course it may not be accepted. Also asking for other members of staff to be involved is a good idea. Believe it or not there are plenty of teachers who cannot cope with children with SEN, so the teacher may be creating situations that encourage the child to misbehave. (Or maybe not.)

Am I alone in assuming the hidden camera suggestion was in jest? If not then I laughed inappropriately.

Graciela - i also assumed the hidden camera was a joke.

I am a teacher and there is no way I would let you into my lesson to observe due to safeguarding.

Having you in there wouldn't help your child either who would be constantly looking at you or trying to communicate.

You need to go into school and ask for a meeting with SLT, SEND & the class teacher.

Have you spoken to the teacher prior to wanting to sit in the class. I'm guessing from you saying that your child is not able to communicate the issues to you that his SN means he is non verbal? In which case could it be argued that a mainstream environment isn't necessarily the best outcome for his education? In many instances it isn't the best solution but due to lack of funding specialist provision has to be fought for.

If your child is simply struggling due to lack of support perhaps knowing what the issues are could be the push the LA needs to either offering more support in the current setting or, if appropriate, making provision for the child to be educated in a more specialist environment which accommodates his SN.

I think you will find that you have more useful (and respectful) responses if you move this to Special Needs.

What sort of misbehaviour are the school reporting?

The bigger question is - What are you going to do with the information you find?

Literally never heard of a parent doing this and I highly doubt it would be allowed. Surely if they let one parent do this, then they will have to let all parents.

If you are not happy with the education that your child is getting at this school then you need to think about moving them.

I've had mums come in and observe their children in my class. It's fine by me but they don't get a true picture because their child knows their mum is right there and they are like a different person. Sometimes they act up and sometimes they behave better than usual. Luck of the draw.

I've worked in primary schools and teachers have sometimes asked parents to come in and observe their child, then to discuss ways of helping their child's behaviour.

I would go in and tell your teacher what you are worried about and that you would like to sit in for a bit.

"Surely if they let one parent do this, then they will have to let all parents"

Not true.
The OP has a valid reason for wanting to do this. Most other parents wouldn't.

Surely you realise that your little one would change his behaviour because you're there and the whole thing would be pointless?

Penguin's idea is the best, so far.

No way they’ll let you sit in on a lesson.

I agree with the poster who suggested asking an independent professional to shadow your child in class then arrange a meeting with the professional, the class teacher, sen staff and anyone else normally involved in meetings planning to meet your child's needs.

My son was diagnosed with ASC when he was six, as part of his diagnosis process, his psychologist shadowed him throughout a normal school day. Including break times. My dh and I requested referral through our gp, my sons then school didn't think he was autistic, labelled him as 'naughty' and as a result rubbished our concerns about our son. Having the psychologist visit the school was not only life changing, it forced the school to recognise our sons difficulties. For example, during break time the staff believed my son was screaming and deliberately chasing and running into other children. They believed he was getting pleasure from this because he had a 'smile' on his face. In fact, our son was in a state of sensory overload, his brain had gone into 'flight mode' and he was running terrified. His heart was racing and he was sweating through fear. He has no idea where his body is in relation to other people/ objects , which is why he was running into people, he screamed because he was terrified of the noise in the playground and vocalising allowed him to concentrate on his own noise! He was smiling because he had a limited range of facial expressions. It took a psychiatrist one day to see what we had been concerned about for years!

Within the classroom my son was stimming and vocalising because he was completely overwhelmed by the noisy, bright classroom environment. He stimmed to calm himself but was repeatedly told off for this. His teacher thought he was being silly/ deliberately distracting his peers when he rocked back and forth on his chair whilst covering his ears. His psychologist was able to explain to my sons teacher that he was behaving this way as a coping mechanism. I could have spent time observing my son and explaining his behaviour, however I know that they would not have listened to me, let alone believed what I was saying.

If your sons psychologist/ specialist is unable to/ too busy to visit your sons school, contact a charity that deals with your child's disability. The year after my son was diagnosed, he was placed in a class with a new teacher. We were having the same issues as we had the years before, so I contacted the national autistic society and the last who ran our local branch volunteered to visit my sons school and observe my son then explain his behaviour to his new teacher. She then offered to run a course on autism for firstly the staff at school, then for parents of all children in the school. This was fantastic and I cannot praise the NAS high enough for their support. Unfortunately, the school were good at making promises but really bad at following them through. We chose to remove our son from school and we have home educated for the last two and a bit years. This has proven to be fantastic for our son and he has progressed way further than we ever dared to dream!

If you could afford it, I would get a qualified professional to observe a lesson as part of assessing your child and helping to suggest coping strategies specific to the classroom. The professional would most likely ask the school to fill out some initial assessments to familiarise themselves and could tell you if they observed the behaviour the school is reporting, etc.

Cross posted